By: Sindy
Subject: Reality check...
Sorry peeps, but we've descended into crossdressing La La Land again. The 'if I just have a wee chat with my wife she'll understand and we can start sharing it together'.
Yeah, except it ain't that simple. And even Emma and Sarah's wife won't yet comprehend what I'm talking about.
How about you add a decade or more to the equation. How does this look then? How do you feel 15 or 20 years later when hubby strolls into the bedroom, yet again, in that tarty blonde wig, stockings and heels? Yet again, he wants to watch 'girly' movies and paint each other's nails while you're eyeballing the book you'd rather read or the laundry you'd rather fold. From my end, it looks pretty damn dull. I'm thinking 'I can't believe my husband is still doing this. Hasn't he got bored yet?!' Seriously. A decade later, do I feel like going on a 'girls' night out? Having make over sessions? Discussing how much fun it is to buy clothes and dress up?
I want to roll my eyes and go sleep in another room. Sorry, but it's not so interesting a decade later. Not to mention, I have plenty of female friends to have girl nights out with and only ONE husband, so if he's expecting me to play 'girls night' with him then I'm going to need a spare husband.
But hey, find out for yourselves. Indulge the dressing for a decade. Better yet, chat to some other wives who aren't on forums buzzing about how wonderful it is to have a crossdressing husband. Ignore those few minority women and talk to the rest. Ask the ones who have been living with it for years and years whether they still find it fun or intimate. Look for the truth instead of finding what you want to see.
Sure, there are women out there who don't mind indulging the same thing over and over and OVER again. They're in the minority. For the rest of us, it eventually wears thin and we're much happier when we stop being involved. Some women will even start out like Emma and end up with less tolerance than a football player. So sure, live in La La Land and keep insisting your wives join in. But please, don't be a completely ignorant douche and forget who is actually the crossdressser here. Don't project your need and compulsion onto others so that you eventually believe they like it as much as you.
Because, I highly doubt it.
So be careful what you're asking for. You're in the early days when things are always rose-tinted. If I were a cross dressing man, I'd work on learning to be happy whether my wife is involved or not. Because once you start down the La La path, you might find you're walking it alone.
Anyway, two cents from Sindy who's keeping it real, as always. x
By: Sindy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Reality check...
I got the analogy and you're right - men can obsess about anything lol. At least the cricket wife can tell friends and family why he's so preoccupied. Not so much the wife of a cross dresser.
But compromise is key so you're also right that couples must keep communicating. Though, why the dressing keeps changing is a bit of an enigma. If you're in control of it surely you can just make a decision not to allow it to progress? Otherwise you're admitting that you're powerless over it which makes it far more damaging than other hobbies. It's more in line with addiction, yes?
Anyway that's off topic, but I'm sure it's a large reason why it's easier to accept cricket. It's not only the taboo aspect but the way crossdressing slips into a mans psyche and alters who he is and even his behavior. The worry then becomes 'who is in control?'.
In the cases of the failed marriages, the behavior was allowed to lead. But there are plenty of still married women living unhappily with a crossdresser who keeps pushing the boundaries.
All this is a bubble and there are infinitely more important issues. So why does this consume your lives then? If we were living an existence like Syria, I'd be very disappointed in my husband if he was still having crossdressing thoughts. Yet, that's the difference between cricket and crossdressing. I have a feeling all of you would continue with the urges even in the middle of a war. Inappropriate, yes, but that's the nature of this thing. So new wives need to understand what they're getting into. Women can't make informed decisions about joining in etc, if they think it's just a hobby.