Stolen from TV chix
should count himself lucky. Allegedly. Hmmm.
Despite no longer having to face the weekly grind of a 9-5 (I know, I’m very lucky), I still find that I’m quite excited at the prospect of the weekend. Having given it a little thought, whilst sipping yet another cheeky gin and tonic, I’ve decided that this is because I get to spend the weekend with the ‘Usbund...who some of you might know as my girl, Daniella.
Now the boring truth is, my fella works very hard during the week, in his very manly type job, in order to provide well for us. It’s not all lipstick and stockings. As such, I enjoy our down time at the weekend.
Recently, I’ve been receiving a few messages that tell me how fortunate my fella is to have such a supportive wife...and I feel compelled to put the record straight here, once and for all. Sure, it’s true that all this girl ‘stuff’ used to be quite the quandary, but it’s really not so much these days.
We went for dinner earlier, and were discussing how things have changed in the last year. I was telling the ‘Usbund, with serious indignation, that it was a bit rude that he’d not even bothered to try the new lashes I’d procured for him, and they were still sat on the side in the bedroom. He then admitted that it was indeed a little off that he’d also not tried on that new satin blouse I’d bought him for Valentines either...we both noted that ‘real life’ certainly gets in the way sometimes and whilst he might come across as a bit ungrateful, he wasn’t at all. Apparently it isn’t that, but he does get distracted by other things.
What can I say? I personally think that his head has been turned by some new fur and heels that he preferred, but that’s a different debate that I won’t win, so won’t go there. To be honest, I’m just as likely to be annoyed that he didn’t wear the new shirt I’d carefully chosen for him. However, it did occur to us that it was indeed an ‘odd’ conversation for a hetro couple to be having on a Friday night. Other women argue about who left the toilet seat up, and that their bloke is always in the pub, whilst I’m here moaning about a lack of appreciation for the girly accessories that I’ve lovingly picked out. I realised tonight that, the reality is, it’s all semantics, and the subject matter is wholly interchangeable. Men and women just see things differently, a prioritise things in a different order. This doesn’t change just because you chuck a bit of cross dressing into the mix. Mars and Venus blah blah.
We then discussed how he thinks he’s somehow amazingly lucky to have such an understanding bird that he can be so open with...and this is where we disagreed.
I’m not sure about how you girls feel about *all this*, and I guess that everyone’s situation is completely different, but I really feel, quite strongly, that I am a bit of a charlatan. At least where Chix is concerned. I don’t think I deserve the reverence I seem to get for being so ‘understanding’.
It’s just not that big a deal, if I’m honest.
Sure, I could milk this situation and get loads of credit and brownie points for laying myself bare and ‘putting up’ with all this terrible cross dressing malarkey, but that’s just not how it is...I’d be very disingenuous if I allowed that perception to stand.
The truth of the matter is, I love The ‘Usbund. Full stop. End of.
For those of you that want me to qualify that, because of the crossdressing, I’d just further it by saying, after the initial shock, it’s been something that’s actually enhanced our lives. Dressing brings my fella to life. It makes him happier than I’ve ever seen him in any other situation. What’s not to love about that? I accept that I’m fortunate because he doesn’t want to transition or change our lives (least at the moment) so I don’t have to worry about any of that. I don’t have to deal with other peoples pesky judgements or condemnation, it’s just between us and his online persona, which I’m sure makes life easier for me. He’s also very honest and we talk - about all of it, so I don’t feel the fear or vulnerability that others might.
He is wonderfully happy as Daniella, when the mood takes him, and is content to explore that part of his personality - which only makes life better for me. I get to know every part of him, and he shares all that he is.
What more could a wife ask for in a husband?
Answer: Absolutely nothing.
The truth is, it’s me that counts myself as very lucky for having a cross dressing husband - not the other way round. He is truly the amazing one. I’m just fortunate that he chose me.
Fantastic perspective and my advice is if you can't beat it join it better being involved than not involved as I know from experience it can grow and change and escalate but we've grown together and had a lot of fun with crossdressing (even sexy fun together)
Wives should take some perspective on this and try to understand why their husbands crossdress look at me worried it means he was bisexual and find that he is bisexual and I think i am too but so what.just another label consensual fun is fine.
Most women are scared of the sexuality aspect and talking to other t girls they're all scared of their sexuality I say stop worrying and go with the flow lifes too short to box yourself in out of what society deems is the right way to be.
Hannah (Wife)
Sounds like shes got her head around it like me it is just a thing nothing to worry about if you trust one another and something after a year and a hlf we're still having fun with here
Emma (Wife)
It's not just a 'thing' though. It's an identity that has been with a man for most of his life and which he probably hid from his wife. She can't tell her friends about it, and most people would still consider him a pervert if they found out. Sad but true. So it's not just a 'thing' like golf or whatever.
So, is this wife mad? I'd say she's a wee bit delusional...kind, but delusional. I'd like to know how she's doing in five/ten years and whether her acceptance has waned and her joy of his flicker photo obsession worn thin. You guys will push boundaries if given half a chance. She's given him a green light to do whatever and while he might behave now, I wouldn't be surprised if down the road he's bored and wants to try more, more, more.
But, good luck to them. I hope they prove everyone wrong. I just hope she's mentally prepared to live with the consequences of a crossdresser with complete freedom, as from what I've witnessed online over the years, it can very quickly spiral out of control. And once there, that genie is not going back in!!
My advice to her? Have an escape plan at the ready! But that's my advice to all women, as too many are not prepared for the worst case scenario and end up staying married to men who make them miserable. Men seem to just naturally have escape plans...ladies, make sure you have one, too!
Is this something wives can read and think shes right or are wives and GFs thinking this lady is mad accepting crossdressing this way?
SHe pretty much sees it like us tgirls no drama just us men dressing as women.
SHe continues
I realise that it might have conjured feelings of jealously when I penned it, but it wasn't meant to. I'm not bragging or attempting to show off and say 'look at what we've got'. It's certainly not all hearts and flowers at this end, even if it seems to be from my ramblings. Like any relationship, it comes with it's own set of challenges. i.e we drive each other mad on a regular basis!
I was just trying to say that the cross dressing is just the same as any of the other myriad of things that can cause tension in a long term relationship. To me, its no different. It's the same as him not listening when I tell him what social events we've got planned in, or when he spends all night on his iPad (on chix or Flickr no doubt) and doesn't engage with his wife! 📷 In some respects, the dressing is far more straight forward...it's just a *thing*.
I do wish more women could see past the drama of it all though, you're right. Because if they could, they'd see that its not that big a deal, not if the love is there to provide a decent foundation