I cant and never speak for someone who identifies as transsexual (also know some hate being labelled transexual, hate the term Real Girl, Genetic Girl, Cis girl etc the whole labels things can be taken out of context but it makes it easier to identify a place on the perceived trans or otherwise spectrum)

I agree they are just ordinary women and will enjoy doing ordinary women things but lots are very feminine in appearance and the way they dress.

We Crossdressers make no excuses for preferring all the superficial feminine stuff and I cant see how this is likely to insult a transsexual more than being compared to real women.

From experience Ive chatted to lots of girls who have gone through the operation some call what we do playing at being Trans and thats fair enough compared to what they have to go through and some have no real opinion of us mere crossdressers.

As Ive pointed out in here and the blog we are incredibly misunderstood as Crossdressers, even more so as occasional crossdressers in the Trans world.

We do play at being Trans and happy to return to male us and again I dont apologise for this, were men who play at dressing and presenting as women.. no harm done, have the escapism and release and fun of the transformation and feeling different, relaxed, some turned on then return to male us.

The best of both worlds in what we enjoy doing, not as serious as other parts of the Trans spectrum which is why were just Crossdressers no real serious reason other than it can help us de-stress and unwind.

Wives don't understand crossdressing, its not like its taught in school and read an agony aunt column "My husband is a crossdresser and 9 out of 10 times its painted in a bad light by the agony aunt" .. Written to one myself and the response was published in a magazine and the advice was awful Transphobic infact.

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We do understand ourselves once we get our heads around why we do it to what extent we do it in the pie chart of reasons we reach a stage where the answer is because we do

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Im not confused as to why I dress as I overuled confusion a long time ago when asking why do men crossdress and finding so many varied answers that there is no answer which covers us all so no point in worrying about it.. Im a crossdresser its something I do and enjoy doing and not going to stop doing any time soon.

Thinking I really can't be bothered to Emmas suggestion Sindy get dolled up makes me think and wonder Why not? not even for your husband?

I would think as a man that most women would enjoy getting glammed up and feeling nice even relaxed when dressed nice and by nice I mean a nice dress, heels, makeup looking in the mirror and thinking wow?

YES now, after all these years with my wife, it's a HUGE deal - I would love to see her in a dress, makeup and heels far more often than special occasions like weddings. Id love to see her in a dress and heels etc most days for work and definitely when we go out (those rare occasions when we get baby sitters).

Its a HUGE deal for men and as ive said when this stops happening and wives suddenly make less effort with makeup, dresses and heels etc its a kick in the balls and a change in the relationship which isnt communicated it just seems to happen.... these same women can be found to bitch about the woman the same age who is still making the effort and wearing dresses and heels etc Who does she think she is? as happened a few weeks ago when I dropped my little one off at school and one teacher in heels and a dress and makeup got out of her car and walked into school the bitchyness of the mums outside the school almost led me to say "take a look in the mirror I think she looks great"

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There are always plenty of young women in heels I can stare at if I need a fix even in the super market and indeed most of us do oggle a women whos made an effort or looks nice or is wearing something we appreciate but there is an art to this ie we dont want to look like stalkers or perverts, we dont want to upset our wives or girlfriends obviously oggling another woman so its a stolen glance and wow she looks great in our heads.. but wed sooner be appreciating our wives and gfs dressed like the woman weve just oggled in the supermarket or at the pub.

If you were my wife would you be happy to catch me looking at some younger model in black tights and heels Sindy? Or would you be upset by this? I would think most women would be upset.

And yes there's always Davina! When I find time to dress I give myself a good ogle substitution dressing wearing things we wish our wives would wear more often or at all.

What Emma has done sees her happy and her husband happy she works she has a family life Ive seen her and chatted to her on cam she looks fab.

Whats wrong with occasionally dressing nice making an effort for your husband what a surprise that may be to brighten his day unexpectedly?

I bet most of us Crossdressers would love to sit and chat about make up and clothes and play dress up but that shouldnt make a woman feel jealousy towards the male life and the restrictions on feelings and how we should behave as women get more and more liberated in what they can do and achieve oh and what they can wear and how they can present.

Women seem to enjoy the visual side of things too and it quite disgusts me that women may flock to see a stripper whooping and hollering. You couldnt pay me to go into some event with a load of men to see a female stripper.

Getting older doesnt need to lower anyones attractiveness. Makeup makes this even easier for women.

Correct most men don't have a desire to get into all these 'feminine trappings' and crossdress but 99% of men if you asked them would want their wives and girlfriends to dress up for them and it does come as a shock to men when wives stop, moan about tights, wont wear stockings even for fun and complain about wearing high heels.

I dont think im any different from any other man crossdresser or not in struggling to get my head around why women stop dressing nice (how we perceive nice) and how they settle for (we have to find a name for this phenomenon) and how they are bitchy towards women who continue to make an effort sometimes refering to them as mutton dressed as lamb.

To sum up we do know what were doing, we dont take ourselves too serious, it does bug us sooooo much this stage some women reach which makes Sindy play the violin lol

Davina

Hi Sindy

NEWS FLASH*NEWS FLASH*NEWS FLASH*NEWS FLASH*NEWS FLASH*NEWS FLASH*NEWS FLASH

If your friends husbands say they don't care that their wives no longer dressing up they're lying.

All of my friends want their wives to dress up for them and they can't all be crossdressers! They moan if their wives don't look after themselves. Maybe it's a bit sexist but men like to be associated with a beautiful woman. There are plenty of 'trophy wives' out there to prove the point. And I'm not even sure most men pass the 'horny teenager' stage. Men are really from Mars! If you wanted to get your husband to do something for you'd stand more chance by dressing up then you would looking like something the cat dragged in. Sad but true - men are visual creatures.

Let's assume you leave your husband because he wants you to dress up nice when you go out.

What happens in a few years time when you decide you want to find a new partner? Will you dress up nice for your date? Irony!

Katie

Emma, yes I did say that, lol. They're ogling anyway and any man who says he isn't is a liar. Crossdressers ogle more than most because they like to study women and what we wear etc. No getting around this reality, so may as well take advantage of this and have my husband ogle others so I can be left alone! I seriously have no desire to go back to how I used to dress. That would be a deal breaker in the marriage for me - he can accept me as I am now (as he expects me to do of him!) or he can leave. I'm not going to start dressing uncomfortably and femininely to accommodate him. It's daft. I married an adult, not a horny teenage boy, and given how annoying I already find all this crossdressing stuff, this really would be the last straw for me.

How many more inane demands can one man make?

So there you have it. My violins are now playing, too, Davina, lol. I disagree entirely on this issue. I don't think crossdressers can ask their wives to dress femininely without the wife having the right to ask the crossdresser to stop crossdressing. After all, crossdressing is unfair and cruel because it takes away the masculinity we love so much. Fairs fair. Stop crossdressing, and I'll wear 6 inch heels every bloody day!

Given I know you'll never stop, suck it up peeps!

Hi all

I was at a stage where I would dress down drab and comfortable and it came to something when my husband confronted me with his crossdressing listing one reason that I had stopped making an effort to dress up nice.

This made me thought at first ok I could make more of an effort to put on makeup and dress how I’d been dressing for years but when we’d discussed this again he said great but I will still crossdress and maybe this crosses out one reason but there remained many others such as fun, escapism, enjoyment which has a good effect on him.

He explained he wants me to look my best as in his mind it will make me feel my best.

We shopped and had fun I changed my hair style we got him some things and in work that first Monday going into work in a dress and heels, makeup and a new hair style I was a bit taken aback by the nice comments I had in work and it made me think what did they think of me last week in trousers flat shoes and no makeup.

Then someone in work said to me they loved my new look or rather the return of my old look and how they thought it also brought the old me back.

Maybe it doesn’t work for everyone but it has had a good effect on me as a woman making the effort to look feminine every day and it’s made my other half a lot happier but still a cross dresser.

I recommend it girls don’t get stuck in a rut keep you and him happy it’s such a simple thing To do and I think it’s very underestimated by us women how it can effect men and make them seek a younger model.

Sindy did you really tell Davina to ogle younger women?

I will play the violin for Davina and anyway where is Mrs Davina?

Em x

Davina, actually I think a transsexual would agree with me - they're just ordinary women and will enjoy doing ordinary women things. Crossdressers prefer all the superficial stuff which is likely to insult a transsexual more than being compared to real women. Wouldn't you say?

And I agree - I think you're an incredibly misunderstood lot. I think we wives don't understand and I think you don't even understand yourselves. There are parts that can be clarified, but even here, I sense a confusion as to why you do this as much as the rest of us.

It's such a bummer that women and men are such polar opposites with this dressing up issue. Emma suggested I doll myself up in one of her posts and my first thought was 'oh lord, I really can't be bothered.' And I can't. I don't get any relaxing feelings when all dressed up and quite honestly, I'd be spending every minute wanting to take it all off. I totally understand why women only dress up for special occasions. Surely now, after all these years with your wife, it's not such a big deal? There are always plenty of young women in heels you can stare at if you need a fix, and there's always Davina! But I'm not about to do what Emma does and start dressing up more as it would be ludicrous for how I spend my days. And my nights are purely about sleep and if anyone even suggested I put on a pair of heels at the end of a long day I'd probably hit them over the head with them! lol

It's actually sort of interesting that my husband would probably love to sit and chat about make up and clothes and play dress up or whatever, whereas the older I get the more jealousy I feel towards the male life. Your side of things, the visual side I mean not work etc, just seems so much easier and men have that whole thing where getting older doesn't lower your attractiveness. In some cases, it makes you hotter to women! I think many women dress down as time goes on because we want to simplify our lives. Men do have this part sorted. And then you guys come along and want to get into all the time consuming make up and fashion and it's very confusing.

I guess we do need to remember here though that most men don't have a desire to get into all these 'feminine trappings'. It's easy to talk as though most couples are going through something similar, whereas I know other husbands who don't care their wives don't dress up anymore. I suspect being a crossdresser makes this more of an issue for you, Davina, than it might be for most others.

My daughter plays the violin much improved from the first day she brought it home..

If youve seen Drax in Guardians of the Galaxy picture me as him saying this "Do not crack up at the vision of me pouting like a teenage girl"

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If youve not seen the film seek out quotes from Drax on Youtube.

I dont pout like a teenage girl I may put on lipstick and pout like a 40 year old woman.

13 is certainly not where us crossdressers dwell as believe it or not some women dont give up on femininity..oooooooh

Do we ever mature from this stage? Of course we do we've just realised its fun to crossdress seems lots of women have forgotten and broken the unwritten terms of marriage and started dressing drab which is the reference to violins and make light of it but its a real kick in the balls for a man when you realise your wife cant be bothered any more for you let alone herself which maybe Emma can advise on.

It's not lack of time to dress and mature as Ive been dressing since I was 6 and putting on makeup trying to look convincing since I was 25 and its not an immature activity as most of us are intelligent and have stressful responsible jobs and family lives so were mature especially those of us who realise what crossdresing is and what it does for us.

It gives us an escapism hard to explain.

It is superficial and frivolous to you and to us and is definatley different from male life so consequently yep fun and relaxing and that is part of the reasoning behind it but its also for some a turn on, and for some dressing in things ones wife no longer wears especially where a wife or GF hits this drab stage and I know I keep on about it but you really dont understand the effect it has on us even to the point of depression when a wife becomes contented and stops wearing high heels etc etc

You may laugh but its true

If there's not much fun and frivolity in the lives of most busy adult women then thats their fault were all busy people we all need to make time for fun and frivolity especially in this day and age where most husbands and wives share chores and move away from thats mans work and thats womens work in the home as in the wife does all the house work and cooking and cleaning etc this is largely a thing of the past?

Im sure a transexual would have a fit reading "I think if you enjoy behaving as one of us, you're transsexual, not a crossdresser!"

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There aint no teenage girl inside me nor a 40 year old womea just a man and its nice to escape being that man be it playing sport and getting aggression out or as now when work has streessed me out along with a few other things in my life and my blood pressure is high and I feel ill and I know spending some time crossdressed and I all of a sudden find im much calmer. (inexplicable but works so why stop nothing to do with feeling like or emulating a teenager).

Don't expect the wife to join in is fair enough set this as a rule no problem but then dont huff and puff, tut and give the silent treatment when we go off or find some Me time to crossdress and likewise dont huff and puff and give the silent treatment when we show some displeasure in the way you dress or dont dress anymore

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Wives may be WAY past that stage after they get married but us visual men do not know this, no one teaches us this so we dont expect it and its a massive change for us when we find that wives have decided to stop making an effort "Stop making an effort" sounds harsh but ask a man to define it and he will say Im not happy shes "Stopped making an effort" we doubt ourselves wonder what weve done wrong

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You wont be indulging a teenage girl husband. My wife went to her friends the other day they were having a girls only sleepover (in their 40s) which I called Juvenile incidentally my wife didnt sleep over but 4 of them did.

There are plenty of other crossdressers to chat with but we all have the angst that we want to keep our wives happy, we all want them to be ok with crossdressing, we all want them to be like Emma and rediscover the fun of makeup and image and wearing dresses and heels but seems Emma is one in a million..

Id love to hit the town with Katie or rather share a cuppa behind closed doors maybe both crossdressed sharing makeup tips, discussing knitting and ironing techniques and how best to do the dishes proper girly chat. lol ..Which more likely would be chat about football, rugby and cricket.

Cossdressing and admitting it is also pretty awful, anxious and stressful made all the easier finding you have an open minded accepting wife and having told your wife or GF you remain fraught with many doubts and insecurities but social media has opened up our world to other tgirls / crossdressers which men in the clost with crossdressing in the past must have had it really hard not being able to communicate with other men or as Ive found some very accepting women.

One could say what were going through with the above hiding this secret away as social paraihs may be worse.

Kaite it takes me 15 mins to do my makeup once per month if lucky but since June ive only dressed twice when away with work in a hotel so a lot of catching up maybe but my wife says im very good at it .. I also have a gcse in Art lol

I would still love my wife to do my makeup but she says im better at it than her but a makeover would be even better from a pro who could probably make me look even more fem but I wont spend money on that I dont spend much on Davina time.

We are so misunderstood as straight occasional crossdressers and as men we wont admit it but we do have feelings

I think that point I was trying to make was that a teenage girl experimenting with make up, clothes etc will cram it all into a short space of time. Let's assume they start at 13. By the time they're 20 they have had over 1000 hour experience in putting on make up assuming only 30 minutes a day!

If Davina spends an hour a month piutting on make up, over 20 years that's only 240 hours. A lot of catching up. I've proabaly spent less than 30 hours in total trying out make up so that's a huge deficit. Is it any wonder we might like some help?

I don't think our mentaility is that of a teenage girl it's just the need to experiment and learn and who better to teach us than soemone with the experince.

Katie

Ah, that lovely sound of the violins again, lol.

Davina, I will admit I'm cracking up here at the vision of you pouting like a teen girl. Katie's right though - I'd say age 13 is about where most crossdressers seem to dwell. Do you ever mature from this stage? I'd also say nope! I don't know if it's so much a lack of time to dress and mature, or just the reality that crossdressing is a fairly immature activity and that's the point of it. It's superficial and frivolous and different from male life so consequently fun and relaxing. Isn't this the reasoning behind it? Let's face it, there's not much fun and frivolity in the lives of most busy adult women. I think if you enjoy behaving as one of us, you're transsexual, not a crossdresser!

So you might just have to embrace the teenage girl inside yourselves, but perhaps don't expect the wife to join in. We really are WAY past that stage by the time we get married and many women will have actual teenage daughters they're raising, so indulging a teenage girl husband is not exactly a priority lol. Maybe find another crossdresser to chat with, as Davina seems to be doing. I wonder why Davina and Katie, you guys don't hit the town together? I'd love to see photos of you hanging out!

I'll add a side note here that actual teenage girl years are pretty awful. It's an anxious, stressful, often catty time fraught with many doubts and insecurities and I can't even imagine how girls today navigate all this with social media. So be glad you're only experiencing a fantasy version of it - the reality would kill your crossdressing desires in an instant! Hey...I just had an idea...

:-D

Maybe correct ish but I’ve been putting makeup on for oh 20 years or so and kinda got it perfected.. there’s always contouring. And for that need to buy a contouring kit from primary or some cheap makeup shop as don’t like to spend too much on makeup seeing I only dress once a month if lucky.

Saying that I think I’ve only managed to dress twice since June with the summer hols and kids off then having work done in the house all work work work and no escapism hasn’t done my health any good.

I’d say there are loads of women the same for years done certain things with Makeup mainly basics and now trying co touring and all that jazz but as I was chatting to another t girl today we have this new or maybe it isn’t new phenomenon where wives got a certain wall and think .... sod it.

And at the same time is tgirls are scratching our heads so why exactly don’t you wear matching lingerie any more? You’re what content?

We’ll hang on a flippin minute we can soon unco tent you here’s a younger model lol.

But we don’t we suffer in silence no more Wife in a dress unless it’s a wedding, no more high heels ... unless she’s out with her mates leaving you to babysit... get the violin out Katie..

Then we sulk..... like teenage girls lol