Interesting article and BTL comments:
BTL comment:
"There are 2 definitions of fetish - one is about sexual gratification and the other is worship or adoration. The description here suggests the latter, but it's not entirely clear if the stated pleasure in handling results in sexual gratification.
If no sexual pleasure is required, then it's a matter of 'gender drag'. Being that, lots of ordinary blokes have fetishes which aren't considered fetish. eg. Cars, fishing, pigeon handling, specific antique collecting, potting shed tools, caps, hunting gear and so on. In this context collecting and appreciating women's shoes by a straight partnered male is therefore only classified a fetish by way of it's gender conformity variation, not because of the fact they are coveted objects alone. Any shame, insecurity or embarrassment is simply fear of a behaviour not assigned to the gender conformity, not the fact of the collecting and coveting.
If sexual pleasure forms part of the activity of handling the shoes, then it sounds more like a case of a long term under-developed and basic reflexive sexual fetish, where obsession resides in the viewing and touching alone, rather than in any contextual use of the object. It's unclear if the partner actively enjoyed or approved of the interest, if it would encourage his relationship to these shoes to evolve into other areas of pleasure or acting out. Whatever the kind of pleasure attained, the writer seems adjusted to his interest and happy with it's boundaries, even if the partner is less keen."
I guess the 'gender conformity variation' that is also the problem with crossdressing.
Katie x
No idea I'm just me when dressed maybe more relaxed I'm not embarrassed but think all us men who cross dress even when accepted wonder what's going through our wives minds.. Esme has said to me in the past you think too much. Not elaborating on the teasing..
I bet its the deep down shame a bit of embarrassment and worry what she really thinks of you you "Sissy" lol
Its part of your release from being in control as a man and as an alpha even more to feel vulnerable as Davina in front of Esme and even more so if she teases. Can you elaborate on the teasing without causing embarrassment?
Esme doesnt see a kinky fetish to this side of you she could enjoy?
It does border on BDSM to a certain extent
Hannah (Wife)
It is a bit of a fetish turns me on too and I'll admit i do like Esme teasing sometimes and maybe i do feel more submissive when dressed not really thought about it.
They do get turned on most of them i think well most i've chatted to and i know my husband gets a sexual kick out of dressing and he's a fetish dresser its very sexual for him but they're all different.
An element of fetish must be in all tgirls and some wives to an extent?
Haha he got all excited ahem you know what i mean yes i know exactly what you mean as mine is the same gets dressed with an errection haha.
we've explored bdsm with him dressed and i do get a bit of a power kick as hes more submissive when dressed and gives me opportunity to take charge, tease or do other things to him.
do you mean it can turn fetish not turn fetch lol
and i have a good imagination
Hannah (Wife)
It is a fetish and dont worry that it is
The Davina type crossdresser gets turned on by this does he sorry she not lol ergo a sexual fetish side to wearing what you wear looking like you look and fancying yourself dressed?
Or fancying the type of woman you are trying to portray.
We're still not talking anything more than crossdressing here are we so yep you lot have a fetish.
Just mentioned in a previous post hes sat here all dressed up and i was in bed when he got up and got changed in front of me and can confirm he was excited (ahem you know what i mean) when putting on his lingerie and getting dressed this morning lol
It's also fetish bordering bdms our relationship when hes dressed as i feel a little bit dom when hes vulnerable dressed as a woman (he just grinned reading that) and although most of the time hes dressed around me its like a female friend in the house in the bedroom it can definately turn fetch but will leave that to the imagination.
Emma (Wife)
And go on Karen what did you try?
We've done a few fantasies some we didn't realise we had until we just happened into them
Hannah(wife)
Oh do tell Karen.. We're all anon here. We've not really discussed fulfilling fantasy apart from I wanted to "do it" as Davina with her and done that twice (and it was so good but she was drunk and says she can't remember .... Yeah right)
Yes we do. Had a go at one of mine many years ago and it wasn’t at all like I imagined it would be. End of fantasy 😢
We all have little fantasies.. Esme won't let on about hers.. She must have some right? Those dirty books she downloads on kindle 🤣 They're not dirty she'll claim.. I've said feel free to bring suggestions to the table.. Not the dinner table tho 🤣
Agreed it is just some are more extreme than others.
There is an element of fetish in all of us
For my husband its fetish
He gets off on dressing as a woman and he gets off on turning people on via web cam.
its always been a sexual turn on for him more than the Davina type crossdressers relaxing.
So for him its 90% a turn on.
The sexual part to my dressing is very small.. Part feel sexy, part feel turned on and because of this it gets posted into the fetish bracket by mainstream society. But 85-90% of why I dress is due to enjoying it, relaxing, stress busting, feeling different, loving the clothes and the look and the escapism.. If anything its 10-15% fetish... And that small percent wearing things we wish our wives would wear more but we're not allowed to ask you to wear or we're pressurising you yet if we don't you won't lol ... We are stuck.
Always free to have an opinion here.
At last I have given someone something to think about!
I think I feel safe commenting here hence the input. Sometimes I don’t say anything for fear of being ripped to shreds for having an opinion x
There's no right or wrong answer.. I will ponder on this Karen and get back to you later as unfortunately have to help sort my littlests bedroom out.. You are becoming the most frequent wife Karen thanks for your input
So according to the dictionary the definitions of fetish are:
A unusually strong liking or need for a particular object or activity as a way of getting sexual pleasure.
Disapproval of that liking and enjoyment of the strong liking for said object or activity.
In some cultures a carved object which has religious importance or magical powers.
I would say that cross dressers fit into number one as there is the strong liking and need to partake in that activity and most get sexual pleasure from said activity. Onlookers would fit into number two as they disapprove of the activity that they see as sexual deviance.
I did not see it as a fetish as such but did associate it with sexual pleasure. From my new found knowledge I now perceive it as a form of expression of oneself and a form of relaxation from the stresses and strains of modern living. There is however still a very strong sexual undertone and wonder if cross dressing is used as a cover for sexual orientation and trying to normalise that.
It is just a thought from the forums that I have read!
Agreed I think its easier for some to accept in their head that cross dressing falls under the auspice of Fetish.
I think the point that the person commenting on the article is that it only becomes a 'fetish' because it is not gender 'normal'. As you say a woman can love and adore heels without it being classed as a fetish. Where as a man loving heels is looked at as being a fetish because it is not gender conforming. A bloke dressing up as medieval knight at weekends and camping in a castle ground - not fetish. A guy wearing heels, dress and lingerie - fetish. Why? In both cases the guy get enjoyment out of what he is doing.
It is just the gender non-conforming that makes it a fetish. Making it a fetish infers that it is deviant and kinky when it could just be fun!
As the person commenting says a fetish has tow definitions. One is sexual the other adoration. If you adore skirts, dress, heels etc then it can be just the same as someone who loves cars or fishing. It just what you like. I know plenty of women who just don't care about clothes. The fact that we do doesn't make us weird it just makes us the same as women who adore dressing up.
Katie x