By: Sindy
Subject: Gender issue?
We've all been busy I assume, which is good as if we're sitting around thinking about crossdressing all day then we need help lol! Anyway, here's a question for you today. I have seen this written a lot. Thoughts are appreciated.
The question is: Are ALL crossdressers dealing with a gender issue?
Yes, it's been repeated many times here that it's purely fun. My husband says the same. Over and over. And yet, so many others say cross dressing, even for fun, is a gender issue.
I know you might hate me, but I'm inclined to agree. And not because I think you're a bunch of sissies who are pretending to be men. I mean, because I think you were little boys with a more balanced idea of gender. You liked things about girls. You admired them. You wanted to experience things from the other side.
We girls do this too.
So I do think it's a gender thing. I think it's light and fun and you're certainly not TG (in my mind, only those in the wrong body should be considered trans), but behind it is a more serious need to express something of yourselves that society says you're not allowed. Traits that girls seem to have. Testosterone just comes along and complicates the whole thing for you.
Anyway, back to busy. :-)
By: Emma RG
Subject: Re: Re: Gender issue?
I'm still here just nothing to add at this point.
I'm still making more of an effort with makeup and how I'm dressing and my other half had actually said he's not had the urge so much since I've been putting on makeup and heels for work and making more effort for him when we've been out on the weekend.
So maybe something in the compensation you mentioned Davina.
By: Katie
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Gender issue?
Sorry for not joining in the debate earlier but too busy with the Euro's (referendum and Football), kids football and cricket!
I think the difficulty is that you can only say how you feel. I've no idea how a woman feels and I'm sure that how one woman feels is different to another. What I can say is I know what it feels like to dress as a woman (I assume that the clothes feel the same on whoever's body they are on). I know how it feels like to walk in heels, pull on a skirt, wear tights, stockings and a bra. I know the pain in ass it must be having to put on makeup everyday to go out the house. I know the angst there is having just removed hair to see little bits of stubble popping through the next day!
Maybe when a crossdresser describes feeling feminine they are really empathising with women knowing what they go through to look so good!
There maybe different connotation in the meaning of clothes for a GG or a crossdresser but they still feel the same it's just the additional feeling that they induce that are different.
Does sexy lingerie make a woman feels sexy or does she think 'God do I have to wear this uncomfortable stuff just to please my partner'? Do heels, stocking etc have the sam effect or are they just part of everyday life?
Gender is a matter of opinion and whether something is masculine or feminine is open to dispute. Is pink feminine or masculine? Pink for girl, blue for a boy. Before the 1940 in the US it was the other way around. Can men wear pink shirts without feeling feminine? Sure they can. Shaved legs - masculine or feminine? The list can go on and we can challenge if each actually defines masculinity or femininity or if it's just a label of convenience that cover how the majority of one sex act.
I think that Gender dysphoria is a different animal altogether. If you are physically repulsed by the body you have and feel the need to change your sex or die then you are not a crossdresser. You may crossdress but it is only to hide the body you have and give the outward appearance of the sex and body you want. I don't believe that a person with gender dysphoria would get the same feeling as a 'Davina' type crossdresser in wearing women clothes. I'm guessing that they get the same feeling about dressing as a woman and every other GG. You just do it.
Katie
PS I've been well trained not to leave a wet towel on the floor. It's just the kids now!
By: Davina
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Gender issue?
Was the bath towel picked up last night?
It's ok I'm not your husband as I know my wife's not been watching weird tv. Lol
She's too busy watching cake boss, home makeovers, men with 4 wives, people with umpteen kids and other rubbish.
Thank god for Euro 16 and 3 games per day at the moment
By: Sindy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Gender issue?
Haha! I have been watching a weird show about weird human habits. Amazing what it reveals and the path it can lead to when bored and curious about 'what else'. People are really odd lol.
And actually, there are men who feel like babies when dressed as one. The same as Furries - some seriously feel like they are animals. I would think this is very much like some crossdressers. It's just easier to accept crossdressing than someone wanting to be a baby or ferret. Are they inherently different? I don't know but the way these men describe their feelings I'd say not much different. I think if a man can feel like a woman, which is kind of weird in itself, then why not a baby or an animal? When a man says he's a woman how can we prove otherwise? How can he prove he is?
He can't. So I guess it's all a grey area and I figure it's best to believe how people self describe. I believe you dress only for fun. I'm not sure I believe you'll pick up the bath towel haha.
By: Davina
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Gender issue?
Furies and balloons - WHAT? You're into some weird stuff lol
There is a difference between these kinks and Crossdressing.
Along with the nice feelings and the way it makes us feel to "transform" and to look more like women to the best of our ability the feeling of the clothes on us mainly being clothing we like to see on women (and would like our wives to wear for us occasionally as we dress occasionally) and the sexiness and the escapism etc is also another thing - We love women, we fancy women we're crossdressing as women to emulate women and relax, get off, feel different..
Do Furries what every they are dress as they really admire what that's all about? Some men dress as babies but I bet they don't really like babies?
Crossdressing is different ...
And OK point taken I will pick up the towels starting tonight xx
By: Sindy
Subject: Re: Re: Gender issue?
Seriously Davina, are you sure you're not my husband?? lol. He could have said ALL of that. His reasons are exactly the same. If you are my husband, can you please stop leaving your wet towel on the bathroom floor! :-)
And I've heard that 'feeling feminine' thing on forums many times. I think what they mean is 'feeling nice/relaxed etc' but for some reason, maybe it's the clothes, they associate it with feminine feelings. And really, what the hell does feminine feel like? I figure the only way to ever correct this is switch their bodies with actual women for a day and they'd fast realize that what they feel has nothing to do with women. We seriously don't feel this way...like, ever. It's like saying I feel masculine today. What does that even mean?? Definitely one of the weirder, more confusing parts of crossdressing, yet so very common.
I also figure if I swapped a crossdresser into the body of say, a Furry, that he would also realize these 'feminine feelings' he gets when dressed are amazingly felt by men doing other things. Furries also feel relaxed, nice, happy, giggly when dressed in their squirrel suit lol. If you switch 'feminine feelings' to 'funny nice feelings' I'm certain they're all the same. Crossdressing, Furries, Balloon lovers (ah yes, the balloon kink...and they say women are the weird ones lol) all get these same feelings when indulging. But I guess part of the thrill for cross dressers is imagining that their crossdressing has miraculously morphed them into a feminine being and all feelings that come from it are the pure, soft, girly kind. If they accepted that it came from the testosterone coursing through their veins that would be a total buzzkill. Yet, realistically, that's exactly where these feelings arise. But hey, it's their buzz - they gotta do what they gotta do.
By: Davina
Subject: Re: Gender issue?
Are ALL crossdressers dealing with a gender issue?
NOT ME My gender is "I'm a Bloke" and when I'm Crossdressed and looking fabulous in stockings, heels ,makeup, long blonde hair and a dress guess what?
"I'm still a bloke"
Some people say things like "It makes me feel so Feminine when I dress up"... Well for me it makes me feel more relaxed, a lil horny and it de-stresses me so is that what women feel like / it feels lie to be fem? lol
There isn't an ounce of Sissy in me despite Crossdressing but maybe I wouldn't mind the shoe on the other foot and for my wife to take charge sometimes instead of me being more dominant in our relationship.
I don't think when I was a little lad and crossdressing I thought about gender I mean to say I didn't dress up and think look at me I look like a little girl.. I was just wearing things which felt nice which progressed to a realisation of sexy lingerie and women as I got into teenage years and I was still a bloke or boy but never thought of gender and certainly never thought of sexuality as I was dressing getting myself off thinking of women and girls and how id like to have a woman or GF dressed in sexy lingerie.
Admired girls? Fancied girls more like..
Experience things from the other side - more like fantasised how it would be to be with a woman or girl wearing the things i was wearing.
Agreed I'm not Trans in the slightest i'm a Crossdresser and Proud lol.
Behind crossdressing is a more serious need to express something of ourselves that society says we're not allowed? Maybe and maybe not its just dressing up and putting on makeup nothing more than that its fun its relaxing its different its total escapism from male me nothing too complicated.
Testosterone yes I have lots of that.