She's finally here after a few hours discussing Crossdressing last night my wifes signed up on here as Davinawife.. Now Maybe Emma and Rebecca will stop nagging me lol.
I just buried my head in the sand and was like if I don’t see or mention it , it’s not real.
I did get better and would be ok coming home in my lunch break and see him dressed and accepted he wasn’t gay, it was just something he needed to do to unwind. Can’t say I still fully understand why but that’s ok.
We are planning a girls night in , get dressed up , meal movie and drinks, small steps.
Yes I have a good one and it’s nice to see his blogs have helped both wife’s and cross dressers.
I think that maybe my wife is OK with my crossdressing. I think she just puts it to the back of her mind as it's not really that important to her. As you say life is hectic and with two teenage sons it's pretty full on.
Sometimes I wonder if it's not me being selfish in wanting more. I keep prodding and poking to get a reaction and then clam up if she says anything. I guess in someway I can't understand her complete disinterest - but then again I have other interest which she's show little or no complusion to be involved with. Maybe she's just at a point where she knows enough to satisfy herself that I'm not gay, I don't want to live as a woman and as it doesn't affect her in anyway she's happy to leave it at that.
She's really loving and supportive of me and I coudln't ask for more. It's just I have this nagging feeling that won't go away. I know everyone is right, that I shoudl just grit my teeth but it never seems the right time. I guess the letters are a bit of a cop out as it puts the ball in her court.
Great to have you here. Yes, I'm the keeper of reality here haha. Can't let these men disappear in a cloud if pink fog or no one will be able to live with them. I've known a long time about my husband but I'd guess I'm in the same age bracket as you and Davina. In the middle of raising young kids and life is basically chaos etc. My husband didn't tell me the entire truth though and I discovered what crossdressing is really about after a few years of marriage. So that wasn't easy.
I guess I'm now stuck in the tolerate/accept stage but I don't want any involvement. I'm impressed you were able to buy wigs etc. I don't like seeing my husband in a wig. It weirds me totally out! But he always says I'm just very straight while he's obviously kinky and he does seem to understand now why I find it so difficult. I can't see the man below the wig etc. It seems to affect my attraction to him the rest of the time, if that makes sense. I try working on it but no luck so far.
Anyway, I hope you do stay and chat here. I keep this place to myself because it's my sanity having a venting area that doesn't include my husband. He knows I'll talk about something if it bothers me. I have verbal diarrhoea that way haha. I wish I could share some of it with Katie's wife as I think she's struggling to discuss the crossdressing with him.
Katie, that's actually quite interesting that you took the time to write a letter, and your wife ignored the crossdressing parts. She's obviously in a bit of turmoil about the situation but maybe doesn't want to hurt you by voicing it? Could you somehow reassure her that you won't be offended (even if you are!) if she has something bothering her? I just worry that she's a bit stressed about it and has shut down communication. I did that for years and it almost made me physically sick. I know she's a very chilled person from what you've described, and maybe she really doesn't have any thoughts about it, but surely if she was completely comfortable with the crossdressing she'd at least acknowledge it in the letter, even if it's just to tell you she understands. You know? Please keep us updated as this must be a bit confusing and frustrating.
Oh, and Esme, your hubby is definitely a role model crossdresser. Hence the 'Davina Dresser' being our code name for the good ones. I definitely use his behaviour to gauge whether my own husband needs a kick up the butt or reminding that he's out of line. Luckily I think they're actually at very similiar levels. But I do think the Davina Dresser is not a problem in a relationship, whereas there are plenty of crossdressing men who are obsessive and selfish and make terrible partners. If any of them stumble onto our wee forum, it gives us a chance to kick them up the butt, too, on behalf of their wife and women everywhere lol.
I worked from home today and typical a delivery 11-12 and one of the wigs arrived yesterday a darker one with blonde highlights.
So put minimal makeup in and dressed 0930 ish just to see how it looked.
Makes my old wig look naff.
Parcel arrived at 11:10 so got dressed and fully made up after that weird how quickly you forget how to do your makeup after a few months but looked ok.
Shown my wife a pic and she said I looked ok and nice comments on tvchix so far as I made it my new profile pic.
Makes me look so different compared to the dumb blonde look lol.
My wife this morning said get dressed and when the delivery comes answer the door as Davina... not sure if she was joking or not lol
Good for me to read some of this and see my wife's thoughts and feelings and no pressure to do anything youre uncomfortable with just to please me just glad you're ok with me dressing.
And she said she had no idea what to type lol and what's typed is perfect xxx.
Katie been where you are there is no right time to talk grit teeth and say the letter I wrote we discussed one part but not the other but id like to talk a out it if that's ok.
I'm really careful to leave no signs. My MI5 training lol. I don't often wear make up and if I do I'll always shower after so no panda eyes.
I haven't told her about this site. We've never talked enough to even get to this stage. I downloaded Savannah's book and told her should could read it if she wanted to. She's never asked.
I just think she puts it all to the back her mind. Maybe it's my fault for not talking about it but I've always had this fear about rocking the boat. Probably nothing to worry about it's just I think that maybe it ruins a good mood so why bother. And if she's not in a good mood ...well.
I think talking to the other wives will help you. They've all had a few wobbles. I'm sure that Sindy will be on before long and she doesn't mince her word. It's great to have her around to ground us all at times. She's probably lived with it for longer than most of us (knowing about her husband - I'm not trying to make her seem old!) so always good to get a different perspective.
The advice always seem sto be take your time. I get the impression that Sindy rushed in with both feet and it left her hurt. She does have the occassional head spin so we can all learn.
I can remember after Davina telling me about him Crossdressing I would come home and I would be able to tell he had dressed up due to panda eyes lol and I did resent him and my mood would change. I didn’t give it a thought to Davina and how my behaviour would effect him. It must be pretty hurtful.
I did read some of the other wife’s blogs about how they have accepted and embraced it and can be physical with their partners and have fun and enjoy it and seeing some of Davinas comments I did feel sad and guilty.
Does your wife know about this web site. It may help her.
It is hard and I understand how she feels, I wouldn't confide in anyone as I didn’t want them to know. So we have a lot of emotions and anger and frustrations that we can’t do anything with.
Fingers crossed your wife will fully accept it soon.
Married 25 years today so obviously doing something right!
I think my wife is in the same boat as you but not as far down the line as you. She's never seen me dressed and any time I try and raise the subject it's shut down.
I wrote her a letter the other day (I find it easier to express how I feel in writing) as she'd picked up that I wasn't quite myself. A lot of sress through work. Anyway I covered about how I felt work wise and about my crossdressing in the letter. Explained how it helped. She read the letter and only talked about the work issues. Not a mention of crossdressing. It's frustrating but I need to give her time. Been over 4 years now.
Thank you for your comments, some good points made.
It is down to me to overcome my issues/feelings/insecurities and hopefully in time these will change/disappear and like you say no one else is judging me . (other than myself if that makes sense. )
I haven’t really spoke to anyone about davina Crossdressing, did come on for here for a while but I don’t think it was the right time or my cup of tea. But it’s something that’s not gonna go away and davina shouldn’t have to change or feel guilty for doing it.
Maybe now being on here is the right time and talking to others will help. It is lovely to see other wife’s have accepted it and also embraced it. Hopefully I will to eventually, who knows.
Welcome back I'm glad you've decided to start posting again. We've not spoken before but I'm sure you've seen my posts so have a good idea who I am! Wives definitely outnumbering the crossdressers now!
I think you shoud get yourself a 'porn handle' like Sindy. Much better than being known a Davina's wife!
I get that you might not find Davina sexually attractive when you see him as Davina. Everyone finds different things and people attractive. There are plenty of women I don't find sexually attractive but I don't think that if you did find him attractive as Davina it would make you a lesbian. He's not the same sex. He's just expressing a side of himself.
There is a couple in our road. Both female but one presents permanently as male. Hair cut, clothes, mannerisms etc. I always wonder if they consider themselves as lesbians or a hetrosexual couple. They act like a hetrosexual couple. So if one is attracted to masculinity why does she not want to be with a man?
Gender and sexuality are separate but can be intertwined. You have a conflict, you know he's a man but he looks like a woman. You find it hard to see past the clothes. I guess the little steps are seeing past the clothes to the man in front of you. It's never going to be an easy journey, I think that Sindy has stumbled on the way but Emma, Rebecca and Hannah have all over come those fear. I guess the point is that nobody is going to judge you in the privacy of your own home. As Sindy says what goes on between to consenting adults is fine as long as both are comfortable (and it's legal!). It's your secret and the only people judging are yourselves. I guess that why Emma, Rebecca and Hannah have let themselves go - a bit of harmless fun between to consenting adults.
I have no issue with him cross dressing and we have had the odd girls night in(not as many as he’d like I’m sure ) but nothing physical when he’s dressed. Like you mentioned I can’t get my head past he’s dressed as a woman, I don’t fancy woman and kissing him with lipstick on freaks me out a bit. Maybe it’s a case of baby steps, get used to kissing him first.
I want to make him happy more than anything. We sat and looked for new wigs Sunday evening 😂. And ordered 2 for davina.
Yay he finally plucked up the courage and got you to join in.
Brill, do you remember we messaged a long time ago on the blog on the wife’s guestbook.
A lot has gone on since then in terms of my acceptance of my other half dressing and great to read that you’re backing him 100%
What aspects still bother you?
This is what this Forum is all about and yes he can read what you type my other half reads all this but I don’t allow him to join as it’s my bit of sanity as although I fully accept it we all have wobbles of doubt from time to time now he will ask me what wobbles of doubt.
But really we’ve had a lot of fun with his dressing and it’s also made me assess myself and make more of an effort in the way I dress.
We’ve even discovered new makeup techniques together via the power of YouTube which has made him look more convincing using contouring.
Anyway I’m rabbiting on fab to have you here hope you enjoy chatting here as much as I do.
You have a fab husband we’ve even coined what he does as the Davina crossdresser a safe croasdresser lol.
I will give her the heads up you're asking where she is but not been on so long will never catch up
Where are you Esme?
Glad you're here Davina wife have fun with it he seems a nice guy / girl nothing to worry about just have fun and relax.
Any thing you need to talk about just put it on here even if he can read it you can both benefit from others answers.
And go on give him a kiss as her he doesn't bite does he? Hehe
Hanna (wife)
Almost 2 years
Glad you're doing ok and planning a girly night in
Emma (wife)
Hi Emma and Hannah
Thank you for the welcome ladies.
Hannah we ordered the wigs of eBay, lots of choice, colours , length etc.
How long of each of you know about your husbands cross dressing.?
Thanks esme x
Hi sindy
Thank you for the welcome,
It was hard at first,
I just buried my head in the sand and was like if I don’t see or mention it , it’s not real.
I did get better and would be ok coming home in my lunch break and see him dressed and accepted he wasn’t gay, it was just something he needed to do to unwind. Can’t say I still fully understand why but that’s ok.
We are planning a girls night in , get dressed up , meal movie and drinks, small steps.
Yes I have a good one and it’s nice to see his blogs have helped both wife’s and cross dressers.
Thanks esme 😊
Hi all,
Doing good thanks, reading all your blogs, stories etc as definitely helped. Girls night planned for a Friday in December. Earliest we can do lol.
Plan on meal movie and drinks.
Davina looked good in new wig, darker colour suited him.
Esme 😀
The wife's ok told me to sort baby sitters 15th December for girls night in .
Such a busy few weeks up to the new year
DavibDavibaDavina
Me too Sindy x
Hope Davina wife still ok
Rebecca (wife)
I enjoy your posts too Sindy
Emma (wife)
Hi Sindy I love reading your posts make sure I don't go off into that pink fog lol.
Katie I've been where you are and thought the same and my wife's been where your wife is too.
Coming here has helped my wife to read other wives views with the wives taking over the last few weeks.
I hope other t girls reading here are finding some of thisbchatter helpful.
Have a good weekend all.
Davina
Hi Sindy
I think that maybe my wife is OK with my crossdressing. I think she just puts it to the back of her mind as it's not really that important to her. As you say life is hectic and with two teenage sons it's pretty full on.
Sometimes I wonder if it's not me being selfish in wanting more. I keep prodding and poking to get a reaction and then clam up if she says anything. I guess in someway I can't understand her complete disinterest - but then again I have other interest which she's show little or no complusion to be involved with. Maybe she's just at a point where she knows enough to satisfy herself that I'm not gay, I don't want to live as a woman and as it doesn't affect her in anyway she's happy to leave it at that.
She's really loving and supportive of me and I coudln't ask for more. It's just I have this nagging feeling that won't go away. I know everyone is right, that I shoudl just grit my teeth but it never seems the right time. I guess the letters are a bit of a cop out as it puts the ball in her court.
I know what I need to do - I'll keep you posted.
Katie
Hi Davina's wife! (Esme)
Great to have you here. Yes, I'm the keeper of reality here haha. Can't let these men disappear in a cloud if pink fog or no one will be able to live with them. I've known a long time about my husband but I'd guess I'm in the same age bracket as you and Davina. In the middle of raising young kids and life is basically chaos etc. My husband didn't tell me the entire truth though and I discovered what crossdressing is really about after a few years of marriage. So that wasn't easy.
I guess I'm now stuck in the tolerate/accept stage but I don't want any involvement. I'm impressed you were able to buy wigs etc. I don't like seeing my husband in a wig. It weirds me totally out! But he always says I'm just very straight while he's obviously kinky and he does seem to understand now why I find it so difficult. I can't see the man below the wig etc. It seems to affect my attraction to him the rest of the time, if that makes sense. I try working on it but no luck so far.
Anyway, I hope you do stay and chat here. I keep this place to myself because it's my sanity having a venting area that doesn't include my husband. He knows I'll talk about something if it bothers me. I have verbal diarrhoea that way haha. I wish I could share some of it with Katie's wife as I think she's struggling to discuss the crossdressing with him.
Katie, that's actually quite interesting that you took the time to write a letter, and your wife ignored the crossdressing parts. She's obviously in a bit of turmoil about the situation but maybe doesn't want to hurt you by voicing it? Could you somehow reassure her that you won't be offended (even if you are!) if she has something bothering her? I just worry that she's a bit stressed about it and has shut down communication. I did that for years and it almost made me physically sick. I know she's a very chilled person from what you've described, and maybe she really doesn't have any thoughts about it, but surely if she was completely comfortable with the crossdressing she'd at least acknowledge it in the letter, even if it's just to tell you she understands. You know? Please keep us updated as this must be a bit confusing and frustrating.
Oh, and Esme, your hubby is definitely a role model crossdresser. Hence the 'Davina Dresser' being our code name for the good ones. I definitely use his behaviour to gauge whether my own husband needs a kick up the butt or reminding that he's out of line. Luckily I think they're actually at very similiar levels. But I do think the Davina Dresser is not a problem in a relationship, whereas there are plenty of crossdressing men who are obsessive and selfish and make terrible partners. If any of them stumble onto our wee forum, it gives us a chance to kick them up the butt, too, on behalf of their wife and women everywhere lol.
Nice to finally have you here. :-) x
No way to answering the door nosey neighbours
Mrs Davina is great reading what you mad women have typed has helped her thanks all for welcoming her
No plan for the girls night in yet have fun yourselves tho tonight
Davina
You should have answered the door as Davina what a story that would be to read here lol.
How's Mrs Davina doing?
Planned that girls night in yet?
We've got one tonight planned I got half day so popped in here and have picked him out something to wear tonight.
Planning on dinner, movie and wine.
Lots to catch up with in here today as wasn't here yesterday.
Emma (wife)
Where you get the wigs from?
Hubby needs a new one and Christmas is coming
Hannah (wife)
I worked from home today and typical a delivery 11-12 and one of the wigs arrived yesterday a darker one with blonde highlights.
So put minimal makeup in and dressed 0930 ish just to see how it looked.
Makes my old wig look naff.
Parcel arrived at 11:10 so got dressed and fully made up after that weird how quickly you forget how to do your makeup after a few months but looked ok.
Shown my wife a pic and she said I looked ok and nice comments on tvchix so far as I made it my new profile pic.
Makes me look so different compared to the dumb blonde look lol.
My wife this morning said get dressed and when the delivery comes answer the door as Davina... not sure if she was joking or not lol
Davina
Wow you bought him 2 wigs lol I bet he can't wait to try them on have you seen them when they have something new to try on they can't wait.
If you want to try things little steps a kiss and see how you feel but don't go out of your comfort zone hon.
And Katie need the advice and just talk or you'll never know and she will just keep ignoring it.
Emma (wife)
Hi Davina wife I'm another accepting wife on here nice to see you here.
Katie sit her down cup of tea and discuss the parts of the letter she avoided.
Hannah (wife)
Fab to have you here Davina wife
Katie Davina is right she ignored the crossdressing bit and it will eat you up inside unless you talk about it.
Bring her in here it's a safe place.
Rebecca (wife)
Good for me to read some of this and see my wife's thoughts and feelings and no pressure to do anything youre uncomfortable with just to please me just glad you're ok with me dressing.
And she said she had no idea what to type lol and what's typed is perfect xxx.
Katie been where you are there is no right time to talk grit teeth and say the letter I wrote we discussed one part but not the other but id like to talk a out it if that's ok.
Davina
Hi Esme
I'm really careful to leave no signs. My MI5 training lol. I don't often wear make up and if I do I'll always shower after so no panda eyes.
I haven't told her about this site. We've never talked enough to even get to this stage. I downloaded Savannah's book and told her should could read it if she wanted to. She's never asked.
I just think she puts it all to the back her mind. Maybe it's my fault for not talking about it but I've always had this fear about rocking the boat. Probably nothing to worry about it's just I think that maybe it ruins a good mood so why bother. And if she's not in a good mood ...well.
I think talking to the other wives will help you. They've all had a few wobbles. I'm sure that Sindy will be on before long and she doesn't mince her word. It's great to have her around to ground us all at times. She's probably lived with it for longer than most of us (knowing about her husband - I'm not trying to make her seem old!) so always good to get a different perspective.
The advice always seem sto be take your time. I get the impression that Sindy rushed in with both feet and it left her hurt. She does have the occassional head spin so we can all learn.
Katie
Hi Katie
Wow 25 years.
I can remember after Davina telling me about him Crossdressing I would come home and I would be able to tell he had dressed up due to panda eyes lol and I did resent him and my mood would change. I didn’t give it a thought to Davina and how my behaviour would effect him. It must be pretty hurtful.
I did read some of the other wife’s blogs about how they have accepted and embraced it and can be physical with their partners and have fun and enjoy it and seeing some of Davinas comments I did feel sad and guilty.
Does your wife know about this web site. It may help her.
It is hard and I understand how she feels, I wouldn't confide in anyone as I didn’t want them to know. So we have a lot of emotions and anger and frustrations that we can’t do anything with.
Fingers crossed your wife will fully accept it soon.
Esme
Hi Esme
Married 25 years today so obviously doing something right!
I think my wife is in the same boat as you but not as far down the line as you. She's never seen me dressed and any time I try and raise the subject it's shut down.
I wrote her a letter the other day (I find it easier to express how I feel in writing) as she'd picked up that I wasn't quite myself. A lot of sress through work. Anyway I covered about how I felt work wise and about my crossdressing in the letter. Explained how it helped. She read the letter and only talked about the work issues. Not a mention of crossdressing. It's frustrating but I need to give her time. Been over 4 years now.
Katie
Hi Katie
Nice to speak to you. Hope all is good with you.
Thank you for your comments, some good points made.
It is down to me to overcome my issues/feelings/insecurities and hopefully in time these will change/disappear and like you say no one else is judging me . (other than myself if that makes sense. )
I haven’t really spoke to anyone about davina Crossdressing, did come on for here for a while but I don’t think it was the right time or my cup of tea. But it’s something that’s not gonna go away and davina shouldn’t have to change or feel guilty for doing it.
Maybe now being on here is the right time and talking to others will help. It is lovely to see other wife’s have accepted it and also embraced it. Hopefully I will to eventually, who knows.
Thank you
Esme 😀
Hi Davinawife
Welcome back I'm glad you've decided to start posting again. We've not spoken before but I'm sure you've seen my posts so have a good idea who I am! Wives definitely outnumbering the crossdressers now!
I think you shoud get yourself a 'porn handle' like Sindy. Much better than being known a Davina's wife!
I get that you might not find Davina sexually attractive when you see him as Davina. Everyone finds different things and people attractive. There are plenty of women I don't find sexually attractive but I don't think that if you did find him attractive as Davina it would make you a lesbian. He's not the same sex. He's just expressing a side of himself.
There is a couple in our road. Both female but one presents permanently as male. Hair cut, clothes, mannerisms etc. I always wonder if they consider themselves as lesbians or a hetrosexual couple. They act like a hetrosexual couple. So if one is attracted to masculinity why does she not want to be with a man?
Gender and sexuality are separate but can be intertwined. You have a conflict, you know he's a man but he looks like a woman. You find it hard to see past the clothes. I guess the little steps are seeing past the clothes to the man in front of you. It's never going to be an easy journey, I think that Sindy has stumbled on the way but Emma, Rebecca and Hannah have all over come those fear. I guess the point is that nobody is going to judge you in the privacy of your own home. As Sindy says what goes on between to consenting adults is fine as long as both are comfortable (and it's legal!). It's your secret and the only people judging are yourselves. I guess that why Emma, Rebecca and Hannah have let themselves go - a bit of harmless fun between to consenting adults.
Katie
Hi Emma
I have no issue with him cross dressing and we have had the odd girls night in(not as many as he’d like I’m sure ) but nothing physical when he’s dressed. Like you mentioned I can’t get my head past he’s dressed as a woman, I don’t fancy woman and kissing him with lipstick on freaks me out a bit. Maybe it’s a case of baby steps, get used to kissing him first.
I want to make him happy more than anything. We sat and looked for new wigs Sunday evening 😂. And ordered 2 for davina.
Off to work so will post a bit more later
Thanks esme x
Yay he finally plucked up the courage and got you to join in.
Brill, do you remember we messaged a long time ago on the blog on the wife’s guestbook.
A lot has gone on since then in terms of my acceptance of my other half dressing and great to read that you’re backing him 100%
What aspects still bother you?
This is what this Forum is all about and yes he can read what you type my other half reads all this but I don’t allow him to join as it’s my bit of sanity as although I fully accept it we all have wobbles of doubt from time to time now he will ask me what wobbles of doubt.
But really we’ve had a lot of fun with his dressing and it’s also made me assess myself and make more of an effort in the way I dress.
We’ve even discovered new makeup techniques together via the power of YouTube which has made him look more convincing using contouring.
Anyway I’m rabbiting on fab to have you here hope you enjoy chatting here as much as I do.
You have a fab husband we’ve even coined what he does as the Davina crossdresser a safe croasdresser lol.
Emma (Wife)
Hi just been reading some of the blogs, interesting reading😀 its good that they have the support of us wives.
I support him fully and wouldn't be with out him.
I do still struggle with a few things but who knows talking on here may help.