By: Katie

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Busy times...

Davina

Your line manager has obviously noticed the pressure that you are under and I guess for everyones sake you should look at reducing the stress. It' sounds as if others are freewheeling whilst you're taking up the slack.

I think that you need to admit to yourself that you can't do it all before you can think of letting go of some of the responsibility.

If you don't then you could end up burning yourself out and then what happens to all the people relying on you? Every company should have in place a plan to replace a key worker so there should be people in the business who can step up to the plate and share the load. It's not a sign of weakness to ask for help it's a sensible and rational request. Your line manager seems like the guy to talk to has he understands the situation.

I know it's hard to delegate sometimes as you feel nobody can quite do it as well as you but you'll often be surprised by what people can actually do when asked. Sometimes fresh eyes on a problem can help solve it in a different way and wouldn't you find it rewarding to share your experience and mentor somebody?

The fact that you've taken time out your busy life to run this blog show you have a caring and thoughtful side to your nature. It's not all ALPHA male!

Anyway back to important stuff ;-)

The release of endorphins does reduce stress. There are loads of ways to boost their release from dark chocolate to laughing and exercise. Some of it is a chemical release, some of it is physical and some of it sensory.

I believe that crossdressing is both a physical and sensory stimuli in releasing endorphins.

It was interesting to read how you felt it was pleasurable to run your hands up and down your stockinged legs. Both a physical and sensory stimuli.

I was hanging out the washing this morning and was thinking about the difference in the touch and feel of women's clothing to mens. I guess that women take this all for granted because it's the way it's been for most of their lives and they get to choose this material. Men don't and so it will always hold an added pleasure.

Generally most men like the feel of women's lingerie and stocking when it's being worn by a woman. Some men like the feel when it's off a woman. And some men like the feel of it when they're wearing it! It's just different degrees of getting that pleasure!

The whole transformation process to being a scruffy bearded man to being dressed as an immaculate 'woman' is exciting. When I go for it I know that my heart beats in my chest at the excitement to such a degree that I can rush the process. This is going to be pumping those good old endorphins a round my body at a fair old pace so it is any wonder that we find it enjoyable and relaxing. Who wouldn't want those happy feelings?

Anyway food for thought.

By: Davina

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Busy times...

Davina isn’t busy lol but male me is very busy.

Managed a relaxing night away with work in a hotel Monday as Davina did my makeup well and stopped work on the laptop early and just chilled Crossdressed.

I had a 1-2-1 meeting today with my line manager and he’s pleased with my work ethic but has told me to step off the gas… however if I didn’t keep up the tempo of work things would go wrong in work.. deadlines where other departments have messed up wouldn’t be met.. I’m far too knowledgeable and no one else has my knowledge in chosen field and far too enthusiastic and my pride wont let things fail.. contentious I believe is the word but a lot of peoples lives depend on the work I do being right all over the UK.. I’m basically a super hero really lol.

Its not just the last quarter of the year its relentless all year round in my line of work.

Onto the thoughts for the week:

First, how is dressing like a woman even remotely helpful with stress?

I have no idea but it works and is in no way meant to be an insult to women, it's more a 'homage to women.

Maybe try dressing as a man and see if you feel more aggressive and Alpha lol.

It’s just total escapism and total opposite of how we are as men wearing things we find sexy or nice against our skin .. I was dressed in a hotel Monday night couldn’t stop running my hands up and down my stockings love the feel and sound.

Maybe Katie is right and it’s endorphins that are released in response to certain stimuli that reduce stress. In this case the stimuli is the act of crossdressing? Highly likely.

Shaving – I sometimes haven’t dressed as I’ve blogged because the designer stubbles looked cool and I do think I look hotter as a bloke especially if we’re booked to go out with friends or if I have a work meeting where I know I need to be more assertive and aggressive I’m likely to retain the stubble..

Also if I know I’ve not got a chance to dress I’ll let it grow..

I shave it then look in the mirror and think I don’t like how I look without stubble as a bloke but crossdressing helps me unwind and I need to be clean shaven to do it and it doesn’t take long for the face fuzz to return..

Not everything about crossdressing is positive no the guilt we get sometimes for doing it being the main negative..

By: Sindy

Subject: Re: Re: Busy times...

Thanks Katie. That's actually a very simple yet easy answer for wives to contemplate. My endorphins used to come from my creative work and before that exercise. Kids have wrecked all that for now, so I'm getting fake ones in the form of coffee and cocktails haha.

And yes it would work both ways. It's only my preference for stubble and beards whereas I know as many women who prefer clean shaven and think all men look better this way. Must be similar to men's preference for heels or skirts? If shaven floats your wife's boat and you also like it, then you're going to have an easier time with the dressing time, surely?

Me, I don't mind the 'man in a dress'. I do mind the Eurovision 'woman with a beard' as that just messed with my head. But I'm okay with men and female fashion and I wish my husband was too as then he wouldn't have to change anything. But he's a Davina 'all or nothing' dresser so alas, the beard comes and goes like the weather. x

By: katie

Subject: Re: Busy times...

Hi Sindy

I answer to your question it is the endorphins that are released in response to certain stimuli that reduce stress. In this case the stimuli is the act of crossdressing. As I've said before the skin is the most sensitive organ in the human body so the feel of women's clothing against our skin plus the visual stimulation acts to produce those stress busting endorphins.

I tend to have a bit of stubble most of the time. The other day I shaved and my kids asked me why I don't do it more often as it makes me look younger! My wife also says the same so I guess it goes both ways.

By: Sindy

Subject: Busy times...

Davina is obviously busy and hopefully finding ways to unwind during the work mayhem. The last quarter of the year I swear is always the worst. Christmas is looming for those of us with young kids...omg the trees are already in stores!

So here's the thoughts for the week:

First, how is dressing like a woman even remotely helpful with stress? This part I don't understand at all, and my husband has not said he does this but actions suggest he feels this way (dressing more during stressful times is sort of a giveaway). Shouldn't I, as a woman, feel a little insulted that pretending to be female makes your life feel less...complicated?

(By the way, I don't take offence anymore but other women might need an answer to this intriguing question)

Second, Davina's shaving post - not the body, but the face. Stubble and groomed beards are the 'thing' now and I love it. Men, I personally think, all look better with a bit of stubble or beard. So is it depressing to shave it off for dressing? And even if it grows back quick, are the days in between the annoying days where you don't feel yourself?

One of our kids hates when Daddy shaves. I can see the regret in my husband's eyes each time they make the 'you look weird, Daddy' comment. And they always do. I think he's always relieved when Mr Designer Beard is back in action.

I know it's who you are and what you do, but this part must suck. Not everything about crossdressing is a positive, is it? x

By: Sindy

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Busy times...

I think it is the clothes, Katie, but the emotional connection that goes with them. If someone gave you a female skin suit (ewwwww) and said put this on and you will look like a real naked woman but no clothes allowed, would this have the same affect on you?

My husband would still want the clothes, I'm sure of it.

For whatever reason, a connection was made that links women's clothing and appearance with beauty and relaxation and sex...etc. That's why a woman would need to have had the same experiences as a child/teenager wearing men's type clothing to have the same need for them. We usually don't though.

But maybe I'm wrong and you would wear the skin suit and get the same feeling as standard cross dressing??

And how do we come up with these questions still? We really are writing a wee novel here aren't we haha!

By: Davina

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Busy times...

If they had any sense they would reinvigorate my old section organisation as currently I have no one to give work to I'm a one man expert and if I leave well it all falls down as there is no one to bring up and educate behind me.. they really need to sort out their succession planning..

By: Katie

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Busy times...

Don't forget that we only dress for a short time. This isn't full time living so once the benefit has worn off we'll just get changed back. We all realise that it's not practical to live our lives in heels and skirts - real women don't.

I can see that it can gets uncomfortable. After a couple of hours my feet hurt and things start feeling a little tight so I get where you're coming from. It is a relief to get changed back sometimes!

Maybe you do get a subtle benefit from getting out of your 'traditional' feminine gear and into something more androgynous instead. Do you feel more relaxed, less stressed? If you do then you are getting a benefit.

Equally you can enhance your mood by getting dressed up.

I don't think that male or female hormones have anything really to do with how we react to clothes it is really those feel good endorphins which have no gender.

I think that all human beings enjoy feeling good. Endorphins give you the feel good sensation so why not chase them whether that's chocolate, exercise, laughter or crossdressing.

If you had to wear skirts, heels etc all the time then wouldn't be nice to sneak off and put on pair of tracks bottoms and trainer and just slob out? God it'd feel so nice to do something you were denied - just relax and let the whole experience wash over you instead of being up tight and stressed all the time.

So maybe we're not too different. It's just society accept women 'slobbing out' in the privacy of their own home, it's just men who can't dress up.

Katie

Footnote: I think that there is more to crossdressing than just the clothes but for me they play an important part.