By: Sindy
Subject: Carrying on with questions...
Moving on from the sexuality chat but with this new info embedded in our future conversations (seriously, as a wife it's rather difficult to move on from the fact that many crossdressers lust after each other!), I figured it was time for some more questions. :)
Here goes.
1) Do you, as a crossdresser, think you have a distorted sense of reality, either about dressing or other issues? I ask this because there are times my entirely logical, intelligent husband will say something, usually related to women or dressing, that leaves me shaking my head. One example is my husband lamenting that women get all the sexual attention at work and this isn't fair as they get promoted more. Like, wtf?? Getting ogled at work is depressing and wrong and would leave many women feeling harassed, yet he STILL didn't see the downside. My feeling is he has a distorted view on life as a woman, and this is partly why he started dressing in the first place.
Or maybe I'm totally off base...
But I can't help linking the two as he dresses for stress release and sexual urge and the girl he dresses like are the kind of girls he would ogle inappropriately. It's almost like he's jealous that women get this type of attention and wanted it for himself...but wow, that seems like a distorted view to have.
Thoughts?
2) Would you, the male, feel insulted if someone you knew came to the conclusion that you're only half a man for being a crossdresser, or would this make you feel happy? I often see online a huge dick showing fest as to who is more 'girly' (excuse the language but that's ironically what it seems like lol), and it seems plenty would get off on having their masculinity questioned. Case in point - being called Ma'am when looking like a guy - this seems to make crossdressers everywhere squeal in delight. Yet, if someone called me Sir while I was walking the grocery store I'd go home and drink a bottle of vodka in depression. You could almost say this scenario could be linked to the distorted view of question one?
And I want honest answers here. I want the primal response you feel, not the one you think you should feel. If someone ma'amed you at work or at the store when you're just usual guy self, would you secretly get a kick out of it? Or would you feel offended and even angry?
There, two more questions to puzzle over. I look forward to the responses. x
By: Sindy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Carrying on with questions...
I completely agree that crossdressing is just that and doesn't make a man anything else. It's the men who seem to think it makes them something else - submissive, girly, straight female when dressed (yeah, right) etc etc. That's the big distortion. I just wonder if they ever realize it's distorted.
By: Katie
Subject: Re: Re: Carrying on with questions...
I'm with Davina on this one.
Trying to associate crossdressing with other traits just doesn't work for me. I used to think that being a crossdresser made me more considerate to women, a better father etc but I was just kidding myself. Crossdressing has nothing to do with it, it's just who I am. I'd still be considerate to women and a good father even if I wasn't a crossdresser the same a plenty of other men who aren't crossdressers. Don't try and over analyse.
Crossdressing is just a small part of who I am and I don't see it leaching into parts of my other life. I don't discuss it with my wife and there is never any evidence that I might be a crossdresser so to her I'm exactly the same person as she married all these years ago. If crossdressing was a constant then it might create certain traits but is changes as we develop and grow older going through different intensities and reasons.
If somebody called me madam whilst dressed as a man I'd think they were taking the piss. As my wife said 'I'd be the last person she thought was a crossdresser'. I guess we hide it by swinging the opposite way so little chance of feminine mannerisms when not dressed.
By: Sindy
Subject: Re: Re: Carrying on with questions...
Haha, yep that's the response I would expect from most men being ma'amed in public but you wouldn't believe the amount of hype on cross dressing sites that find this a milestone. Personally I fail to see how you've accomplished anything as a crossdresser if you've succeeded in removing your masculinity ...that's transsexualism not crossdressing. But hey, just like the bisexual side of all this, I'm starting to see that for some men, this whole cross dressing biz can take them to some pretty weird places and this almost seems like another fetish boundary to cross. Who knows...I'm not a crossdresser, thank god!
And the distorted view...well maybe my husband is like you and doesn't get why we don't take more advantage of our looks, that does make sense. I do suspect there's a subset of very confused men crossdressing out there though, and they're the ones hoping to be called ma'am in 'drab' and who deny their obvious bisexuality. I wonder whether it's distorted though, or just different, and it becomes a bit skewed with all the secrecy and hiding? If a person doesn't have society reflecting their behavior back at them, does it become distorted?
I think it can. I think this happens to many people. Not just cross dressers. Ah, the questions I have to unravel here lol.
By: Davina
Subject: Re: Carrying on with questions...
No I don't have a distorted sense of reality about dressing or other issues - I'm a man who likes to crossdress I don't pretend t be anything else and think I'm intelligent and focussed enough to have a real sense of reality in that there are more serious things in this world to worry and ponder over than me dressing as a woman and oggling my legs in the mirror.
Lamenting that women get all the sexual attention at work and this isn't fair is something I've never pondered but have sometimes thought it's easer for women to ogle and talk about men in work than it would be for a man or bunch of men to talk about a woman in work.. I've had giggleing women ogle me in the office obviously looking at my bum or firting.. But I wouldn't say that women get promoted more.
I can see how a woman would get dolled up for an interview but I had the opposite for my first promotion interviewed by two women I turned up in a suit and tie one woman has on a short dress, black tights and heels very attractive with nice legs and the other also quite attractive had a dress on heels and a very low cut top and I did not know where to look during the interview... so I hypnotised them with my green eyes and long eye lashes and got the job... and got a company car thrown into the deal HA!
Like your husband I dress for stress release and after 2 weeks of audits I could do with some Davina escapism and I also feel sexy and have the sexual urge or rather feel horny when dressed although this dies down after a while as I relax.
I suppose I dress how I like women to dress and do my makeup how I like women to have their makeup
I'm not jealous that women get this type of attention but more confused why women dnt always dress to look their best and do their makeup to look their best all the time as as a man I always try to look my best every day.. Noticed today as I have the facial hair back the girl on the till in Tesco flirting with me and giggling.. I do look better as a bloke with the face hair (still shaved chest tho) but Davina has to be clean shaven so next time I dress my wife will know as the face will be clean shaven again..
Would I, the male, feel insulted if someone I knew came to the conclusion that I'm only half a man for being a crossdresser, - I would rip their ruddy head off at any suggestion that I'm not all man!!
See above I'm intelligent and have my own mind and as far as I'm concerned I'm more of a man than most men even though I crossdress.. so It would not make me happy at all if someone even suggested I'm not all Man.
If someone called me Maam or Miss when I'm in man mode id be like WTF!!!
There is no way on Earth or any other planet anyone would think male me was a woman lol - But if I was crossdressed and called miss or Maam I'd be chuffed to pull off the look and convince someone i'm a woman lol.