From trying on lingerie to now - A Journey i never knew I was on..

It started with a pair of black tights, then lingerie then stockings as a kid and stepping into high heels.

I remember how they felt against my skin—silky, delicate and when I was a teenager, alone in the house with too much curiosity and not enough knowledge of what I was doing.

I wasn’t confused, just drawn to something I didn’t fully understand. More curious and loved the feel and the fantasy of being with women wearing what I was trying on.

Back then, it wasn’t about presenting as a woman, escapism or being feminine in the bigger sense—it was about the sensation, the rush, and maybe the secret.

For years, that was it. A thrill. A guilty pleasure. A part of me I never expected to share or explore in the light.

If you'd told me as a young boy in stockings, heels and lingerie that one day I'd have a femme name—Davina—a wardrobe of dresses, draws of makeup, a bag with hosiery and wigs and a blog like this, I think he'd have laughed and said dont be silly this is just a phase I like wearing these "sey things" I get off on it nothing more…

But here I am a few decades later.

There was a moment, I think in my mid-thirties, when things started to shift. I had a long, wavy blonde wig which I picked out with my wife, and for the first time, I remember looking in the mirror and thinking, “You know what? I actually look kind of convincing, pretty even” 

AIs turned the photo of me into this cartoon - See the bottom for the real pic

That was new. It was no longer just the feel of the clothes—it was the whole picture coming together. Wig, makeup (Wow I'm good at makeup and my wifes confirmed this), heels, a dress that hugged in just the right way. Davina had arrived - As I mentioned born from my wife dressing me fully and putting makeup on me.

I wonder if she realises this?

Still, I didn’t dress all the time, and I still don’t. Family life, responsibilities, the reality of a world that doesn’t always understand—those things matter too. But every time I returned to crossdressing, things came back a little more complete, a little more… Davina.

I don't mean that in Davina is becoming a real person "Davina" is still areference name but I mean presenting as a woman is becoming more complete - I don't dress unless I can present fully and that means time for makeup and a wig, lingerie, hosiery, heels and a dress or i dont dress but I mean I'm getting better at presenting and looking more like a woman.. maybe its the practised makeup maybe its the wig that completes the look but I think I can pull off lookig like a woman more now than I did in my 40s..

And now? Fifteen years on from that first “convincing” reflection cartoonised above from the actual photo, I honestly think I’m looking more feminine than ever. Not just in how I present physically—though practice, better makeup, a better wig, and confidence definitely help—but in how I feel. There’s a peace and presence in becoming and being "Davina" that wasn’t there when I was younger. I used to chase a look and probably the fetish. Now I inhabit a version of myself - My escape from male me for a bit. - You'll be fed up of reading that but it is an escape.

My current look

It’s strange to say, but I think age has actually helped.

I know my angles, I understand my style, and most importantly, I’m not trying to be someone I’m not. I’m not chasing youth or perfection. I’m just being me crossdressed trying to present as feminine as I can for me not for anyone else "Davina". And there’s something powerful in that.

So yes, it started with hosiery and lingerie. With thrill and secrecy and the feeling of nylon against skin. But it’s become something much deeper: a sanctuary, a release, a true part of who I am.

Not full-time. I don’t want to transition. But I do want to keep crossdressing - I don't want to stop.. the space to breathe, dress, feel pretty, feel sexy and feel different.

And if you’re reading this, wherever you are on your journey—from stolen stockings to full presentation—I want to say this:

It’s okay to grow into yourself slowly.

It’s okay to look back and smile at the early days.

And it’s more than okay to feel more beautiful now than you ever did before.

I do.

Davina x

Me in probably 2010?

Me in July 25