Our Wedding anniversary

Today marks 24 years of marriage to my wife.

We’ve shared so much together—life, laughter, hard times, raising a family, growing older side by side and me being a Crossdresser in the middle of all this.

Tonight a meal out, maybe some drinks just the two of us, and on the weekend a trip to Cardiff—Again just the two of us maybe the comedy club and book into a hotel as we don't have enough us time.

I hope she’ll wear something nice—a nice dress, makeup, perhaps even heels.

She always looks beautiful, but when she dresses up, there’s this added sparkle..

And me? I’ll be her husband. Fully, completely MALE.

I won’t be Davina on our anniversary—I’ll be him / Me. The man she married. The man who holds her hand, who opens doors and makes her laugh. And I love being that man for her.

But—there’s always a “but,” isn’t there?

Even while I’m smiling across the table and loving every second, I'm also a little jealous that she's gone through the process of makeup, lingerie, nice dress and heels, done her hair and red lippy. I'm out in the city and around us lots of other women all dressed up looking their best, heels, dresses, legs and I'm lucky in that I have a "licence to peruse and critique" as after 20 odd years my wife knows I'm not the kinda man who's thinking "Cooor I'd give her one!!" .. She knows I'm appraising what they're wearing or appreciating their look and effort as well as hers.

It would be nice to have the choice - How to present which women have.. All the women and my wife out on the weekend have the choice of makeup, heels, dresses or no makeup, jeans, trainers, blouse / shirt, football shirt even.

As I mentioned I sometimes feel jealous of how women can present themselves—how they have permission from the world to shine, to adorn themselves.

For someone like me, who carries a crossdressing identity in secret, who only gets to be “Davina” now and then, watching that freedom play out is both joyful and bittersweet.

Joyful in that I / We like no we love people watching and what's better than people watching together critiquing together and knowing neither of you are letching just appraising and for me thinking - love her makeup, hair, dress, heels.. Wish i could get away with wearing that here now..

"Davina" will sit quietly in the background of my head that night, smiling in support, maybe wistfully imagining what I'd wear if I could be there presenting as a women.

But it's too local, and I need to be the man I am—the husband I am—loves this woman deeply. And that love, after 24 years, is worth celebrating.

Tomorrow - Another anniversary - 24 years since I wore my wifes wedding lingerie, stockings, heels and wedding dress whilst she was relaxing in the bath before we set off for our honeymoon lol.. Up in the bedroom I couldn't resist and it felt so nice.

I'm not slim enough to get into it now .. but working on it.

24 years of marriage xxx I wonder as I can't remember the actual date or month I came out fully as Davina to my wife or the date she came home and met me as that's another anniversary to celebrate.. She had no idea when she married me that she married 2 for the price of one male me and also a girlfriend lol.

Davina