Societies like to make the complex simple.

Davina - In terms of Crossdressing I think Society has made the simple complex..

They insist on taking gray situations and ideas and making them black or white.

Davina - Very true Crossdressing is treated as black and white fact v fiction the fiction being what most believe about Crossdressing.

In this way, people and situations can be more easily controlled and predicted, and the normal order can reign supreme.

Davina - This is also true we're controlled by the idiot box and front page headlines, told what to think.. Amimal Farm and 1984 aren't far off the controlling state and media ... Free thinking is the way forward and a big society.. my view on this.

Except, that isn’t realistic. We all know that human beings are very complex creatures and that life isn’t black or white.

While others may like to put us in a box to make things easier for them, some of us simply don’t fit.

I have had the pleasure of getting to know quite a few crossdressers through my practice.

They have come to me with feelings of guilt and confusion over their desire to wear the “wrong” clothes, the clothes that only the opposite gender is “supposed” to wear.

Davina - We've all been through this guilt, hiding what we do. And we've all been confused or why would we be on a site called Why do Men Crossdress?

Though they tried on their own to handle these desires and even conquer them, the majority felt powerless to stop.

Davina -Why stop, why deny yourself soething you enjoy.

Before we discuss “dealing” with your crossdressing desires, however, we need to make sure we are talking about the same thing.

Crossdressing vs. Transgenderism

Davina - I've not read this in advance I'm commenting as I go through the article ... Crossdresser = Transvestite but Transgenderism we're all on a Transgender spectrum and everyone on this forum is somewhere on that Trans spectrum or what I think is best descrbed as a sliding scale.

Transgender refers to a person who identifies with a gender that does not match their biological sex at birth.

Davina _ I don't agree with this 100% I have come to terms with being Trans to an extent not just a crossdresser as for me it's all or nothing I have to put on makeup wig heels the lot it's more than merely crossdressing and I get a feeling of escapism from it.

While a person may have been born a female with a female anatomy and female chromosomes, that person identifies as a “he” in their daily life and may even choose to have gender-corrective surgery at some point.

Davina - an i guess vice vera for us. Born male but feeling more feminine .. we hide feminine traits.

People who crossdress often have a gender identity consistent with their biological. For example, a heterosexual man may identify as a male and be attracted to only females and still take pleasure in cross-dressing in women’s clothing. (In fact, you’d probably be surprised by how common and truly normal that situation is.)

Davina - That's the box I'm in and many others here - Love women and I'm a straight alpha ttype male who enjoys presenting as a woman by crossdressing.

He does not wish to be female and he is not attracted to men,

Davina - Definately describes me.

... but he has a strong desire to explore his own femininity and feel beautiful.

Davina - This article and writer is more on point than the last i reviewed this to an extent describes me.. I explore my femininity or let my male side / fascade drop and i definately feel good when dressed and feel sexy.. I don't know about beautiful.

Are Crossdressing Desires Really Something You Need to “Deal” With?

That’s not an easy question to answer, as everyone’s situation is different.

What’s really important is to feel good about yourself and accept yourself for who you are. #

Davina - I believe this is spot on you have to be ok with yourself as a tgirl / crossdresser and have yur head firmly aligned around the fact you are a t girl and a good grasp of why and what you like / get out of it if you're ever thinking of or hoping for others to accept this side of you.

If you have feelings of shame or guilt, it’s important to talk to someone about those.

Davina - I got it down in my early blog, was lucky enough my wife accepted and I've chatted to lots of nice t girls and accepting wives of t girls.. some have found councelling has helped.. I know it is good to talk and sometimes easier to talk to another wife than your own.

You may feel perfectly happy with yourself, but your partner may not like the fact that you crossdress.

Davina - This writer is on the money most wives who accept i think would prefer we didnt crossdress and they have their fears.. mainly what if someone finds out!!.

What do you do in that situation?

Leave the relationship, or stop a behavior that makes you happy and is harmless to others?

Davina - Thsi big question and I think the strongest relationships make an agreement on crossdressing for it to continue in the background and no involvement or get involved which i think is the best way to whatever extent a wife or girlfriend is comfortable with. It's harmless. it can be fun.

The best advice I give my clients is to take some time to

• figure out what cross-dressing means to you.

• What value does it bring to your life?

• How does it affect your relationships?

• Does it negatively or positively impact the connection you have with others?

Davina - These are good quesitons .. What it means to me is my escapism from male me, stress and i find it fun, value is in its mental wellbeing stressbusting escapism for me, my wifes kinda ok with it so its ok in our relationship and i think its a positive.

Though society would like to put you into a box, you are a unique individual and your journey in life is yours alone.

Only you can decide if cross-dressing is right for you.

Davina Summary - Good article I wish the writer had written a bit more as they sound like they've done some good research on this and are on the right track.

Davina