One of many good threads on here useful to tgirls and wives and girlfriends.

Emma (wife)

Hi anonymous keeping your anonymity are you a tgirl/cross dresser or a wife/girlfriend? Davina

Thanks for sharing this wonderful article. Google

By: Katie

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Question for wives....

The older crossdresser is a question in it's own right. How do you grow old gracefully? Not only will there logistical problems - how do you walk in heels with a dodgy hip and knee, can I bend down far enough to pull on a pair of tights - but also style.

As you know we're pretty set in our ways and I'd hate to look like mutton dressed as lamb. There are older ladies who manage to carry off sexy by being refined. I don't think I'd ever go for Nora Batty look along with shopping trolley. It just wouldn't tick all the boxes! It'd have to more of the Helen Mirren look.

Eventually I guess it'll just all be too difficult and the who knows!

By: Hannah RG

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Question for wives....

I accepted this side of him over time.

It's our secret.

It has been upsetting but has turned out to be fun.

Like Davinas wife says they're different when dressed maybe more vulnerable I've gone from freaks out to oh he's dressed again so what.

I agree I wouldn't want to drive him out of the house to dress we couldn't afford a hotel room just for him to dress and my husband agrees with Davina about the sexual side which can creep in to chat and these things they call meets.

Luckily like Sindy I trust my man he's very decent and respectful of my feelings.

So why not its not like its every day or every weekend its occassional and sometimes I've even said you look stressed do you need a little she time lol sound funny.

By: Davina

Subject: Re: Re: Question for wives....

You've had a warp speed acceptance Emma and sounds like your husband / bf is a lucky fella and sounds like Crossdressing has had a positive effect on you which is fab news for me and one of the reasons I started the blog to let people see crossdressing isn't always a bad worrying thing.

By: Davina

Subject: Re: Re: Question for wives....

Katie

I chat in TVchix mainly in the general room or girls only the least frequented chat rooms, I don't chat to Tgirls in any other websites.

TVChix can be read as a dating site but its so much more as it is a good source for support and you can have some good chatter there about anything and a lot of laughs.

See my reply to Hannah above.

I don't know any Tgirl sites that don't have an element of a sexual nature.

I joined Birchplace but left as its purely a meat market for people wanting to meet.

So TV chix being the mildest site I've found there is still the element of sex chat and in researching for my blog to give as full an opinion and honest answers to any RGs who come on here I chat to anyone on TVChix including admirers.

There are admirers - some of them just want to chat but some are just after a cheap thrill with a "tranny" but I'm not a proper Tranny lol I don't do that.. Likewise there are T girls after a cheap thrill cyber sex or looking to meet..

I prefer to talk sport.

I still find a lot of crossdressers who merely crossdress want to chat about sex and try to initiate cyber sex.

The question "Are you Bisexual" can crop up in a conversation out of the blue..

So I don't think it skews my findings as its harder to find a normal chat than it is a "sex" chat.. Not what the wives want to read but its true so be greatful if your crossdresser is the "Davina type"

There are several regionalised meet rooms and a fantasy room but only really 2 social rooms in TV Chix where you can find me if the wife is watching rubbish on tv some nights.

There is a lot of chat about acceptance and wives and how to talk to them etc. I chat about about sport and politics.

My little warning about Sindys husband dressing in hotels is from chatting to tgirls who dress in hotels when away with work .. I was in a hotel the other day and mentioned so in a chat room and was inundated with "where are you, what hotel can I come and visit"... No thanks

On asking why the answers were for sex.

Sindy is confident her husband is not looking for cheap thrills and sexual meets so I guess shes ok with her husband merely going to a hotel for crossdressing in solitude.

Ive chatted to lots of tgirls who never intended cheating on their wives (I wouldn't say a great number but like I said it seems meeting comes up and some meet some don't then sex may be offered and some try and some don't) but it seems the same tale comes back of I dressed away from home, eventually met other t girls and some end up having sex and tell me it was out of sexual frustration or it made them feel so fem etc.. Hard to explain something you don't do but feel it a valid warning that this can happen.

When I work away and dress in a hotel I usually chat in a chat room or watch a film or sadly work on the laptop into the night whilst dressed up.

Maybe sexual encounters aren't mentioned in the forums but in chat they are especially if you're nosey like me and ask a lot of questions to other t girls to gauge the trans spectrum and see where I sit on it..

You're right I think "the Davina type crossdresser" feels sexy but isn't the type to meet other t girls and certainly no sex please (unless ones wife wanted to dabble lol I live in hope).

Would I meet others?

Maybe at a social gathering with my wife by my side but cant see it happening.

By: Emma RG

Subject: Re: Question for wives....

What makes me more accepting?

Hmm Well at first I thought this must be a joke and I was shocked and upset.

Talking helped although it was hard to talk about and finding this blog especially the chat on the guestbook also helped as did writing things down and using text to discuss it where it was hard to talk.

I guess he put all cards on the table and I trust him and i love him and I took it more that we had crossdressing as a secret to share.

Then I wanted to see him dressed and he looked good and from there I helped with makeup, it actually also kicked my arse into gear pardon the French and I started to make more of an effort in my appearance and dressing up which got me some compliments in work.

A few shopping trips were so much fun buying things for the both of us and making him go red having to buy things himself at the till.

Teasing my macho fella about his crossdressing sharing that private joke is fun.

I guess I don't fins it a threat and we've had some fun with it and in enjoy his company when he's cross dresser he's somehow relaxed and nicer so I get what Davinas wife sees.

I wouldn't want to force him out of the house to dress away from me although I trust him why the expense of a hotel staying away from me just to unwind dressed up.

I think its the way we came to terms with it and reading this blog together which gave me questions to ask.

He's definitely a Davina type crossdresser all man but a nice soft side he keeps for when he's dressed up.

It's a positive part of our relationship and i think its harmless fun.

By: Katie

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Question for wives....

I think that two factors come into play.

Firstly it is the source of your findings. If you're chatting to T Girls on sites that are used by some members for sexual encounters then proportionally more of those you correspond with may be up for crossing the line.

Secondly if this you are corresponding with T Girls who are transgender women then they are likely to be experimenting with their own sexuality.

Both of these may skew and findings.

On a forum I used to frequent the majority of posts were about acceptance and why. There was the occasional fantasy post and maybe one or two about exploring their sexuality. The site had 30,000 members and although not all were active there was sufficient turnover for there always to be a decent core an dozens of new posts everyday. The reason I left was because the same questions used to keep coming up and being answered by the same people with their own agendas.

Lots of the members spent time in hotels, crossdressing conventions and meetings and the subject of any sexual encounters was never mentioned. There was even and events section. There were strict codes on content and moderator could delete posts so maybe this too isn't a fair representation but I do still believe the majority of 'Davina' type crossdressers just wouldn't want to explore their sexuality in the way you describe.

Obviously a fear of any wife or partner is that the crossdressing becomes a transition but I'm sure given women's intuition they'd know if something more was going on.

I guess that why everyone bangs on about communication but if you can't then you just have to trust the other person. I'm sure I could pick up any bad vibes. Although I must admit I not always that good at picking up hints about birthday presents unless they're left in the Amazon basket LOL.

By: Sindy

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Question for wives....

Thanks for the I out Davina and Katie. But actually, Katie is right about not worrying that he's out of the house. I don't worry about him getting up to anything with anyone else at all. That's not his way. He'd leave me before he did that I'm sure of it. He also apparently dabbled with going to t girl clubs etc before we met and decided it wasn't his thing. I think it's too much of a private activity and beside, there were no actual girls there. That made laugh...I can't believe my naive husband thought he would meet women at a crossdressers gathering lol.

Anyway, my husband is really not the problem. Crossdressing in itself is not the problem. Put the two together and suddenly I seem to have a problem. I'd love to be lighter and more at ease enough to have it back home etc, but I just can't. It makes me uncomfortable and it also did a lot of damage to our intimacy. That's why I asked how other wives had reacted and whether it had evolved. Mine has in some ways and stayed exactly the same in others. I seem to be very inflexible in regards to participating without it affecting how I see him the rest of the time. I guess that's just me and how I am.

Emma, thought I'd respond to your quick note and say that logically, yes, I'd take crossdressing over drugs and alcohol! Of course. But I hate that wives with husbands who are addicts or whatever can discuss this issue openly and receive support and sympathy whereas if I mentioned my husband wearing a dress to destress I'd probably only receive laughter and the sound of people leaving. Not to mention how they'd treat my husband.

I hate that this is something men do, it's not even that uncommon, yet it's treated like it doesn't exist or worse, like anyone involved in it even by a matter of degree (think children of crossdressers etc) are subject to ridicule. It's offensive and unfair and puts so many of us in a shit situation.

So to cope I've had to move it away. I don't know if this will be forever but I can't see now it should hurt my husband any more than all the years he kept it from his siblings and parents. I sometimes wonder why he respected them enough to not involve them but yet I have to be? Why? This is something he's been doing since he was a little kid and I really can't comprehend why anyone would think other adults would be interested in what is essentially a childhood habit. We all have them - cross dressing is one of the more elaborate ones. So I don't get why parents are protected yet spouses have to love with it.

Anyway, that's me ranting. It's not all bad I promise. My husband is a big boy and has made his own choices. He lnows how I feel and always has and I've given him many opportunities to consider a life without me and my limits and each time he's said he is fine. He wants our marriage. I wobble at times that I believe him when I read what goes on in the community, but we're all adults here and in the end, no one can force anyone to do or be anything they're not. Its just us and our choices and if we're unhappy with them, then we either live with it or leave. But it's always a choice.

By: Davina

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Question for wives....

"I don't think not dressing at home would make someone have a fling"

I chat to lots of T-girls and sometimes my chat is research looking for reasons why men crossdress or what they do when crossdressed and why as I find most T-girls to be very open in chats.

A lot of T-girls (The ones I chat to most and some RGs) as straight and married with kids and similar to myself but some are further along the trans spectrum and what they tell me is sometimes fantasy but some do feel being driven away as a crossdresser by their wives has led them to become bisexual which has got to be a fear for wives and GFs.

I've discussed this with a RG who thought this incredulous but this reason has been given to me too many times for me to dismiss it.

I'm not saying get involved with crossdressing or your husband will cheat on you when dressed as I believe theres a junction some T-girls arrive at some go left remain faithful and some dabble to the right and become Bi T-girls.

My point is driving Crossdressing out to hotels or other places increases the likelihood of the Tgirl meeting others and from chatting it seems quite a lot of Tgirls then go on to experiment either cyber of physical.

This point needs to be put out there as not all Crossdressers like non crossdressers I suppose in society come in all forms of sexuality.

LGBT - I say the T has no place there but sometimes it does.

By: Katie

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Question for wives....

The thing to remember is that crossdressers reflect society in general. Some will be gay, some bi, some will have affairs, other will remain faithful, some are loving husbands and some will be complete arseholes.

I don't think not dressing at home would make someone have a fling. I think that there are many other factors involved other than crossdressing as Davina alluded to.

Marriage is about compromise and if dressing away from home is that compromise then fine. It's not a ban it's just DADT. The worst case scenario is that you're out the house, away from the kids and staring divorce in the face!

Sindy has made great steps in understanding crossdressing and maybe her mind is now in a different place. Her feeling are legitimate because they are hers, I think that she struggles with the logic of them sometimes but as we all know emotions are hard to control.

As I said I don't think Sindy has a problem with crossdressing she has a problem with her husband crossdressing. To overcome that will take time and she is asking questions and posing problems here to try and get over that hurdle.

By: Davina

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Question for wives....

Retirement now there’s something to look forward to 25-30 years to go.. I’ve driven a lot this week and in some places with rubbish radio reception and listened to BBC World service discussing how after the 2nd world war pensions and retirement came about as prior to this you worked till you could work no more and they think with debt and the way the governments and central banks have us set up the next generation maybe ours may not see retirement.. Also pensions and the age people now live to are causing problems with billion of pounds needed to finance retirement which isn’t there.. anyway back to Crossdressing.

Ageing Crossdressing I’ve thought of maybe I’ll crossdress with age gracefully but I cant see it myself as what attracts me to women and to crossdressing in fashion, make up, lingerie, high heels lace topped stockings etc isn’t something older women wear and I’ve seen a few older t girls photos on tvchix and some made me think “haven’t you got a mirror?” you cant dress like that any more I’m sorry.

It is an awkward thing we worry about this acceptance and level of acceptance and understanding so I can see from the letter Katie wrote to her wife that she is concerned and wants her wife to open up and talk about his crossdressing.

Why is it so hard to talk about?

I showed my wife photos I took of “Davina” and her response was “I don’t get it looking at the photos you look like a woman but I don’t get why you do it” that was a good few years back..

My wife had never seen me dressed in person until about 3 years ago.. maybe 4 years as the years seem to fly by and when she did meet me dressed it was a bit of a eureka moment for her as she must have had some picture in her mind of how I would look and was pleasantly surprised how I looked and dressed and acted..

What my wife did was brave and it put us onto another level of crossdressing acceptance with a few girls nights in following her seeing me dressed and also an acceptance of when home dressed she would be and is ok seeing me crossdressed.. Emma seems to have accepted her husbands crossdressing really well also and seems to be having fun with her level of acceptance.

More free time really does not = more dressing I agree with Katie we can get bored of dressing and the urge comes and goes..

I expect Sindys husband takes time to dress and to look as convincing as possible and it may be annoying but becomes a hobby (an occassional one – we don’t dress every time were home alone or every time we have opportunity) I doubt he expects Sindy to admire him as a crossdressed man he probably just wants Sindy to accept its something he does and be ok with it nothing more, deeper he probably wants her to be with him dressed and be ok with it but compromise and acceptance levels are important to stick to but always room for chat and negotiation.

I get that Sindy didn't get anything out of trying dressing with her husband but we men do lots of things with our wives which we don’t get anything out of.

But here’s something “Sindy didn't particularly like who her husband was when dressed” my wife says the opposite that I’m nicer when I’m crossdressed.. maybe she feels more in control, or I am different when I’m crossdressed she cant explain it I cant understand it I’m just me no matter what I wearing.

I wouldn’t say I feel high when crossdressed its not a word I would use but how do you feel when you have fun doing something especially when you only do it occassionally and get opportunity to do it. Its something we enjoy doing you wouldn’t want us to be miserable crossdressers lol we’d be much more like women then tho lol.

We probably are the same when not crossdressed but women seem to put up a force field and suppose were different when dressed as they don’t notice the drably dressed man is the same person.

Popping pills for stress release or crossdressing – I’ve read drs saying if it works better the pill free way to relax and destress – its not that bad its just a societal rejection of men who crossdress … as I’ve said before he could dress as something else like a treckie or a jedi its still dressing up but ewww not as a woman that would be weird but as a jedi or an alien that’s not weird .. says who?

I agree with Katie the problem isn't crossdressing its when your husband is the crossdresser.

I’ll echo Katies questions as my wife had a eureka moment when she let me dress with her so when you tried the gradual participation was your mind in a different place? Do you think his attitude to crossdressing has changed? You've never really mentioned how he feels about dressing, would he compromise in the way he acts around you to make it easier for you? What does he do when crossdressed? As it seems you don’t know and are assuming he’s dressing when away?

Mirror obsessed and it is a bit like a 'fix'? - being frank id say he was compensation dressing maybe wearing things he wished his wife would wear? It's too sexually and emotionally linked to become a 'normal' feeling for him? I get turned on when I’m dressed but that’s part of the whole feelings I get in the escapism .. I feel sexy and that sounds weird I know but it can be a turn on but I doubt that’s all it is for him.

I trust he's getting on with dressing during business trips etc, but it's left the house and our marriage as I requested, and yet here I am, still upset! - I’d be careful with this as this scenario takes a lot of trust, I’m not saying you don’t trust one another or that he’s not trustworthy but surely knowing what’s going on is better than avoiding it or forcing it out.

I’ve chatted to all sorts of crossdressers with all sorts of habbits including some crossdressers who have taken crossdressing outside the house when away with work..

Karen Adlers husband hid from her that he was going out meeting other crossdressers at t-girl clubs without her knowing he even crossdressed. Her story turns out a positive one but like I said I chat to lots of people and some who take it out of the house also meet other t girls and some not for social reasons and this is a wifes worst nightmare surely if her husband crossdresses and meets other crossdressers or male admirers for sex.

This may not apply but you’d not believe the reasons some crossdressers give when I’ve chatted and asked how they became bisexual tgirls and some answer it just happened, I never meant it to happen, I was meeting socially and my wife wasn’t interested, sex life was non existent then they met another t girl in a similar situation and well whatever they get upto out of frustration happened and they became bisexual although some tgirls say they’re not bisexual (but clearly are or have become out of sexual frustration).,, Hard to believe? Well its a common answer I get when I ask how come you became bisexual? Well it just happened?

Something to be aware of, surely better to be involved than to drive crossdressing away from the home and risk this kind of situation occuring? Ths isn’t scaremongering its keeping awareness and passing on some concern.

We had one tgirl the other day commenting on the blog “Sarah Tgirl” admitting she has cyber sex when dressed and it means nothing its make believe – is it harmless fun having cyber sex when crossdressed? Or is cyber sex cheating? Is it a slippery slope leading to meeting and something more physical. Its a topic I avoid on here in the blog but its probably the worst fear of wives.

Don’t make the topic awkward as it is better off kept light and easy to discuss or it will fester with both and frustration isn’t good.

If he's doing what’s been agreed and taking crossdressing away from home and there’s still a feeling of negative thoughts surely the crossdressing might as well be back safely in the house?

Its occassional still I expect and when the house is empty with no chance of being caught dressed and I feel it would be a better option with less variables.

I'm sure he is hurting, feeling guilt etc but he also may feel “sod it” she’s driven it out of the house why should I worry about it I’ll dress when away with work and stop worrying about it.. the problem is you don’t know if this is how he’s feeling and you still feel crappy.

Lots of food for thought for further discussion.

By: Emma RG

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Question for wives....

Sindy that's a bit drastic?

You would rather him pop pills and let chemicals sort out his stress than to let him Crossdress?

Will give my slant on your question later when I have more time.

By: Katie

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Question for wives....

Sindy, on a personal note I don't want to deceive anyone, it's not in my nature, it is only really our fears that makes us so secretive. If it didn't have such a stigma associated with it then I'd be totally open about it but unfortunately that is not the case. We hide it to protect ourselves and the ones we love and so I'm sure being deceptive isn't a personality trait associated with crossdressing it's just a means to an end.

I'm sure he's hurting, as much as you, having to hide it. I know I still feel guilty about 'hiding' it from my wife. In someways I have a feeling of rejection as I've tried to be open and honest but if that's what works for her then that's how it must be.

If things are good between you then there is no need to rock the boat. Just don't stress about it, I'm sure that things will work out in the long run. Talking here helps me to cope with the situation and if it helps you then that's great. Who knows you may suddenly have an epiphany!

Stupid thing is I probably worry more about the act of crossdressing than actually doing it so a lot of the stress busting benefits are lost LOL.

By: Sindy

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Question for wives....

Thanks Katie, that's incredible to know I have support here like that. Thanks. :-) This can be a very lonely road.

And how does my husband feel about dressing? Well, only from my observations, he's very mirror obsessed and it is a bit like a 'fix' for him. I can't see him ever dressing to collect mail or whatever...I think it's too sexually and emotionally linked to become a 'normal' feeling for him. That doesn't mean he wouldn't waltz out the door and collect mail as I suspect the pleasure seeking part would eventually lead to that if he wasn't married with kids.

Of course, I say that more in anger than truth. I don't actually think he would do something like that but I get so cross thinking about all this sometimes that I decide all these bad things about him. Truth is, since it became clear to him that I had waxed and waned and then permanently waned into a place where I didn't want to be involved, he's been very considerate. I trust he's getting on with dressing during business trips etc, but it's left the house and our marriage as I requested, and yet here I am, still upset!

Apparently, I can't win and neither can he. Crossdressing sort of sucks. :(

That said, we're also both less argumentative and stressed around each other so it was also the right choice. I need to trust him more though. And he's never given me reason not to but there's something about crossdressing in general that has always given me an uneasy feeling. I can't explain it. I sometimes feel like a man who enjoys pretending to be someone else might also be comfortable deceiving in other ways. You know? It's a feeling with not much truth in it. It's just something I'm personally battling with.

So we're happier overall but the topic is awkward now and I don't even really want to mention things to him anymore. I will if I have to, but if he's doing what we agreed and I'm still having all these negative thoughts then I'd much rather come here and discuss them with others who get it and can help. I love to help too, and any support you need Katie, and Davina, and Emma and everyone else, I'm here.

We're a little pocket of extra special crazy here. :-)

By: Katie

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Question for wives....

Hi Sindy

It seems to me that the problem isn't crossdressing in it's own right. You can accept that men crossdress and as you said if it'd been one of your male friends then it wouldn't have bothered you at all.

To me it looks like how your husband reacts to crossdressing that makes it unacceptable. If it causes resentment then that is a problem. You know he will continually crossdress so you will always resent him for it unless you can find a compromise that works for both of you.

I know that you are devoted to your kids and wouldn't want to see the marriage break up for their sakes but it is obviously the longer term that you are worried about.

I'm assuming that you are in a DADT (Don't Ask Don't Tell) arrangement which is your way of coping whilst you can process your thoughts here. When you tried the gradual participation was your mind in a different place? Do you think his attitude to crossdressing has changed? You've never really mentioned how he feels about dressing, would he compromise in the way he acts around you to make it easier for you?

My dressing is not something I'd force on my wife. I think I'd always be conscious that her acceptance may wax and wane. I know that I've always kept both sides separate and always tried to be the man she married whenever we are together.When I'm dressed I don't spend anytime admiring myself, a quick glance in the mirror to make sure everything is straight is enough! I don't tend to wear make up or a wig so it's more about feeling comfortable in the clothes and looking how I want to look.

I know if something becomes routine it can become less exciting. As I said I can easily get bored of dressing if I do it too much. Maybe some of his excitement and preening was to do with the newness of the situation and that overtime it would die down. If he didn't act any differently dressed would it be easier?

It sounds to me as if most of the compromises have come from you which is maybe why the resentment is there. If you accept that he won't stop dressing what would he need to do to stop the resentment?

My heart does go out to you because I know that you are desperately trying to find a solution that works, as I am to a degree, so maybe we can work it out together and make sure we can both get what we want.You've got plenty of love and support here so keep bouncing off us.

By: Sindy

Subject: Re: Re: Question for wives....

It hasn't so much grown in my mind as it just became unacceptable I guess. I did the gradual participation and it sadly never got easier. I think I just became more annoyed each time he dressed when I finally realized he really wasn't going to stop it and it really was going to be in our relationship longterm. I don't really enjoy the process of it and all the time/effort he has to put into it so he can admire himself and expect me to admire him or just hang out or whatever. I resented it. I didn't get anything out of it and I didn't even particularly like who he was when dressed. There's an element of being 'high' and a little too happy that turned me off. I always wondered why he couldn't be more like that without dressing and I started associating it with him having a mental health issue. It clearly relieves stress and I know logically that's not a bad thing but it's not much fun for the observer either. Can't he just pop pills like everyone else lol.

I know this is how it is for me and that's why I'm chatting here, so I can keep it from growing into something else in my mind and keep it real. It seems to be working, so that's something.

By: Katie

Subject: Re: Question for wives....

Hi Sindy

I'm not really in a position to comment directly on this post as I don't really know how accepting my wife really is but observing how Emma and other wives have coped may help.

I did offer to dress for my wife to see if that would help her in accepting my dressing. To date she has never seen me dressed so everything is in her mind.

I seem to remember that the last time you saw your husband dressed was years ago. Has the dressing grown out of proportion in your mind? You've made a real effort to understand crossdressing here which obviously shows a desire to be more accepting.

Emma and other wives seem to have faced this fear and exposed themselves to their husbands crossdressing. This has seemed to diminish their fear and maybe slowly it has become normal and acceptable. If you can sit there and laugh about it then that must be a great healer!

Would a gradual exposure to his dressing help? A little at a time until it becomes tolerable and finally acceptable. I'm not suggesting straight in at the deep end but something that you could cope with. I think the process is systematic desensitisation. People use it to overcome all sorts of irrational fears and phobias.

I'm not sure that more free time = more dressing. As I said before I can get bored of dressing sometimes and no matter how much opportunity I had I wouldn't dress.

By: Sindy

Subject: Re: Re: Question for wives....

It does help Davina. I guess, like the retired golf widow, I guess I have this I have this image of the crossdressing husband spending all his new free time browsing online clothing stores and trying on outfits in the spare bathroom. I've read some even turned their kids now empty bedrooms into women's clothing storage!

These are hopefully the extreme dressers!

I think (hope!) my husband would be more like you and want to hang out in retirement together. Not just stare at his reflection all day. He could of course decide I have to hang out with him in female mode which ain't gonna happen! If I wanted to sound time with some old persin in a wig I'd go hang with my actual old lady friends lol.

I don't know also how you deal with ageing crossdressing. I struggle to see what you all see anyway so part of this dressing is surely fantasy anyway so couldn't you just imagine the 'woman' in the mirror is young and hot still? Or is that a step too far to pretend? I don't see the older men quitting, or maybe they do and just disappear off the forums so we never know that they've quit? Or maybe they actually did take up golf instead haha.