Love doing my own makeup.I'd like a makeover to see what a pro could do to make me look fem, love my bobbed blonde wig and have a few I need to try and to style.Chance to dress would be good.Few more weeks and kids back in school and I'll be able to dress.Going out dressed is nice, done it a few times leaving the hotel room when away with work and once out in London with my wife .I do fancy trying Blackpool as we've never been and know I could dress there without any hassle. Hope soon to be able to dress but not had quality time to dress and chill for a long time.Think we've talked trans spectrum in here somewhere.Think I even tried to draw one out once to try to show where I thought I sat along it.
Yeah thats going to be a hell of a party isn't it, a real mood killer, all your friends and family sat there open mouthed while it sinks in that the person they thought they knew isn't the same person and has kept this big secret all their lives.
(Cue the tumble weed) 😆
But then your wife or partner has to face it that everyone you both know now knows and at some point she'll have to deal with the question that they should be asking you as the crossdresser.
I've learnt a lot more about crossdressing since I've been out in the community and met all kinds of different crossdressers and transgender girls.
We've talked about the scale that all crossdressers and trans women and men are on.
I agree with the fact that as crossdressers we are transgender, its just we aren't as far along the scale as transgender folk who want to transition fully or are happy with taking hormones but don't want to have any kind of operation, but as T-Girls we are further along the scale as the occasional crossdresser who only likes to wear a pair of knickers ar a pair of tights now and again, they have no desire to put on makeup or go out and spend the weekend as a woman as I've done.
The only reason I don’t go any further and want to spend my evening as Catriona is because my wife isn't that accepting and thats where I draw the line for her as I know she'd be uncomfortable about that.
And this is how I'd explain it to people who have no idea of what it means to be a crossdresser, 'We are trans to a degree' and the fact that because you call yourself a crossdresser may not always be the case, you may find that eventually you want to progress further along the scale and then stop when you feel you've got to the point that you're happy with, that point will be different for every single person.
What all crossdressers T-Girls and transgender girls have in common is, we where born like this, dont ask a crossdresser why she does it, if she's honest she'll just say because its something I have to do, its as simple as that, no different to asking a gay man or a lesbian why they are attracted to the same sex! They just are as thats how they where born.
The sooner people who aren't trans understand that the better and easier it will be for us.
Unfortunately it takes a long time to actually sink in for people who don't or won't want to accept.
Wow. Interesting read. I've never, ever thought of myself as even remotely Transgender. I'm a little shocked right now tbh. My instant reaction is to disagree but I'm going to have to think about this.....I'll come back to this later 🤔🤔🤔
@Suzzanne Its weird but we are on the trans spectrum but i don't really think of myself as trans I'm a crossdresser but i need to dress fully wig makeup the lot or not at all..
Every day is a school day. I've never really looked tbh. Guess I'm gonna Google it 🤔.I'm happy in lingerie and a dress. I have some wigs but only two 2 look good ( Bob style) until I get to grips with styling the rest. I'd love to do makeup myself but don't have the time or the skills if I'm dressing when I can and in secret. I'm going to go to a Dressing Service close by when we are allowed to mix again for makeup and a photo shoot in a few of my own dresses and probably a place in Liverpool when I next visit family in the area. My bucket list has a place for going out 'the whole hog' once. It's not something I'm into as a regular thing but it's something I'm going to have to do, just once, just for me.
I think I'm lucky Esme knows and is accepting.I think all t girls who's wives accept to any extent are lucky.I think to if I'd not told her would in have had the time to practise makeup, buy and wear a wig and be a full on or nothing tgirl?Not that I am as can't blooming dress.So thinking if others knowing indeed telling others isn't on my radar.Took Esme 8 years from telling her to her meeting me dressed and we live together and talked about it when we both could and were in the mood and right timing.. You just wouldn't have that sort of opportunity with extended family unless you had some sort of coming out party lol. Surprise no don't leave I'm not a butter honest.. I just dress cos its fun and relaxing.. As everyone's getting their coats and leaving before the Tranny chainsaw masacre commences.. Its a hobby steeped in outside views and thought even agony aunts give awful advice and don't get why we do it.. The younger generation stand a chance although I think the covet trans in school but not cross dressing as had conversations on sexuality and gender with my oldest a few times but she's never questioned crossdressrs.Its a biggy telling and extended friend or family group and if it goes wrong could have consequences sadly.Dsvina
Everything thats been mentioned in this discussion of why we wouldn't want to tell friends and family is exactly the reason why we never want to tell anyone in the first place, wives and girlfriends included, this is why we stay in the closet for years and years, going over how people will react, people always judge, even on this forum, its human nature that we can't help and an automatic reaction.
I wonder how you perceive friends and family would react as opposed to how they would actually react. I think that that creates a fear in all of us when we decide to keep or share our secrets. We always expect the worst.
If friends or family thought badly of you for being / married to a crossdresser what dose that tell you about them?
That's the risk if you lead a macho male life is people finding out you cross dress and if not controlled they all make assumptions about the cross dresser and the wife or girlfriend.So same here will be mine and Esme's thing.
The worry is the secret spreading, tell my sister she tells my brother in law he tells his sister they have a dim image of me and my husband.
Its a hard one.
Friends of ours would not think hes a dresser they'd have no clue that he has this softer side as they just see the man.
I think one or two of my close friends would be ok with its that itch of a secret that you want to tell someone "you'll never guess what"
Its a toss up but we're happy having our girls night in, the odd makeover with a complete stranger doing our makeup non judgemental and her career and business not to tell people shes been making over tgirls and the odd trip out as girls.
I wouldn't be the least bit embarrassed and would explain my dressing but some wouldn't want to know and assume whatever they think abut crossdressers also applies to me.
My wife may be embarrassed?.. She'd have to answer that.
I don't care less about buying things in a shop for Davina, easier if Esme does it but I've told shop sales assistants the things I've bought when on my own were for me .. they didn't believe me i don't think. Not had that question for ages.
Asda last time i bought some stockings and a pair of heels and paid in the clothes department and the woman said they for you and i said yes i cant wait to go home and try the heels on she giggled but know she didn't believe me..
I have thought about telling other people but I'd need to speak to my wife about it all before I said anything to anyone else as I know she'd feel pretty embarrassed about it.
My wife has told her best friend and the 3 of us have been on a night out together. But when she got home her daughter found picture from the night out and asked the question was I a cross dresser as she knew it was the 3 of us going out 😱 so we told her no point lying at that point
Wow that's cool would love to go out with my wife and her best friend.
We'd have such a good laugh I'm sure.
Cool you were brave enough to admit it's you in the photo hope that's still going well and your secret wasn't push out. That's my wifes fear i think if someone we know knew then it may leak.
They cant even keep a leak schtum in parliament let alone in a family or friendship group etc once someone knows a chance of a hey you'll never guess what...
A friend of mine knows hes a crossdresser I confided and shes told me that shes not told anyone not even her husband.
He knows she knows and she has teased him.
We've been out and bumped into her shopping and shes said oh look at that dress that would suit you which turned him pink with embarrassment haha so evil. Shes even bought him girly birthday presents his last one from her was a pair of stockings lol.
Shes been here when hes dressed and again he was embarassed but shes met him as her. She cant get over knowing the man him likes to crossdress but then most of you tgirls are probably the same?
You lot also know hes a crossdresser but you don't know male him so that doesn't count.
No one else in our circle of friends or family know and happy to keep it that way.
Just my wife. I told her she cried asked if I wsd Gay did I want to become a woman and was it her fault I was a Cross dresser.8 years later she met me dressed fully and it was a bit of a eureka moment for her I think. As far as I know no one else knows in the family (unless shes secretly confided in someone) and my wife wants to keep it that way. Doesn't want the kids to know.
Love doing my own makeup. I'd like a makeover to see what a pro could do to make me look fem, love my bobbed blonde wig and have a few I need to try and to style. Chance to dress would be good. Few more weeks and kids back in school and I'll be able to dress. Going out dressed is nice, done it a few times leaving the hotel room when away with work and once out in London with my wife . I do fancy trying Blackpool as we've never been and know I could dress there without any hassle. Hope soon to be able to dress but not had quality time to dress and chill for a long time. Think we've talked trans spectrum in here somewhere. Think I even tried to draw one out once to try to show where I thought I sat along it.
Yeah thats going to be a hell of a party isn't it, a real mood killer, all your friends and family sat there open mouthed while it sinks in that the person they thought they knew isn't the same person and has kept this big secret all their lives.
(Cue the tumble weed) 😆
But then your wife or partner has to face it that everyone you both know now knows and at some point she'll have to deal with the question that they should be asking you as the crossdresser.
I've learnt a lot more about crossdressing since I've been out in the community and met all kinds of different crossdressers and transgender girls.
We've talked about the scale that all crossdressers and trans women and men are on.
I agree with the fact that as crossdressers we are transgender, its just we aren't as far along the scale as transgender folk who want to transition fully or are happy with taking hormones but don't want to have any kind of operation, but as T-Girls we are further along the scale as the occasional crossdresser who only likes to wear a pair of knickers ar a pair of tights now and again, they have no desire to put on makeup or go out and spend the weekend as a woman as I've done.
The only reason I don’t go any further and want to spend my evening as Catriona is because my wife isn't that accepting and thats where I draw the line for her as I know she'd be uncomfortable about that.
And this is how I'd explain it to people who have no idea of what it means to be a crossdresser, 'We are trans to a degree' and the fact that because you call yourself a crossdresser may not always be the case, you may find that eventually you want to progress further along the scale and then stop when you feel you've got to the point that you're happy with, that point will be different for every single person.
What all crossdressers T-Girls and transgender girls have in common is, we where born like this, dont ask a crossdresser why she does it, if she's honest she'll just say because its something I have to do, its as simple as that, no different to asking a gay man or a lesbian why they are attracted to the same sex! They just are as thats how they where born.
The sooner people who aren't trans understand that the better and easier it will be for us.
Unfortunately it takes a long time to actually sink in for people who don't or won't want to accept.
Cat xxx
I think I'm lucky Esme knows and is accepting. I think all t girls who's wives accept to any extent are lucky. I think to if I'd not told her would in have had the time to practise makeup, buy and wear a wig and be a full on or nothing tgirl? Not that I am as can't blooming dress. So thinking if others knowing indeed telling others isn't on my radar. Took Esme 8 years from telling her to her meeting me dressed and we live together and talked about it when we both could and were in the mood and right timing.. You just wouldn't have that sort of opportunity with extended family unless you had some sort of coming out party lol. Surprise no don't leave I'm not a butter honest.. I just dress cos its fun and relaxing.. As everyone's getting their coats and leaving before the Tranny chainsaw masacre commences.. Its a hobby steeped in outside views and thought even agony aunts give awful advice and don't get why we do it.. The younger generation stand a chance although I think the covet trans in school but not cross dressing as had conversations on sexuality and gender with my oldest a few times but she's never questioned crossdressrs. Its a biggy telling and extended friend or family group and if it goes wrong could have consequences sadly. Dsvina
Everything thats been mentioned in this discussion of why we wouldn't want to tell friends and family is exactly the reason why we never want to tell anyone in the first place, wives and girlfriends included, this is why we stay in the closet for years and years, going over how people will react, people always judge, even on this forum, its human nature that we can't help and an automatic reaction.
Cat xx
I wonder how you perceive friends and family would react as opposed to how they would actually react. I think that that creates a fear in all of us when we decide to keep or share our secrets. We always expect the worst.
If friends or family thought badly of you for being / married to a crossdresser what dose that tell you about them?
Katie x
That's the risk if you lead a macho male life is people finding out you cross dress and if not controlled they all make assumptions about the cross dresser and the wife or girlfriend. So same here will be mine and Esme's thing.
The worry is the secret spreading, tell my sister she tells my brother in law he tells his sister they have a dim image of me and my husband.
Its a hard one.
Friends of ours would not think hes a dresser they'd have no clue that he has this softer side as they just see the man.
I think one or two of my close friends would be ok with its that itch of a secret that you want to tell someone "you'll never guess what"
Its a toss up but we're happy having our girls night in, the odd makeover with a complete stranger doing our makeup non judgemental and her career and business not to tell people shes been making over tgirls and the odd trip out as girls.
Emma (Wife)
I wouldn't be the least bit embarrassed and would explain my dressing but some wouldn't want to know and assume whatever they think abut crossdressers also applies to me.
My wife may be embarrassed?.. She'd have to answer that.
I don't care less about buying things in a shop for Davina, easier if Esme does it but I've told shop sales assistants the things I've bought when on my own were for me .. they didn't believe me i don't think. Not had that question for ages.
Asda last time i bought some stockings and a pair of heels and paid in the clothes department and the woman said they for you and i said yes i cant wait to go home and try the heels on she giggled but know she didn't believe me..
Yeah its all about being embarrassed as far as I can see.
I know how she reacted when I first told her about me being a crossdresser and how I would like us to go shopping together for clothes for Cat.
She was worried what people would think of me buying dresses in a shop and her being there.
That's cool
Just me and Esme (my wife) in the know here.
I feel so sorry for t girls who's wives have rejected them and dressing or those afraid to confess they dress.
I think my wifes circle of fem friends would be amazed i dress but would also love to take me out dressed lol
Rachel has finally arrived into a loving female circle who excepts her for who she is and wants her to be truly happy 😘
It would be so much easier if we could let others know.. awesome your friend knows and you've had a night out
Oh, why can’t we all just be happy and get alon
Same Cat Esme doesn't want anyone we know to know hence when we went out it was miles away from home.
Only my wife knows about Catriona.
I have thought about telling other people but I'd need to speak to my wife about it all before I said anything to anyone else as I know she'd feel pretty embarrassed about it.
My wife has told her best friend and the 3 of us have been on a night out together. But when she got home her daughter found picture from the night out and asked the question was I a cross dresser as she knew it was the 3 of us going out 😱 so we told her no point lying at that point
A friend of mine knows hes a crossdresser I confided and shes told me that shes not told anyone not even her husband.
He knows she knows and she has teased him.
We've been out and bumped into her shopping and shes said oh look at that dress that would suit you which turned him pink with embarrassment haha so evil. Shes even bought him girly birthday presents his last one from her was a pair of stockings lol.
Shes been here when hes dressed and again he was embarassed but shes met him as her. She cant get over knowing the man him likes to crossdress but then most of you tgirls are probably the same?
You lot also know hes a crossdresser but you don't know male him so that doesn't count.
No one else in our circle of friends or family know and happy to keep it that way.
Hannah (Wife)
Just my wife. I told her she cried asked if I wsd Gay did I want to become a woman and was it her fault I was a Cross dresser. 8 years later she met me dressed fully and it was a bit of a eureka moment for her I think. As far as I know no one else knows in the family (unless shes secretly confided in someone) and my wife wants to keep it that way. Doesn't want the kids to know.