Pride Cymru done and dusted what did it achieve for the T?

Pride Cymru happened recently in Cardiff, and while I didn’t go, I’ve seen the usual photos and coverage trickle through social media.

Ok in the cartoon I've a Trans flag dress on but I'd dress to blend in if i went and hope no one even realised i was Trans.. rather than those behind me..

Drag queens, people dressed in bondage gear, rainbow flags, big smiles, and bold makeup—it’s loud, it’s bright, and it’s a celebration.

But I couldn’t help but feel, once again: this isn’t really for me - Why sexualise it why not just celebrate hey people won these freedoms for us - Why sexualise it!

I wrote a blog the week before Pride and having seen photos and read about this years Pride Cymru in Cardiff I don't think I's have fit in .. I’m a straight, married man… but I’m also somewhere on the trans spectrum so definately in there and maybe an LGBTQ+ Ally? Or put it this way each to their own, love is love but please don't sexualise it and rub it in my face as then I tend not to be so much of a fan of it.

I crossdress. I’ve developed a whole feminine presentation over the years.

I take care with how I dress, how I move, how I look not to demene women or make it comical or sexualised.

Had I gone to Pride, I would’ve presented as Davina to fit in with other women not to stand out.

Not flamboyant.

Not over-the-top.

Just… me. A dress, black tights, heels, red lips, lashes painted.

I would’ve walked the streets of Cardiff quietly, soaking it all in—If anyone asked are you trans I'd say "Yes happy Pride".

But I didn’t go. Because truthfully, I’m not sure Pride is for people like me - I just want to get on with my life it all feels to me too much and that most of these people didn't win this right and recognition and those who did - What would they think of some of this now? Is this what they fought for?

My thoughts on this won't go down well with everyone in the LGTBQ+ world - I've been told before you have Straight Pride 11 months of the year this is our month - Ahem I'm in that T so I'm in there too but I don't celebrate those 11 months straight pride - I don't sexualise that I'm straight or go over the top with it.. WE just live it so live and let live don't go looking to pick a fight with straight people and some straight people don't go looking to pick a fight with anyone LGBTQ+ most just celebrate it quietly some go over the top - That's my point and bug-bear.

Crossdresser. Straight. Married. Where Do I Fit?

It’s a strange place to occupy: I’m not living full-time as a woman. I’m not gay or bi.

I’m not out to many people just my wife.

I’m married and love my wife.

I’m also someone who’s explored their gender through crossdressing for decades—someone who feels the urge and relief that comes from presenting femininely, someone who slides along the trans spectrum with some dignity and respect for women.

Pride often celebrates the bold, the out, the defiant, the club-goers, the activists, the ones with flags and followers. And that’s fine.

But what about the quiet ones?

The men who don’t feel like men further along the spectrum than me.

The ones who keep their feminine self behind closed doors.

The ones who aren’t gay, but still need to express something that isn’t masculine.

The ones who can’t tell their kids or in-laws or workmates.

The ones who dress in hotel rooms or early mornings before the house wakes up.

Are we welcome too? Maybe? I don' know but we probably don't as we're not out to the world.

When Even LGBTQ+ Feels Like It’s Not For You

There’s also another layer: not all gay, lesbian, or bi people even accept the “T” part.

Some argue trans people don’t belong in the LGBTQ+ umbrella because it’s about sexuality, not gender.

Even within trans spaces, straight trans people are sometimes looked at with suspicion—as if you’re only valid if your sexuality is non-mainstream too. - I was told once based on this "You're not a proper Tranny"

The shock factor takes over pride the loud of voice and loud of image take over Pride and its those people who come to mid to a lot of not LGBTQ+ people because of Pride and that does damage the quieter members of the community - My opinion.. Tars Crossdressers with the Drag queen brush etc.

I’ve seen how straight trans women or crossdressers are brushed aside for not being queer enough. And yet, we’ve faced our own struggles. We’ve sat in silence at weddings, watching the bride in her dress while secretly imagining how it might feel to wear that too.

We’ve fought to be both good husbands, fathers and honest with ourselves.

We’re here. We’re not always visible. But we exist.

What Pride Could Be

Pride, to me, should be about inclusion.

Not just loud celebration and the shock factor—but quiet recognition that some people are part of LGBTQ+ but don't want all the fuss or anything to do with the shock factor.

A space where people like me don’t have to prove how queer we are, or justify our presence, or explain that crossdressing isn’t drag.

A space where being a married, straight man on the trans spectrum doesn’t feel like a contradiction.

If the space felt safer, if we didn't fear questions should we be seen in the crowd as male us or crossdressed..more understanding, more inclusive of the quieter stories— Maybe more would go walking in the crowd to blend in not to turn heads or shock.

And maybe I’d finally feel like Pride was for people like me too.

Davina