By: Sindy
Subject: After thought...
And you know, as an example of how unbalanced things can still be between men and women, isn't it odd that women get labeled 'crossdressers wives.' Footballers wives. Politicians wife.
Where are all the 'netball husbands'??
Women are not an extension of their husbands. We are individuals. But as long as we're made to feel this way, crossdressing will be a problem in marriage.
By: Katie
Subject: Re: Re: Re: After thought...
I don't think its the label 'crossdressers wife' that is the problem. The partner of the main subject will always get the anonymous tag line. Davina McCall and her husband?
The issue is that Sindy and other wives/partners are the wife of a crossdressers with all the social stigma that that entails. When I asked the question about it being a 'burden' this was really the response I was expecting. Maybe keeping the secret is not a burden but a wife / partner will always have the same fears that we, as crossdressers, have about being found out. It can affect us and our families both socially and financially which is why many of us decide to keep in private and in many cases from our wives and partners.
It doesn't make it right but it does give an element of protection for the ones you love.
My biggest concern is always for my wife and children. I know the easy answer is just 'give it up' but I think that that demonstrates the huge need that I and many others have to crossdress. As I said before if there was a pill then I'd take it.
I get Davina's points about it being harmless fun and a good way to relax. It is. But this fear will exist until it becomes socially acceptable which I think is a long way off. I don't see it happening in my lifetime anyway or at least for people of my generation!
Transgender individuals who decide to live their lives as women are becoming more accepted with high profile people such as Caitlyn Jenner. However, for normal people changing your sex can have a devastating effect on their lives and that of their families.
Crossdressers don't want to change sex and although we share some of the same social problems as transgender people I do believe that our wiring is not the same and their need for gender expression and identity are different from our own (CDs).
Changing peoples opinions one by one is a difficult task. But as with anything going viral it only takes a few to be on message to get it out to the whole world. Or at least those with the intelligence to understand that we are all individuals and different from each other.
I don't think that men being accepted as crossdressers will suddenly mean an army of men tottering about in high heels and dresses. It is still a private matter and although some people will want acceptance by dressing in public this would still be rare.