Gender expression is really a way of labelling how much someone does for does not present in line with gender norms. So for a crossdresser it means we are gendered as male but appear as female in our clothing, although it can also include such things as grooming (no body hair) mannerisms, gait, voice etc,
Gender norms enable us to use terms such as 'feminine' and 'masculine' and we can have a universal understanding of what we are talking about. For example if we didn't define wearing tights as 'feminine' then wearing tights would just be wearing tights and we wouldn't be crossdressers. There is no written rule about what is 'feminine' what is 'masculine' and what is 'androgynous'. It is very much down to individuals interpretation and to a degree it is what we are taught by others as we grow up. A little boy wanting to dress as a princess has no knowledge that he is breaking gender rules until he is told by an adult. Adults ruin all the fun!
The difficulty for crossdressers and others under the trans* umbrella going against gender norms creates problems and assumptions. If you are cisgender then you can live where you like, eat where you want, go out when you want and even pee where you you want. For someone expressing as the opposite gender some of these things are denied or very difficult. Expressing your gender that doesn't fit into a neat box can also result in violence. Quite often how you express can lead to your sexuality being questioned. The assumption is that if you are feminine then you are gay (femininity = wanting to attract men).
I know that we bang on about how relaxing and how much fun it is to crossdress but resisting the urge to crossdress to satisfy those around you a can lead dissonance between you and those pushing you to conform. This can lead to an increased likelihood of experiencing anxiety and depression.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if all things associated with gender such clothes, mannerisms, demeanour etc were simply seen as aspects of an individuals expression and not policed by those around us.
Katie x
Gender expression is really about feeling comfortable in what you do. You dress in a feminine way because of how it makes you feel. The shame is that dressing that way and going against societies gender norms can also bring with it stresses.
Much to Davina's horror I don't always feel the need to put on make up and a wig. This increase me on the feminine scale whilst not increasing me on the masculine scale. If I have a bit of stubble then maybe that even increases me on the masculine scale which is why a spectrum doesn't work. I'm still the same person just my femininity scale has increased so no 90/10 or 10/90. It's 100% me just expressing in a different way. It's my individual expression.
Brighton is a pretty good town to observe people expressing their individualism. Sometimes they are pretty unique and other times they may find other people who like expressing themselves in a similar way. Goth, punks, 50s etc. If I go to the football at the Amex there are plenty of overweight 50+ year old men in tight Brighton shirts living the dream. They wear it to feel part of a group, to belong. I know some of them are accountant and solicitors an would never wear it to work or on a casual day out!
I leek to dress in a certain way. I like to feel part of a group which includes men and women. There are plenty of women who don't dress in the way I do and even more men lol. But I derive enjoyment form dressing in that way the same as the bloke in the Brighton shirt.
Just my thoughts anyway.
Katie x
90% of my time as a man i express as an alpha male.. This can be stesssful in itself having to keep up the bbravado of being Alpha man in work and at home when your kids think you're secretly Batman and your wife wants James Bond (a faithful one).. When you can't let yourself cry at a funeral or at a sad movie.. 10% of the time the softer male me comes out the compassion when required and the nurturing and coaching side... Then I crossdres s and it reverses 90% feminine and 10% still the bloke.
Cross dressing allows the Alpha male some time off to chill.. I don't feel masculine and feminine within myself day to day my hobby comes and goes with urges for.escapism as I added in urge v opportunity.. I'm a man first and foremost and enjoy being a man but have this as escapism and can't really claim to feel feminine only what I believe to.feel.feminine to feel like myself the wives may explain that I can't feel.feminine as I'm a man.. But I can try to look it and pretend from time to time..
DAvina