Two Sides of Confidence: My Manly Career & Feminine Expression

For over two decades, I’ve worked in a traditionally masculine environment — problem-solving under pressure, leading teams, and staying calm when things go wrong. It’s the kind of work that demands precision, reliability, and confidence.I love what I do, and I’m proud of the impact I’ve had throughout my career.

Most people who know me professionally would describe me as confident. Capable. Maybe even “alpha.” And they’d be right — I thrive on being someone others can rely on. Maybe it’s no coincidence that I’m a fan of The Godfather films — that theme of respect resonates with me deeply.

But there’s a side of me they don’t see.

Away from the problem-solving and responsibility, I sometimes express a very different — yet equally authentic — part of myself through crossdressing, becoming Davina.

Confidence Can Wear High Heels Too

To some, those two identities might seem incompatible:

• a respected man in a leadership role

• and someone who loves to present as a woman

But masculinity isn’t fragile. Strength doesn’t come from hiding what makes you different — it comes from embracing it. And honestly, too much of that old-school toxic masculinity is bad for you.

Davina Is Freedom and Escape

When I crossdress — makeup done, lingerie and hosiery on, dress zipped, wig styled, heels clicking — something inside me unlocks. I feel:✨ relaxed✨ sexier✨ transformed✨ free from the expectations of “male me”

Posting these blogs I sometimes feel I'm repeating myself when I tell all on how I feel so endulge me.

Looking in the mirror and seeing Davina looking back is pure joy as is looking back at photos of Davina when I've been dressed. It’s not a costume or an act. It’s an escape into a softer, lighter, more expressive part of myself that feels alive and real.

The Balance Isn’t Easy

My everyday world is stressful — deadlines, pressure, constant problem-solving, and little room for vulnerability. It’s a space built on tough edges, where self-care feels out of place.

Davina is my space.My release valve.My safe place.My way to breathe.

But being her requires privacy, time, and peace — moments when I won’t be interrupted or judged. Lately, life hasn’t allowed that. As I write this, it’s been over 40 days since I last dressed.

The desire is there.The urge is there.The need is there.The want is there.But the balance is broken.

That invisible tension builds up quietly. I can feel stressed to dangerous levels — even depressed — and no one around me would ever know.

Expression Doesn’t Weaken Achievement

Everything I’ve built in my career still stands strong. The systems, processes, and strategies I’ve helped shape continue to make an impact. I don’t need public credit — I know what I’ve done, and so do those who’ve been around long enough to see it.

Sometimes, when newer colleagues question a method or decision, I let them explain why I might be wrong. Then I calmly show them the reason behind the way we do things. Their surprise when they realise I do know what I’m talking about always makes me smile.

I didn’t just turn up here — I earned my place. I listened. I learned.

And none of that disappears when Davina appears.

If anything, embracing her has given me a deeper understanding of my own strength and balance.

I am:

• a problem-solver

• a thinker

• a learner

• a professional

• a specialist

• and a leader

And sometimes — when I choose — I am also Davina: expressive, feminine, confident, and free.

Both are me.Neither cancels the other.One strengthens the other.Together, they make me whole.

I just wish I had more opportunity to escape…

Davina