My Wife’s Journey to Acceptance

It didn’t happen overnight.

When I first shared Davina with my wife, it was hard—for both of us.

I was nervous, vulnerable, and unsure how she'd react.

She was shocked, confused, and—understandably—full of questions I wasn't prepped for.

For a while, we danced around it, both afraid to say the wrong thing. But over time, and through many quiet, honest conversations (and a few awkward silences), something shifted.

She began to see my crossdressing not as threat, but as a part of me—a part that needed space and expression. a part that that made me happier, calmer, more grounded.

Her acceptance came in stages:

• Stage 1: Knowing but not discussing

• Stage 2: Tolerating but keeping distant

• Stage 3: Asking questions

• Stage 4: Seeing photos

• Stage 5: Helping with clothes and makeup

• Stage 6: Meeting Davina in person

• Stage 7: Girls nights in the

• Stage 8: Going out together in public, side by side

One of the turning points came when she saw me fully dressed for the first time.

She didn’t laugh or get angry. She looked me up and down and said something I’ll never forget: “You look like a woman” The word—classy was hers in future chats about how "Davina" should present herself - "You need to look Classy not Trashy" —has stuck with me ever since.

She expected something outlandish, maybe even caricatured. Instead, she saw a well-put-together image of a woman: nice dress (one of hers), subtle makeup (which she complimented me on), heels, and poise. Not trashy. Not attention-seeking.

Just me, dressed differently—but still me.

Now, she’ll even joke that I’ve done her makeup better than she’s done her own. We’re not out in the open about Davina—she doesn’t want the kids or friends knowing—but behind closed doors, her support made all the difference.

That said, life has changed.

After that amazing step forward—going out together in public pre-pandemic—things slowed right down.

The pandemic hit, and like it did for so many of us, it stole momentum.

Lockdowns, lack of privacy, and family life meant 'Davina' had to take a backseat.

Then the kids got older and stopped needing babysitting—which sounds like it should bring more freedom, but instead meant they were always around, coming and going unpredictably.

Even working from home with the freedom of College and Uni and kids coming home unpredictably there just hasn't been the space or peace to crossdress.

And with fewer opportunities has come something else—less communication which feels like a bit of a backwards step..

We don’t talk about Davina like we used to.

Maybe we’re both unsure how to bring it up. Maybe the world sped up again, but we didn’t quite catch up.

I miss those open moments.

I know she still accepts me, still loves me, but there’s a quietness now where there used to be curiosity.

Still, I’m hopeful. Even a little Davina time would help me reset.

And maybe it’s time to find our way back to those conversations—step by step, just like before.

Davina