Psycology of Femininity and Crossdressing v Women?

I'm not a psycologist can't even spell it properly and didn't do psycology in college or Uni but life experiance has taught me a lot of philosophical things and i think i have a lot of philosophical thoughts so here goes.. By the way 3rd blog of today i'm on a roll..

As someone who occupies two distinct presentations — the everyday masculine exterior and my feminine self, Davina — I’ve become increasingly aware that crossdressing is not simply an act of clothing, but a complex psychological experience.

It represents emotional access, identity expansion, and a temporary shift into a different mode of being.

i want to explore what I feel are the psychological underpinnings of my own crossdressing experience and compare it with what I think many women feel when interacting with their own femininity.

This is just my perception any ladies reading this tell me if I'm right or wrong?

I think what emerges is a fascinating blend of similarities, contrasts, and shared emotional languages - But maybe women take this for granted where for us Crossdressing is a joyful event compared to living as a woman 24/7.

When I become Davina, I experience a clear and measurable psychological transition — a shift in mood, cognition, and self-perception. The feelings include:

• a mental shift

• grounding

• a sense of peace

• emotional release

• confidence

• joy

• sensuality and softness

• relief

• escapism

  
  

I move from one external identity configuration to an internal hidden one.

For me, the masculine state often carries expectations: strength, practicality, emotional restraint, responsibility as an exterior.

Internally hidden Davina, however, exists in a space where emotion, softness, expressiveness, and vulnerability become yes thats the word they become.

This shift is not “pretending,” nor is it escapism in the trivial sense. It is entering a legitimate psychological mode that is suppressed or inaccessible in my day-to-day life but always somewhere in my thoughts - Funny that in a work meeting today no feminine thoughts that alpha was at work but later working at home i felt the need to blog as Davina.

For many crossdressers, the steps of expressing femininity — applying makeup, selecting clothing, feeling fabrics, seeing oneself in the mirror — like some sort of ritualised self-regulation. - It is for me anyway.. my reset as I call it.

For me, the ritual is meditative.Grounding.Emotionally stabilising.

Women,must have similar dynamics? makeup and dresses their tools for emotional preparation, identity affirmation, and social readiness.

But it may for women also feel obligatory? - Like men are expected to present a certain way so are women so we're all shaped by societal expectations.

For me, the ritual, my escapism is voluntary and needed.

For women, they are habitual or expected.

This creates a key psychological contrast I think:

• For women, femininity can be a daily negotiation makeup or no makeup, dress or jeans ultra fem or dress in a more masculine way or dress for comfort.

• For me, femininity is an intentionally accessed emotional sanctuary.

There's a saying something along the lines of what we wear or how we present or how we perceive others depending on how they present shapes:

• our thoughts

• our emotions

• our posture

• our confidence

• our behaviour

• our perception of someone even how we feel ourselves.

  
  

When I put on tights, heels, lingerie, a dress — my cognition shifts.

I become more expressive, more emotionally open, more confident in a feminine way. The body and how I'm presenting in the mirror informs the mind.

Women must feel this in subtler ways, because the novelty is absent.

For a woman, wearing a dress may feel normal; for me and other crossdressers its forbidden its effect on us is extraordinary.

This is not because my feelings are exaggerated — it’s because the contrast between my two presentations heightens the psychological effect when I can become Davina and revel in the escape allowing myself to feel more feminine as opposed to this alpha male.

There is an intense emotional phenomenon many crossdressers recognise: the moment of seeing oneself in the mirror once fully transformed.

For me, that mirror moment is both grounding and electrifying.A mixture of:

• relief (“There I am.”)

• recognition

• pride in how I look and feel

• even a brief suspension of tension in the body

  
  

I've read this is referred to as "gender euphoria.” It is not limited to crossdressers I don't think as I hope women experience similar peaks of affirmation when they dress up for a special event and feel beautiful, polished, or powerful. Hair, nails and makeup done heels a dress etc.

The difference is probably frequency:

• Women can experience this across a spectrum of moments any time they like without judgement.

• I experience it intensely but infrequently.

  
  

Because Davina appears rarely, the emotional reward is amplified.

I wonder what Women think of sexy lingerie - Probably uncomfortable? not necessary? preter something comfy?

Not the answer us Crossdressers would give ..

For me, lingerie has an internal power.It creates:

• heightened self-awareness

• femininity

• sensual embodiment

• emotional warmth

• a cognitive shift toward softness

• a feeling of sexiness

  
  

The difference lies in cultural expectation:Women sometimes view lingerie as sexualised by default, or tied to presentation for someone else.For me, lingerie is internal first, external barely at all.

I take lots of pics of myself as Davina but you wont see me posing in sexy lingerie on flikr..

It is not for male gaze.It is for identity gaze — the internal lens through which I confirm Davina’s existence.

One of the deepest psychological elements of crossdressing is the access to softness and emotion.

In male presentation, emotional expression can feel subtly (or overtly) restricted - We're frowned upon for showing a softer side.

In femininity, however, society allows — and even expects — emotional expression.

Women live in an emotional space that men are often denied.

When I express Davina, I access:

• vulnerability

• gentleness

• emotional release

• warmth

• openness

These qualities are not inherently feminine — they are human — but femininity creates permission for them.

Thus the psychological reward of becoming Davina is immense:I step into a mode where I can express the parts of myself that often remain hidden.

Similarities between women and crossdressers

• Makeup creates cognitive/emotional shifts.

• Clothing alters mood and self-perception.

• Dressing up increases confidence and joy.

• Lingerie can create internal empowerment.

• Femininity can be grounding and expressive.

• Special dressing moments create emotional uplift.

Differences

• Women experience femininity as ongoing identity; I experience it as episodic identity.

• Women may face social pressure; my pressure comes from needing privacy or acceptance.

• Women’s femininity can be routine; mine is ritual.

• Women may feel burdened by unrealistic societal expectations; I feel liberated when I escape masculine ones.

• Women live feminine emotional permission daily; I access it temporarily but intensely.

As Davina, these are the questions I wish I could ask women directly:

1. Does makeup change your mood or is it simply routine?

2. How do you feel emotionally when you dress casually — still feminine, or neutral?

3. Does dressing for work feel expressive or restrictive?

4. When you get fully dressed up — nails, hair, makeup, heels, dress — what internal state does that trigger?

5. Do you feel emotionally different in lingerie, even if no one sees it?

6. Does femininity make emotional vulnerability easier or more socially accepted for you?

7. Do you ever feel jealous of men’s freedom from beauty standards, the way I sometimes feel jealous of women’s freedom to be feminine?

8. Do women notice the same grounding, confidence, and emotional shifts that I experience when becoming Davina?

As Davina, I’ve come to realise that the psychological elements of femininity — confidence, softness, emotional expression, sensuality, beauty, vulnerability — are profoundly human.

Women live these experiences as an integrated part of identity.I visit these experiences as an alternate self-state.

But the emotions themselves?We share them.

Femininity is not exclusive.It is a psychological landscape available to anyone who steps into it — whether daily or occasionally.

And for me, Davina is not an illusion.She is a real psychological presence.A version of myself who brings balance, grounding, joy, and emotional truth.

I really rambled in my thoughts there and it started me popping my head into the bathroom with Esme in the bath and I thought after bathing she could do anything, throw on a sexy nighty or Pjs, decide she wanted to play with makeup and dress up or just put on something comfy and I wondered what a woman feels when doing all this compared to the escapism we get as Crossdressers - Whats normal and available to a woman I wonder do women take this for granted? Or the opposite feel they're expected to wear makeup and be feminine acting etc..

Tell me if I'm rambling or if any of this makes any sense as I can't be bothered to read it all back tonight lol

And if any women do read this please answer the few questions i posed

Thanks xx

Davina