DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife was disgusted when she discovered that I cross-dress.
She’s decided to stay with me but wants no part in it.
I have been a cross-dresser since my teens and the urge to transform myself into a female sometimes is still as strong at 50. My wife is 45.
When she was sorting stuff in the loft two years ago she found my female clothing and make-up. She was disgusted.
I do dress up occasionally in private but I worry she will find out.
I just wish I could dress up freely at home and not feel as though I am doing something abnormal
DEIDRE SAYS: I get your longing for acceptance but you weren’t honest with your wife about your cross-dressing before you married.
Some women can accept that their man wants to cross-dress but others are horrified. You cannot force your wife to accept it now but my e-leaflet Worried About Cross-Dressing? will help you explain it to her.
Its a good way to explain it
Escapism Wife changes appearance (that I've got everything I want thing women do for a few years contentment before rediscovering makeup and dresses and heels later on lol) we compensate by dressing
I get all that
Hannah (wife)
You're right Hannah. I cross dressed as a kid to an extent but dating Esme didn't dress.. Then moved in together and curiosity got the better of me so tried on Esme's things but wasn't a regular thing. When life got more stressful I started dressing more well into being married. This agony aunt hasn't a clue as I read so many men suppressing the need to cross dress when in a relationship only to return to it for a variety of reasons.. Stress Escapism Wife changes appearance (that I've got everything I want thing women do for a few years contentment before rediscovering makeup and dresses and heels later on lol) we compensate by dressing Anyway the point is lots of men start after marriage or go back to cross dressing so her advice is not valid. Davina
Oh I can't stand the advice from this agony aunt how could he know that getting wed in years to come he'd still be cross dressing.
Is it true for some it stops when finding a girlfriend or wife that the dressing for the sake of feeling the fem clothes on yourself is dispensation for not feeling them on a woman for some cross dressers?
One of the varied reasons.
Again she misses the point and her advice should be talk and compromise my god shed have all the tgirls wives leave them she should not be giving advice on things she has both empathy or understanding of.
Hannah (wife)
Get her you weren't honest from the beginning.
How many relationships which are amazing wouldn't have happened if from the off he'd have said hi I'm Kevin nice to meet you just to let you know I'm a cross dresser.
Her advice is shocking.
Its another case of just biting the bullet and talking about cross dressing why he does it what he gets from it and agreement to carrot on in private or whatever she can accept
Emma (wife)
DEIDRE SAYS: I get your longing for acceptance but you weren’t honest with your wife about your cross-dressing before you married
Why do people write to this woman on Crossdressing? for my sins i wrote to her once and her reply was useless more or less said i was a pervert and should stop.. You should have told her about your crossdressing before you married??? What difference does that really make... I more or less stopped crossdressing when i was dating and married Esme but it returned as stresses in life grew and circumstances and its bloomin harmless.. I'm lucky Esme accepted my dressing but this sort of advice is not only useless but send the message "You lied to her and shouldnt have got married"
I'm sure wives and Gfs who have accepted crossdressing see some advantages and are better off having a level of control.. I just regret taking Esmes advice and throwing out some of my shorter dresses lol "Classy not Trashy" she tells me :)