Led up recovering from Covid watching daytime TV, Lorainne and now This Morning with Holly (yum) and Phil and at the same time chatting to Tgirls and RGs on TVChix..

It's been good the last few days to chat to a range of T Grils and RGs.

A RG from Newzealand who likes chatting with T girls has given some perspective and advice on how she thinks she'd feel as a wife finding out her husband is a crossdresser.

The one thing she did say was she'd test her husbands resolve and maybe not be very nice to him around his dressing. Maybe try to put him off doing it if he was her husband.

The effect on a t girl of this would not be good spiralling guilt I think and self doubt and fear that their wife has taken it so negatively and may leave him over it so came as a bit of a shock to hear this from an accepting woman, but needs to be heard if that's what she thinks would be a reaction of a wife.

Lots of wives to reject crossdressing and don't want to discuss it any further.

I recall Esme bursting into tears and asking was I gay? (not a question I'd figured she'd ask bit of a shock her asking if I was gay actually - I do not fancy men at all) was it her fault I crossdressed? and did I want to be a woman (NO NO NO) and then a few years of burying our heads in the sand eventually plucking up courage to talk about crossdressing we slowly set our limits and rules.

- if you have to dress do it when I'm out and don't leave any evidence was one step on the rung to acceptance.

It was a foot in the door. No amount of times needing to talk about my crossdressing Esme would cut me off changing the subject and here you have two ways to run with that.. drop it or carry on with the discussion as you do need to talk about it yourself and if you like me know it's harmless and just a bit of fun and where you are on the trans spectrum it's worth trying to keep talking about it with your wife / GF.

If lucky like some of the wives / GFs on here they will take the lead as what took us as a couple 8 years to come to resolution took some on here a matter of weeks from telling to girly night in meeting their crossdressed husband.

From a wifes point of view yu bringing up talking about crossdressing may be "oh no here we go again" he wants to talk about crossdressing I've no time for this i don't want to know".

This is where I wish Esme would come back on the Forum to give her thoughts on this or any other wife to comment if this is the case. One thing she used to say was "I don't know what you want me to say"

I've found sometimes its easier to chat to other wives and GFs than to talk to my own it's good to get things off your chest and to talk to others testing the waters of what your wife may think, which is why TVchix chats and forums like this are such a good source for T girls wanting to come out of the closet and for wives to chat to others.

Tgirls and wives / GFs take it from me get it in the open talk about it come to terms with it as it's a phenomena that doesn't go away and the guilt, angst and fear and pain around something so simple isn't worth it.

I've chatted this week to some older t girls who's wives know and are ok with it, wives who help with makeup and styling. Esme has helped me move to classy not trashy lol,

Some of these older t girls are out on the scene with one of the girls having had her first trip out a weekend en fem in Blackpool and is heading back to Blackpool again in a few weeks time. No hassle from anyone accepted in public as a t girl and lots of venues to attend en fem.

We got a taste of this going out as "women" in London where no one paid me any attention or pointed and laughed etc. People in general don't notice or don't care as you're not affecting them.

I'm also regularly chatting to a T girl who's wife's accepting and they like us have girls nights in and have moved to Wales recently.

I enjoy our chats and have chatted to the t girls wife a few times also (I believe both are on here in the Forum). I'm not sure how Esme would feel about it but we've discussed the possibility of us meeting as male and female couples for a coffee or a meal and drink.

Me and Esme need some time away and the destination we'd maybe visit isn't far from where this couple live and I can envisage us chatting away in general a shared secret about us men being t girls. I think it would be good for both wives to have someone to talk to.

But would Esme meet another couple. I can assure her both are very nice people.

I've chatted to other couples on Skype from here when dressed which has been nice.

Maybe if Esme reads this we can talk about a weekend away and meeting up with something in common with us and compare notes on acceptance etc.

Also chatted to a lot of "In the closet" t girls and here's where I hope this forum can help and the t girls and wives here can club together and offer advice to the t girl wanting to confide in wives that they crossdress and support any wives that come in here seeking help and support.

I'm surprised the number of t girls who get pro makeovers without their wives knowing as a means of getting their crossdressing fix and the results are great.

Not something I've ever done but it is on my Tgirl bucket list. A makeover.

I'd love to let a pro makeup artist lose on me to see how convincing I could really look and also to watch how they do my makeup and pick up tips to replicate the makeover.

I think my idea scenario for this would be myself and Esme go for a joint makeover together and we both learn some makeup techniques. I've seen a few locations on line and chatted to the owner of one place in Bath "The Girl Inside" which sounds good but am I brave enough to mention this place to Esme as a possible place we could go for a joint makeover.

Silly really as both talking about my TVchix friends who have moved to Wales and also "The Girl Inside" in Bath we should be past me having any concerns about chatting about crossdressing.

Timing is everything when you need to talk about crossdressing.

Onto writing it down... If you want your wife to accept you dress, then you have to accept why you dress yourself.

Write it down, write down what you like about dressing, why you think you do it, what you get out of it and even when you do when dressed.

Here's mine

- I love women and women who make an effort with makeup, their hair, tights, dresses, skirts heels - My eyes do wander to a woman who's made an effort dressed how I like, tights, heels / boots makeup and hair.. Esme in a dress and black tights and lippy etc and I'm drooling.

- I find i like the feel of tights / stockings on my legs (I think I have a bit of a fetish for black tights on women in particular and love to run my hands up stocking or tights clad legs) This started from about 6 putting on tights as part of a super hero costume (I'll even run hands up my own legs when dressed love the feel of tights especially on my legs).

- I definitely have a thing for sexy matching lingerie and for this I blame "Allo Allo" and Vickie Michelle and the female German officer in stockings, basques and high heels. Marshall Wards, Freemans and Littlewoods clothing catalogues of my mothers when I was a kid and pictures of the models in them in lingerie (guilty my first forage into sexy lingerie was my mothers and that's bad i know) I see on the cloting site Chien that I've looked at in my covid recovery boredom that there are lots of cheap items of sexy lingerie I think I may have to partake in purchasing some lol

- I find it feels nice to wear womens clothing compared to what we have as men, the combination of hosiery, the lingerie a dress etc the fabrics and the feel on me I like.. I like how it feels a lot. How if outside the breeze up my legs the sway of the fabrics.

- I enjoy the transformation from rugged man in jeans and t shirt to putting on makeup, which is something that progressed (in fact until Esme asked to dress me as a woman to see if her mad husband would let her do it I'd not worn makeup) but I now enjoy the foundation, powder, highlight / contour / blush, lippy, lip liner, gloss, eye shaddow, mascara and the smokey eye look seeing my face feminine and then placing on the wig seeing "Davina" appear gone the macho rugged guy and in the mirror looking back someone more feminine and when I get it right passable as a woman. Now when I dress if I cant be fully made up with makeup then I don't crossdress. Wig and makeup is now part of my crossdressing regime.

- New to the list is trying to look passable. A challenge to try to look like a passable woman but leads onto the next reason "Fun"

- Fun all this for me believe it or not is FUN the feel of clothing, how I can look, the attempts at makeup it just find the whole transformation a bit of fun and then being able to just relax crossdressed is well ....FUN!!

- A turn on. This is the one wives will say "Oh here it is" but it's something since first crossdressing in lingerie etc has always turned me on and got me off.

Yes I've masturbated a lot when crossdressed over the years, but it's not sexual it's some euphoric feeling at times when younger especially of wearing something sexy and naughty and I've got off on it.

If i was dressed now I've no doubt I'd just feel relaxed which is my next point more than Wow I'm dressed I must get off on it.

- Relaxing and Theraputic.. No answer why but when I crossdress fully and for me as mentioned above its "all or nothing" I can't nowadays just try something on.

It has to be makeup wig heels the lot it's pure escapism from male me, not like Davina is some schizophrenic split personality but i do split "Davina" in a way apart from the macho man as someone I can become a character a "name" for reference and in some way ....Esme has said I'm nicer when I'm "Davina" so i must be different when I dress.

- Sexy - I think I look ok what I'm wearing are things my idealised woman would wear, red lips the eyshaddow etc I feel sexy as Davina which I don't really feel as a bloke. How can I? I don't fancy men so have no idea where I am looks wise as a bloke and a bit body conscious in my 40s I need to diet and get back in shape then maybe I'll feel sexy as a bloke (I need to commit myself to diet and fitness when i feel healthier and stick to it for my own good) but I definitely feel sexy when I'm Davina, the control wear, stockings heels etc.

- Escapism it is my escape from male life temporarily and from the stress of male life that i largely create myself putting pressure on myself to "be the best i can be" and have people think positively about me..

I'm still me when I dress, but I'm in character I'm not worrying about work or how people perceive me etc

What do I do when dressed? We'll as my only opportunity is when working from home.. I'm sat at my desk crossdressed working. If i wasn't working I'd just be doing normal things, housework, watching TV etc.

The thrill of being out dressed in London was great until I twisted my knee and I would escape the house again some time and be dressed outside "just to be outside" but away from home so no one we know finds out.

I know Esme doesn't like the thought of me being out as Davina and has said that's not for her and for me would be just a bit of a thrill thing. Maybe we could try Blackpool a weekend away with me dressed a location where crossdressing is pretty normal and ignored it may be fun who knows. Not my decision to make as Esme would have to be comfortable with it but would probably be a better idea than an NFL weekend in Wembley going out in quite Ethnic Wembley dressed as a woman lol - What a risk that may have been.

We need some husband and wife time away together let alone me being out with Esme as Davina.. See I'm already un-justifying it as an idea.

I think that's my Crossdressing summed up Escapism from male life for a while and I find it fun.. Harmless... In fact but very beneficial to my mental health.

I know if you're a new wife reading this you may say "Man up"... That's part of the problem we're told all our lives to "Man up!!" maybe we should be told to "Woman up!!" more often and chill out.

Wives will also no doubt say ok so you crossdress and it helps your mental health but what about me? I'm a mum, I work, I do the dishes, cooking, cleaning etc etc and you're right men run the world men have everything why does a man need to present as a Woman and take that away from us too??.. This was mentioned in TVChix chat this week by an RG.

I don't know what to say to this other than in modern relationships men and women with families need to share responsibilities, share chores etc and the more you can do together the better in terms of "dating", laughing, sex life, hugging, kissing, affection, having things you do together and enjoy together and I'm going to say it crossdressing is something you can have together, share together and enjoy together..

Easy for me to say but there are enough accepting wives and GFs who will contest it is better to embrace and be part of crossdressing than to bury your head in the sand ignore or worry about it or argue about it or guilt trip one another about it.

So if you are thinking of telling your wife as I've done write it down get it right in your own head why you dress you can't expect your wife / GF to accept crossdressing if you can't accept it yourself.. don't feel guilty about it that's a waste of time ask yourself do you enjoy it and does it do any harm and if the answer is positive there you go.

All easy for me to say isn't it as Esme accepts my crossdressing but we went through the mill over 8 years until we found our level of acceptance to the point where we can talk openly about crossdressing and Esme being ok seeing me dressed.

As you can see I still have some hang ups, I still worry about what Esme thinks about my crossdressing and still have some bucket list things I'd like to do as Davina. I suppose I need to take my own advice and talk to Esme about my bucket lists.

It's worth it if you can get here and find acceptance and find where you are on the trans spectrum.

Looking forward to more chats on TVChix.. and Good luck to anyone looking to come out to a wife or a GF.

Davina