I've chatted to a few t girls over the last week on TV Chix with non accepting and semi accepting wives so hoping a few more will sign up and we get some chatter going and some new threads or recall old threads and continue explaining and debating the pros and cons of crossdressing.

It's a fascinating subject and also I'll admit a bit of a weird phenomenon but also harmless.. but As Katie's said and I've added as a new thread " The more you understand the easier it becomes"

Davina

I see a few have joined but too shy to add comments? or still reading the hundreds of posts on here?

Maybe having more accepting there's less to discuss but good to share what level of acceptance as even some accepting still want to push further or maybe take a step back.

Be nice to get some curious about acceptance I miss giving advice to new wives discovering.

Emma (Wife)

Hoping a few I've chatted to on line recently join and add to our little community of couples ok with dressing

That's cool.. All about communication and balance.. Just like me being a Jedi.. Balance the light and the dark.. Blond or Brunette..

I think it has to be what ever works for you as a couple. You need to talk about what you find acceptable and both try and work out what you want or need. I feel it has to be a two way street for it work. I would never want to dress to much and for Rachel to take over. We have are time together as husband and wife but then we have time together as girlfriends

Rachel just prefers the feel of knickers and not underpants and if what she prefers then I’m good with it - Rachel dresses when she can son being home permitted and we try and practice with the make up when we can

There's the level change as I'm at my level I dress fully with makeup and wig or not at all .. I don't want to wear just knickers.. For your husbands they're wearing knickers and that's fine and you're OK with that .. Not something I'd do and don't think Esme would be OK with that. I have my male side and he wears boxer shorts and I have my fem side and when she's about its matching lingerie or an all in one body.. I don't mix the two.

Rachel wears them full time now

So in answer to the first post can anyone actually define what anyone does to get a level of acceptance? I think my level changes daily and probably hourly if I am completely honest. I think your acceptance is within yourself and probably cannot be defined by what your husband or partner says is does.

I was reading Davina’s blog earlier as it has been mentioned before and came across the levels of acceptance which was very interesting.

1. Shock and Denial - Shock most definitely. Denial not then but sometimes now and I am 10 months down the line. Still shocked? Maybe still can’t really put the Male and female together in my head sometimes.

2. Anger, Frustration and Depression- Still angry that I was lied to for so long and not sure I will ever not be angry but it is not the raging anger I had back in January. Frustration not so much- yet! Depression- yes think I get waves of it.

3. Decisions- I made the decision right back at the beginning that I was not going to divorce him just because he wears a dress. I also made the decision that I did not want to be excluded from that part of his life.

4. Experiment, Acceptance and Integration - Experiment not for me but that is a personal thing. Acceptance- Think I am still working on that. I think there are definite degrees of this. He has put his clothes in the wardrobe, dressed at home and we have been to a small club and out shopping. Now wears knickers everyday after asking if it was ok. So does that then also form integration?

I think there is a couple of points missing like trust and forgiveness.

Do I trust him? No

Do I forgive him for deceiving me for years? Not yet

So I am still on my journey of acceptance and some days I find it extremely difficult, upsetting and lonely and all because I love my husband.

Rachel never stops browsing the internet and quite licks Hell Bunny

We've not been lingerie shopping for a long time. I like the lacy boy short French knicker type.

Sorry for jumping the gun and being too protective - we got quite a few M&S vouchers for wedding gifts and had a lovely time purchasing some new Lacey and satiny knickers- I like big comfort knickers and Rachel went for much smaller ones 🤣

Rachel hasn’t managed to dress this weekend with her having a bad cold and son was bringing granddaughter over early in the morning only they didn’t turn up until about 1pm

My apologies Davina I totally misread what you said/meant - Rachel explained it too me and yes your right we do - we look at each other with ‘if only they knew’ looks and smile to each other😁

And she did and there were pictures 😊

I would never treat Rachel’s secret as a joke and her happiness is paramount to me and our relationship

To me it’s no one else’s business

Hard for those who don't feel they can tell their wives or GFs who who's wives and GFs don't understand and won't accept it.

Weird isn't it how this thing we do has that positive effect on us. Something so simple yet so frowned upon.

Ive dressed more in the last probably 10 years than I used to dress mainly as a stress buster.. I know Esme would prefer I didn't cross dress but greatful she is OK with it. It helps me unwind and distress somehow the escapism from male life and work etc. No one would ever guess. Chelle your immediate acceptance is brilliant.. I'm sure you can add a lot of advice here as an accepting wife. I do wonder if back over 20 years ago I'd told Esme I was a cross dresser if shed have run a mile but back then I was dressing far less and didn't have the stress pushing the urge to dress as a woman. I had competitive sport, training, uni then work and a GF.. Cross dressing was scarce to nothing. As work and life changed and got more stressful dressing returned and became something of a control for mental wellbeing .. And I find it fun. When I first tiled Esme I was a cross dresser and she burst into tears I never imagined years later wed be walking through London as women together lol. But back then I never even considered I'd ever go out in oublic as Davina. Dressing has progressed to a level I'm happy with I dress fully or not at all when working from home or when away from home with work and we have the occasional girls night in.. All about to become very difficult as our oldest progresses to GCSEs and home in a year or so time then the local college so finding Davina time will be even more of a challenge.

Took us 8 years of me struggling to bring up the topic to reassure her bit by bit negotiated new levels of acceptance until one day working from home.. She knew I was dressed and came upstairs where I was working from home with a sandwich and cup of tea and met me dressed.. Fully dressed my first crap wig. Her first words were "Wow you look like a woman I still don't get it and we need to get you a better wig".. We ordered a better wig on line that night together and the next Saturday had our first nervous girls night in together.

Took us 8 years of me struggling to bring up the topic to reassure her bit by bit negotiated new levels of acceptance until one day working from home.. She knew I was dressed and came upstairs where I was working from home with a sandwich and cup of tea and met me dressed.. Fully dressed my first crap wig. Her first words were "Wow you look like a woman I still don't get it and we need to get you a better wig".. We ordered a better wig on line that night together and the next Saturday had our first nervous girls night in together.

That's so cool and open minded.. A bit different from us as we'd been dating for years and to her I was an Alpha Male. I don't recall when we were dating cross dressing my recollection was dating Esme I didn't cross dress. We bought a house together and were engaged and I was home decorating and other DIY and alone at home curious what my fiance had in her knicker draws and wardrobes tried a few things on... Fast forward a few years the extent of my dressing hardly ever then one day she said to me "Can I put makeup on you and dress you as a woman" Had she sussed I was a cross dresser? At first I said no but she asked again so I said yes. She put makeup on me this was my first time made up, I put on lingerie, tights squeezed into a pair of her heels and a dress and there I was dressed in front of Esme in the bedroom thinking shed sussed me and called me out and then I said.. This isn't the first time I've croasdressed.. Her reaction was one of terror take it all off and then a pretty silent night. Next day I wrote a letter explaining my dressing since I was a kid.. Her 3 questions are you Gay? Do you want to be a woman? Is it my fault? 8 years later and lots of talking she met me as Davina..

True and went to get some sandals too😁

Things then just fell in to place and made sense about her - click! She said she’d stopped doing it and would promise never to do it again and she’d got rid of a lot of her stuff as she wanted for us to work - I really appreciated her saying that however for me it didn’t make sense for her to try and change who she was, why would I expect or want that for her I know what it’s like for others to have expectations of you and try to change who you were and I didn’t want her to do that or go through that and would never expect her too - I love Rachel exactly who she is - there are 3 of us in this relationship and I wouldn’t have it any other way - I make them happy and they make me happy 😍😘😁

Rachel started to spend more and more time at my house when one night went back home leaving her iPad behind so when I moved it the things what she had been looking at were visible-so I thought that I would ask her over text right away - do you CD I asked - yes came the reply .........

I mentioned to Rachel that she should really cut her nails as they looked really feminine on a guy and didn’t look right - she showed me a picture of her nails painted by some female work colleagues to raise money for charity and had to keep them like that for a couple of days - the pictures didn’t look great but she must have been in her element and raised about £100 for charity 😁

One of the things I had noticed about Rachel was she had long nails and she seemed transfixed and obsessed by them but at this point I hadn’t realised she was a T-girl . I finally said by text that we should be a couple and she finally agreed with some interpretation- but said if it didn’t work out could we still be friends - I agreed😳😁

After a few weeks and walks Rachel still hadn’t invited me out for a coffee- I’d told me BF that if she asked me out for a coffee I would diffinately go - but Rachel was oblivious 😳 she didn’t ask so I decided to give her my mobile number and we began texting 😊

FATE - who believes in it - I do and Rachel was skeptical about it then but now I’m not so sure 😂, all it took was his dog turning right instead of the normal left on the normal walk for them - this took them to the vale where I was walking my 2 huskies Nooks (red) and Luna (Gray) and what did I see before me but a little red husky and at the end of the long extended lead was Rachel😱 Obviously I started chatting immediately as I am a complete husky nut job - most of us are crazy! Poor Rachel just stood there whilst I babbled at her and he manage to get a word in and answered one of my questions - Luna she said - she’s called Luna😱😃😁

Nope, don’t think we can tbh 😳🤣

And me being nosey 🤣

With Rachel’s permission of course

I will reveal all later about our special story as I am working at the moment 😃

Ahh you sussed it out and didn't run a mile.. My wife Esme had no idea i think i put her into a state of shock when I told her i was a Crossdresser.

What was the give away that helped you suss out you were dating a T-girl?

And what was your reaction? any doubts and fears?

Did you come out and ask if he was a crossdresser?

I'm nosey i know lol

I’m a wife and sussed it out whilst we were dating, to me it is part of who he is

Thank you Davina 😊

I’m a wife of a cross dresser

Hello Michelle I'm a wife of a Crossdresser.

Are you a wife or another t-girl?

I'm sure there was an introduction post on the forum somewhere.

Rebecca (Wife)

Thank you, I am so pleased to be part of this group 😊

Hi Chelle welcome to the Forum Any questions or queries or ideas ask away 👍

Hello Everyone I’m Chelle nice to meet you all, I’m newly married to the lovely Rachel and feel privileged to be invited on to here 😊

My wife has been reading some of the posts on here and has now asked me to set her up with an account of her own

Hannah if people want to chat about whatever they can you seem to have a unique experience of coming to terms with dressing and sexuality so I daub you our sexuality expert 🤣 Keep it clean though 🤫

Hi no time now as getting dinner on only popped in as someone from the site emailled me to ask how i was.

I'm an accepting wife. I went from scared what it may mean to experimenting with him dressing and seeing him dressing to girls nights in then i was fearful he was bisexual then we arranged another t girl to come over and dress and she asked about his sexuality and i said tell the truth and he said he was probably bi.

The t girl asked if she could kiss my crossdressed husband and i said it was upto him i left the room but curiuos to see what happened and they were kissing and quickly led to more and although i was scared i found it fascinating and a turn on.

I've since discovered i'm bisexual myself so with his dressing we opened our minds up to sexuality also. id never have thought this if you read back my thoughts through this forum and Davinas blog.

i miss our chats here i will try to come back sooner and hope to give some advice not only on coming out as trans but maybe on sexuality if i'm allowed its just sex not love its just fun . Davina let me know if I'm allowed to put on here more ok?

Hannah (wife)

Basically dont be afraid and ashamed of fantasies and sexuality if just labels live your life to the full and enjoy

Sorry missed you unless you're still here. I miss all the girls too especially Sindy bringing her dose of reality.

Yes I suppose I am.

Are you still on line Davina I see you're just answering my last messages????

Where's Hannah and miss Sindy hope shes ok and Rebecca but most of all wheres your wife Esme??

One of our original Wives

Love your story of discovery lol and you've come a long way in a short time.

Well i've told my story here of catching him crossdressed when i got home from work early.

Not sure how or if he'd have told me he dressed as we both went shy and i was worried about the usual stuff was he gay did he want to be a woman and all that.

chatting to tgirls here and on your blog and to other wives helped me and i decided to face it and came to terms with it being his fun and escapism i don't care why he just does it and its harmless and we've had some fun with him crossdressing.

talking and being honest is what it took in the end and setting limits bit by bit although was more like 8 months than 8 years my acceptance.

who's next?

Emma (Wife)