DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife was disgusted when she discovered that I cross-dress.

She’s decided to stay with me but wants no part in it.

I have been a cross-dresser since my teens and the urge to transform myself into a female sometimes is still as strong at 50. My wife is 45.

When she was sorting stuff in the loft two years ago she found my female clothing and make-up. She was disgusted.

I do dress up occasionally in private but I worry she will find out.

I just wish I could dress up freely at home and not feel as though I am doing something abnormal

DEIDRE SAYS: I get your longing for acceptance but you weren’t honest with your wife about your cross-dressing before you married.

Some women can accept that their man wants to cross-dress but others are horrified. You cannot force your wife to accept it now but my e-leaflet Worried About Cross-Dressing? will help you explain it to her.