DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife found women’s clothes in my wardrobe and thought I was having an affair.

Now she knows they are mine, she says she feels differently towards me and that she wants to sleep with other guys.

We have been married for eight years. I am 43, my wife is 38. We have two boys aged six and four.

Life was OK but during the past couple of years, we have started to argue and fight over nothing in particular. She says I irritate her.

I have always fantasised about wearing women’s clothes and even wore girls’ panties occasionally in my teens, but I repressed it and thought I had outgrown it when I met my wife.

I’ve had a lot of work pressure this year and my wife wasn’t being sympathetic. I found that wearing women’s clothes when I had the house to myself was very soothing.

Then I got a text from her when I was at work saying she’d decided to have a clearout at home and found the clothes. She asked what the hell I’d been up to.

She moved back to her mum’s for a few days with our sons, but eventually believed me when I said I wasn’t cheating, just enjoyed cross-dressing occasionally.

She came back but nothing was the same. Two of her friends started coming round a lot. She said she’s told them about me and about our sex life, which hasn’t been great lately.

One morning I woke up and she had painted my toe nails. I laughed it off but a couple of days later she bought some hold-up stockings and told me to wear them.

One day we were out shopping and she was buying underwear and asked which panties and bras I liked, saying her friend was having an underwear party

I presumed they were for her but when we go home she said there was no party and the undies were for me as it’s what I am into.

We have grown further apart and now she says she wants to go out with her friends, meet other guys and do her own thing.

I know her friends are behind her attitude, as she listens to them more than me. I don’t know what to do any more.

DEIDRE SAYS: Your wife may feel your cross-dressing is a rejection of her and she is clearly angry.

I know you didn’t mean to deceive her at first but this must have come as a bolt from the blue for her.

Tell her you love her and that your sons need you to work together to resolve this crisis in your marriage.

Arrange to have some couple’s counselling with Relate (relate.org.uk, 0300 100 1234).

My e-leaflet on Cross-dressing Worries will help your wife understand your needs and also explains specialist support.