By: Katie

Subject: Re: Questions

Em

Just goes to show how initial conceptions and fears can be overcome with understanding and acceptance.

Merry Christmas

By: Emma RG

Subject: Questions

- My husband must be gay wasn't my initial thought my initial thought was omg who is he I don't know him how can he do this

- He crossdresses in public I thought omg what if he has what does he look like

- He wants to live as a woman also crossed my mind

- Horror, he wants surgery! - I did ask did he want to be a woman and have an op if he did we were over

- He's mentally unstable and has a thing for his mother (ok, maybe that was just me lol) - I didn't think about his mother until he said he used to wear her stuff but did think he was bonkers

- I bet he looks ridiculous - yep thought this but my what a surprise he looks amazing as a woman

- This will destroy my sexual attraction - it hasn't

- He's going to dress during sex - well we've tried and it was ok

- He will be seen by the kids/neighbors/postman - postman and neighbours have seen him neighbour told me he had a woman in the house when I was in work I made him answer the door to the postman lol he passed I think

- He is more attracted to his female self than me - he says I'm far more attractive

- There's no point dressing sexy because he'd rather wear it we both dress sexy

- He's always hiding something - he better not be

- He's a compulsive liar - hes told me everything?

- He will leave me for a woman who likes cross dressing - ive accepted his crossdressing so he had better not lol hes already got one

- He will spend all our money on clothing - we did go shopping it was fun

- The dressing will progress to taking over our lives - its still occasional and I like his company when hes dressed

- We will never have a normal marriage - who wants boring normal

- Divorce is inevitable so why bother - nonsense anyone who divorces over crossdressing must have other reasons for divorce your husband dressing as a woman is no ground for divorce

Have a good Christmas all

By: Davina

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Fears

You're fab Sindy glad you found and started contributing to the Blog xxxx

By: Sindy

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Fears

I'll follow the communication comment with a side note, because I know Katie's situation is an exception with a wife who is comfortable with crossdressing but doesn't want to discuss any of it. I truly believe from chatting with you here, Katie, that she's accepting but not interested. So we have to assume here that she has minimal fears.

So in this case, pushing for communication could be seen as annoying. Hopefully a husband knows his wife well enough to spot this scenario. I would still worry a little that the wife is coming up with her own answers, but if these answers are not bothering her, there's really no issue.

It's all so personal, isn't it. Only those reading here know their situation and how to navigate it. I just wish you all much comfort and luck.

By: Sindy

Subject: Re: Re: Fears

And great answers, Davina and Katie. :-) Obviously it's very personal between the couple how these question/answer sessions work out. I do know that the fears a wife has, if not addressed properly, can destroy the relationship without the husband ever putting a foot wrong. So better to get that communication going, even if it feels awkward and like pulling teeth, as letting her answer these questions herself could be disastrous, Trust me, her answers will likely be FAR worse than the truth.

Here's hoping these couples find there way here to your blog where they can read the sensible blog posts and watch the not-scary videos and start their relationship on a forward path again. What a great Xmas gift you just offered them all, Davina. :-)

By: Davina

Subject: Re: Fears

Great post again Sindy

My answer would be watch the vids I put in the blog they answer some of the below but heres my quickfire answers

- My husband must be gay - Not at all we love women we don't like men

- He crossdresses in public - he might do but most of us are behind closed doors and curtains

- He wants to live as a woman - why would we want to do that a few hours escapism is all we require then back to alpha man mode

- Horror, he wants surgery! - No way uh uh no thankyou

- He's mentally unstable and has a thing for his mother (ok, maybe that was just me lol) - I love my mother but don't have a thing for her eww and I'm the most stable and sensible person I know

- I bet he looks ridiculous - Or maybe looks stunning and that's part of why we dress

- This will destroy my sexual attraction - hes still him when not crossdressed and when crossdressed how do you know sex with him as her isn't mind blowing? try a blind fold lol hmmmm that's an idea!

- He's going to dress during sex - Only if requested but you feel free to wear sexy lingerie stockings and heels in the bedroom

- He will be seen by the kids/neighbors/postman - the only real concern in this list id say this could happen then some explaining to do

- He is more attracted to his female self than me - I think I look ok as Davina but not more attracted to Davina than to my wife I mean I love my legs but love her boobs more lol

- There's no point dressing sexy because he'd rather wear it - Incorrect we'd rather our wives dressed sexy for some its lack of wives dressing sexy which drives us to try it

- He's always hiding something - maybe in the past or when in the closet about crossdressing but both should put all cards on the table and communicate openly

- He's a compulsive liar - Fear of losing you had him hiding his crossdressing that doesn't mean hes a liar

- He will leave me for a woman who likes cross dressing - It would take many things for a man to leave his wife a woman into him crossdressing may be part of that true but would take a hell of a lot more

- He will spend all our money on clothing - I've spent around 10-20 quid on Davina some makeup and a pair of stockings I cant justify spending much on Davina

- The dressing will progress to taking over our lives - its only occasional crossdressing it wont take over once per month or what if he played golf a few times per week and you hardly saw him of course women play golf too nice to do that together and women can dress up too

- We will never have a normal marriage - Who wants a normal marriage lol you have this cheeky lil secret between you that in joke at times when out with friends share a smile when something related to crossdressing crops up

- Divorce is inevitable so why bother - Its occasional and only a part of the relationship it wold have to be something drastic and closed minded to lead to divorce because a man dresses like a woman

Good post Sindy I can see the relevance in all questions and worth a wife writing these down and saying to her crossdresser answer these for me please..

By: Katie

Subject: Re: Fears

I think if you trawl back through the posts of the last year you'll probably find answers to most those questions. Obviously they are all from a personal point of view and Sindy is hear to give the alternative point of view to many of the crossdressers. I believe that she knows many of the answer herself and how the affect her and her marriage. For others it's an ongoing process as it is with many of us.

Sometimes it will have to be the husband who is answering truthfully and sometime sit will be the wife or partner who has to answer the question for themselves.

Many of the questions are misconceptions and can easily be laid to rest whereas other are very personal but I sure that with compassion, love and understanding they can all be over come given time.

Crossdressing can be an easy excuse to end a marriage but I believe that if you truly love someone then you will find a way to make it work.

Merry Christmas everyone and I hope Santa bring you plenty of lovely presents! I know what I'd like but will probably end up with something very practical.