From Occasional Crossdresser to Davina: My Journey Along the Trans Spectrum

Before I accidentally came out to my wife, crossdressing was something that came and went in my life—rare, occasional moments starting from childhood. It wasn’t about presenting as a woman. 

Back then, it was about the feel of lingerie, the pull of stockings, the thrill of heels and howsexy my lrgs looked wearing them. 

I might try something on a few times a year, never with makeup, never a full look. Dresses were rare. It was mostly lingerie.

I remember when my girlfriend—now my wife—and I moved in together. I hadn’t dressed in ages. But with time off work, home alone working on the house, I began exploring her wardrobe. It wasn’t frequent. A few times a year at most. 

I even remember once wearing all red lingerie while watching my football team—who play in red—win 4-0. Lucky red lingerie! But even then, it was more curiosity and desire than identity.

Then came the day that changed everything. She asked, playfully, to dress me up. For a laugh, she said post coming out to her. But for me, it felt like she’d seen through to something deeper. I assumed she knew. So I told her. I came out. And it upset her—because she hadn’t known. She hadn’t realised. She thought it was a bit of fun, not something real. She asked if I was gay. If I wanted to be a woman. If it was her fault.

That was a turning point or maybe the point Davina was ‘born’ and my crossdressing moved along the trans spectrum a bit more. 

That night, she put makeup on me. Styled my hair a little more femininely. 

I saw myself in a mirror for the first time as someone… else. Not just a man in lingerie, but something approaching a woman. That was the moment the dressing shifted. The presentation changed. 

Over time, lingerie and heels weren’t enough. I added dresses. Then makeup. Then a wig. Then a better wig. My goal became passability—presenting not just as someone in women’s clothes, but as a believable, classy woman. 

I didn’t plan it. I didn’t see it coming. But the truth is, that night of dressing for fun and that accidental coming out started something bigger and much more frequent for a while.

It was my wife—unknowingly—who helped create Davina, although she may not like me typing that. And it’s her acceptance, even if at times only tolerance, that has allowed ‘Davina’ to grow.

I think telling her i dressed gave her the impression it was something i was doing every time she left the house but it was rare.. I was a crossdresser crossdressing but a hand full of times per year and just trying things on not presenting as a woman just wearing womens things.

I don’t plan to transition. I’ll never live full-time as Davina. I do this in private, as needed. But

I’m more than just a crossdresser (That shouldn’t alarm my wife “I hope” as I’ve said it’s not going to be a full time thing read on) … in that I dont just wear the clothing I aim to present as a woman as passable as I can now. I walk somewhere on the trans spectrum. 

A t-girl encompasses a better description when I’m dressed fully for me a more modern term (I won’t use the term transvestite as it seems too clinical and Tranny not serious enough more derogatory).

I don’t know what label fits perfectly—but I know who Davina .. She’s not a person she’s me and Davina is the label I use as a name to reference that T-girl I become when i can 

Davina