By: Katie

Subject: Re: Re: Re: After thought...

I don't think its the label 'crossdressers wife' that is the problem. The partner of the main subject will always get the anonymous tag line. Davina McCall and her husband?

The issue is that Sindy and other wives/partners are the wife of a crossdressers with all the social stigma that that entails. When I asked the question about it being a 'burden' this was really the response I was expecting. Maybe keeping the secret is not a burden but a wife / partner will always have the same fears that we, as crossdressers, have about being found out. It can affect us and our families both socially and financially which is why many of us decide to keep in private and in many cases from our wives and partners.

It doesn't make it right but it does give an element of protection for the ones you love.

My biggest concern is always for my wife and children. I know the easy answer is just 'give it up' but I think that that demonstrates the huge need that I and many others have to crossdress. As I said before if there was a pill then I'd take it.

I get Davina's points about it being harmless fun and a good way to relax. It is. But this fear will exist until it becomes socially acceptable which I think is a long way off. I don't see it happening in my lifetime anyway or at least for people of my generation!

Transgender individuals who decide to live their lives as women are becoming more accepted with high profile people such as Caitlyn Jenner. However, for normal people changing your sex can have a devastating effect on their lives and that of their families.

Crossdressers don't want to change sex and although we share some of the same social problems as transgender people I do believe that our wiring is not the same and their need for gender expression and identity are different from our own (CDs).

Changing peoples opinions one by one is a difficult task. But as with anything going viral it only takes a few to be on message to get it out to the whole world. Or at least those with the intelligence to understand that we are all individuals and different from each other.

I don't think that men being accepted as crossdressers will suddenly mean an army of men tottering about in high heels and dresses. It is still a private matter and although some people will want acceptance by dressing in public this would still be rare.

By: Sindy

Subject: Re: Re: After thought...

Social stigma is a HUGE part of why wives will reject a crossdressing husband. It should matter a GREAT DEAL to crossdressers because the wife gets labeled the 'crossdressers wife'. And even though she's not a crossdresser herself, suddenly this strange lifestyle is also hers. She inherited it by default. What will the PTA moms think? Will the kids blame her for their dad's weird behavior? Get bullied at school? What will her parents think?

Even if you never tell another living soul, she will FOREVER worry about these things. Imagine living like that - with constant fear and the knowledge that your husband holds all the control. That's why it matters that we're labeled 'crossdressers/footballers/politicians wives.

It matters a lot!

By: Davina

Subject: Re: After thought...

Ahhh but the do gooders are trying to unbalance things too much.. eg in one area in Wales in the last elections one area was a women only vote for the next MP now that is sexist.

It should be the best person for the job.

I don't know why women get labelled WAGs and Footballers wives.. Maybe its how they are portrayed in the media as dumb blondes who married the rich footballer… It's wrong but conversely we do see husbands of politicians and actress and other celebs called soinsos husband.

So by the same vane husbands are not extensions of their wives so whats it got to do with crossdressing? I don't get your point here linking this to crossdressing.

By: Davina

Subject: Re: Re: After thought...

I have another theory on News presenters and its nothing to do with male to the left and female to the right.

Now my hypothesis

For whatever reason the predominant camera seems to be set tot the right.

They sit the female presenter which thrills me but may be seen as even more sexist to show a bit of leg... Pure and simple men tune in to ogle a bit of leg first thing in the morning in high heels ... I know I do.

I'll switch on BBC not for their propaganda but to see what the female presenter is wearing, how she's done her makeup and how much leg she's got on show.. Nagga doesn't half wear some weird stuff..

So there it is.. Same on the one show, same on ITV... Leg leg leg leg leg mm mm mm lol

I've read my husband wears my clothes too but there is a lot in there I don't associate myself with.

By: Katie

Subject: Re: After thought...

It is inequality but then that is something perpetuated by the media. It always bugs me that the female presenter always sits to the left of the male presenter on BBC breakfast. If there are two female presenters then the more experienced presenter sits on the right ( e.g. Louise). To me this demonstrates that the BBC considers male presenters superior no matter what their experience is, for instance Dan is the new boy but still gets the lead position on the right.

I read a book called 'My husband wear my clothes' so it is possible to phrase a title in a different way changing the emphasis. They just decide not to.