Holiday, reflections, heat, fitness Pirates and thoughts of Davina

The holiday has finally caught up with us.

Five days in and we're definitely due a siesta today.

The combination of relentless heat, late nights, good food, drinks and plenty of walking has taken its toll.

It's funny how a holiday develops its own rhythm. You spend the day by the pool, cooling off every so often with a dip in the sea or pool, then retreat for a couple of hours before showering, changing and heading out again for an evening meal, a few drinks, some entertainment or simply sitting people-watching.

There's just one problem...

The hotel air conditioning is hopeless.

Normally, that cool hotel room becomes your escape.

You leave the baking sun behind, wash off the sweat, lie on the bed for an hour and recharge before the evening.

Here, there is no escape. The room never cools down.

Open the balcony door and the thick wall of Mediterranean heat just rolls inside. It's one of those things you don't really appreciate until you don't have it.

Despite that, I've managed to keep my routine going.

Most mornings I'm up before everyone else for a 6,000-7,000 step walk while the temperature is still bearable. I'm certainly not alone.

Between seven and half past eight the promenade is alive with runners, walkers and cyclists all trying to beat the heat before the sun takes over.

It's become one of my favourite parts of the day.

Earbuds in. Podcast playing. Watching the world wake up.

And yes... there's plenty of people watching.

Some incredibly fit women powering along in their Lycra running gear, putting in the miles.

Equally, there are plenty of men built like Greek statues. I'm sure my wife wouldn't complain if one of those wandered past with sculpted pecs, a six-pack and arms the size of my legs! That's human nature.

We all notice attractive people.

The difference is I'm not out there just to admire the scenery. I'm walking because I want to keep my own fitness ticking over and, if anything, it's made me even more motivated to get back into the gym when I get home.

Tuesday night we went to the Pirates show.

Absolutely brilliant.

The acting, comedy, storytelling and sheer athleticism were incredible. No wires. No tricks. Just years of practice and unbelievable skill.

The male acrobats certainly had plenty of the women in the audience smiling...

...and the female performers had more than a few of us men forgetting to blink.

The strength, flexibility and confidence they displayed was astonishing. Flying through the air above our heads with perfect timing, making something impossibly difficult look effortless.

Did I mention the women acrobats?

Wow.

My morning walks have also become thinking time.

I've been listening to podcasts about crossdressing, including an interview with the wife of a crossdresser.

Listening to someone speak so openly about acceptance, understanding and how their relationship evolved was genuinely comforting.

It reminded me that none of this is unique to us. Other couples have travelled the same road, asked the same questions and found their own way through.

It also made me realise just how much I've missed Davina.

She's been quietly absent for a few months now, partly because life has simply been busy.

Sitting here on holiday, listening to those conversations while watching the sunrise over the sea, I've found myself thinking ahead rather than looking back.

September feels like a fresh start.

When we're home, I want to bring Davina back into the conversation with my wife—not as some huge announcement, but naturally. I want to give her the book I've written.

I've actually been listening to it myself using Adobe's text-to-speech with one of the female voices through my earbuds, and hearing my own story read back that way has been strangely emotional.

I'd also like to send her the podcast I've been listening to. Sometimes hearing another wife describe the same emotions, concerns and eventual acceptance carries far more weight than anything I could ever explain myself.

Maybe it'll open another conversation.

Maybe it'll simply reassure her that we're far from the only couple navigating this.

For now though, the plan is simple.

Find a little shade.

Have that much-needed siesta.

Try not to melt.

And tomorrow morning, before the heat arrives once again, I'll be back out walking with a podcast in my ears, watching another Mediterranean sunrise and wondering what the next chapter for me, for us, and for Davina might look like.

Davina.