By: Katie

Subject: Re: Personal chit chat

Sometimes it's struggle to think back that far! We've been married for coming up 24 years but when we were first together she was a size 12 from memory. Maybe even slipping to a 14 at times. I used to play a lot of sport at weekend but still liked the occasional beer!

My wife lost quite a bit of weight when she had the boys. It was quite a dramatic time as they were in hospital for 9 weeks (just over 3 pounds each at birth) and looking after twin boys was pretty frantic. I helped out as much as I could but she also suffered from the baby blues so it was a tough first year.

Her weight dropped and she is now a size 8/10. She does take pride in her appearance and even following her latest hair disaster (cut too short) still looks good. Most people can't believe she's 50.

She does have her housework gear as I have my DIY gear but even in her skinny jeans she looks good especially when combined with her biker jacket! I don't need to see her in a dress and heels but then maybe I'm spoilt because she tend to wear that to work anyway.

I'm still a little overweight but trying to get it down. It always seems to be going so well but then a curry night with the lads comes around (tonight) and a few pounds always seems to gets added on!

As I said before I'm down from an 18 to a 16 but could maybe do with getting to a 14 to be my ideal weight for my height and build. It's easier in dresses sizes and maybe not as bad as moving form XL to L!

I like to stay active and run a football team so quite often the coaching involves joining in. Easy when they were younger but they're all quicker and more skilful than me now!

Anyway I don't think that either of us have changed dramatically (grey hair for me is the biggest change). The kids do keep us young and outdoors as much as possible. Ostensibly the same people just older!

By: Sindy

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Personal chit chat

It can't be helped Sarah as personal is all we are so we will always write that into our posts. I do the same. But these answers do clear a lot up and it's nice to get to know you all on a more 'friend' level if that makes sense. :-)

By: Sarah Tgirl

Subject: Re: Re: Personal chit chat

Agreed apologies letting personal life interfere with this nice blog I don't mean to insult anyone

Sarah x

By: Sarah Tgirl

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Personal chit chat

How has your wife changed in appearance since you first met (if at all)?

She was a size 10 bubbly flirty and sexy

Now size 20-22 boring lazy no drive to do anything

How do you feel about it?

Depressed

Cheated

Frustrated

Infuriated

Tired

Do you think you have also changed?

Knackered all the time working long hours then coming home to house work not put on weight as my job keeps me active and reliant on Crossdressing for some escapism, fantasy and to get off so yes I've changed.

By: Davina

Subject: Re: Re: Personal chit chat

Part 2

How has your wife changed in appearance since you first met (if at all)?

She will say I’m typing somehting horrible about her again but got to be cruel to be kind and I love her as she is but know her self esteem remains low and know she wants to lose weight but..

She was a size 10-12 (Hard to stay like this forever) and two kids later is a size 18-20 and I know she would rather be a size 14-16 and she could if she would:

1) Stick to a diet instead of joining a diet club lasting a few weeks then enthusiasm wains and she drops out – hectic lifestyle doesn’t help – I need to help here by dieting myself and making sure we both manage our diets.

2) Stick to exercise (that’s the both of us) and again kids get in the way here when they don’t want to participate I feel getting them interested in getting fit is the key so they do it with us walking, running and ball sports etc. Will be easier when they are older but don’t want to wish time away.

My wife doesn’t wear sexy lingerie which I really don’t understand especially knowing what it does for me to see her in sexy lingerie and rarely in a dress mainly in leggings and trousers.. Seeing her in a dress with tights and heels reduces me to a dog on heat.

She dresses nice and practical / comfortable I suppose but I do wish she would do an Emma and have a wardrobe revamp and get back in dresses – but not before points 1 and 2 which we need to work on together.. Sex is good exercise in various positions lol.

I also wish she would speak her mind more and be more open as a white lie to cover something can grow where telling it as it is is more my style and if you don't like something or don't want to do something say it.

How do you feel about it?

Sometimes frustrated seeing her low opinion of herself knowing change is in her grasp if she kept the will power to get in the shape she wants to be in if that's what's needed for her self esteem to grow.

Frustrated that I cannot understand why she wont do the sexy lingerie heels stockings thing for me knowing how turned on I am by lingerie which to me is a simple thing to do.. I mean if she wanted me to dress up (not as a woman ) I'd do it.. If there was something I could do to please her or turn her on I'd do it practically anything.

Frustrated that we don’t have the time to live how we want to live and cant afford to live how we want to live financially.

We just need to make a pact to both diet and get fit once and for all which will probably save us money in junk and take away food to do other things.

I worry about our finances a lot constantly in fact which adds to my stress.

We need to set a date on this and go for it over the next few months with an aim of dropping a few dress sizes by Christmas (both of us lol)

Do you think you have also changed?

I’ve changed yes to an extent

Not a lot in appearance as although I need to lose weight I know I can lose it easily with exercise and eat what I like I don’t look >40 years old (time is a factor and tiredness not necessarily physical tiredness more mental which is probably stress of work)

My mind is more open than it used to be to world events and politics and corruption which makes me angry and what makes me more angry is people let it happen and don’t show an interest and don’t realise or turn a blind eye to what’s happening in the world – Conspiracy theorist pah (Not a conspiracy when its true).

My wife would be best placed to tell us if I’ve changed at al since we met but another change is when you’re a young bloke you’re gung ho until you have kids then you become far more cautious in what you do and how you behave.

By: Davina

Subject: Re: Personal chit chat

I'll answer this in two parts

Part 1

“The way to avoid friction here is to keep this personal as much as possible and accept each other's position as no one else knows us as well as we know ourselves. That way, we may learn to understand eachothers place with all this from an around about way as we can only speak for ourselves, and without actually needing the generalisations”.

That makes sense as Katie has also added its sometimes hard to get a point across in a few paragraphs which can easily be mis-read or interpreted differently to what you wanted to put across or what you meant but someone else read another way.. In forums I find some “Tranny Police” purposely twist this type of scenario to cause an argument and belittle but thats not what this blog is about – as said previously we’re all equal everyones opinion is greatly received unless its vulgar or insulting.

By: Sindy

Subject: Personal chit chat

So I was thinking that the way to avoid friction here is to maybe keep this personal as much as possible and then accept each other's position as no one else knows us as well as we know ourselves. That way, I might learn to understand your place with all this, and even my husband and Sarah's, from an around about way as we can only speak for ourselves, and without actually needing to do the generalisations. Did that even make sense? It did in my head lol.

So, here's a question that I'm curious about:

How has your wife changed in appearance since you first met (if at all) and how do you feel about it? Do you think you have also changed?

My answer from my perspective is I've not changed much in physique as I stay slim, hair still long etc. But I admit I met my husband wearing dresses and heels and now I'm in typical mom uniform of yoga pants or jeans and comfy running shoes. I literally do chase after kids all day lol. My husband, the bastard, seems to get better with age. He's still slim too but the extra wrinkles seem to work for him far more than me. Not fair.

You?

By: Dani CD

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Personal chat

Hi I'm Dani and reading this with interest a lot younger than most of you in the infancy of my crossdressing adventure.

I'm 17 living at home and have been crossdressing since I was very young.

How often do I crossdress?

A few times per week being in college with parents being in work until gone 1700 I get home 1530 and ashamed to say it use my mums clothes and crossdress.

I don't want to do it full time or anything its just something I've done since I was young and cant shake and now I've got into trying to look like a woman.

My girlfriend dressed me up for fun a few months ago putting makeup on me and dressing me and I was shocked how much I looked like a girl and so was she.

It sort of accelerated my want to crossdress as I couldn't wait to try makeup and but a wig off ebay and dress fully at home.

I've got some things of my own but like I said reliant on mums dresses and high heels.

So I dress at home but have an urge to step outside into the garden dressed.

I would describe it as fun its fun getting changed and ok I don't have life stress like some just college and outside college I play a lot of sport and spend time with my girlfriend.

I guess I'm like everyone else finding it fun and a turn on.

By: Carla Tgirl

Subject: Re: Re: Personal chat

I dress once per week at least my wife knows about it and knows it helps me unwind at the end of a stressful working week.

She found out 2 years after we got married catching me dressed she laughed at me humiliated me which I took as her prerogative then we discussed it and I was surprised after reading many blogs about wives reactions that she said well you got to do what you've got to do if it helps you unwind I'm not stopping you.

We don't have kids so no constraints there and we usually have a Friday night in as you called it a girls night in then Saturday is our husband and wife nght out.

We've also done this in London and Manchester where we've finished work headed off in the car or on the train got to the hotel and had a night out on the Friday as Carla and Laura (The wife) luckily I can pass so we don't get any hassle.

We've had some great nights out she thinks of Carla as a girlfriend and says I'm different more relaxed and nicer when I act fem, then on the Saturday night we'll have a husband and wife night and I'm back to Alpha male.

I'm happy with this arrangement of once per week and that's all I need to get my fix. I say once per week but if I don't have the urge I wont dress.

By: Sarah Tgirl

Subject: Re: Personal chat

How often?

Once per month sometimes twice

How often would I like to dress?

Whenever I feel the urge some days I get up and think I really need to unwind and wouldn't it be nice to get up and decide to dress feminine today to have the choice to put on stockings and heels and a dress and makeup but we don't get that choice.

Where do I dress?

At home in the house and in the garden sometimes

If I work nights I usually have some sleep and then I might get dressed when she's in Work do housework then chat with other girls on line

Where would I like to dress?

Id like to go to a trans venue meet other girls and would love to go out shopping dressed but will never do it

My wife doesn't know I dress I've sort of told her but she just shrugged it off so no idea what she thinks

By: Davina

Subject: Re: Re: Personal chat

Oh the other thing is I wont just wear an item of clothes like I used to .. use to just try on lingerie or stockings and heels when younger but now I have to be fully dressed with Wig and makeup lingerie, hosiery heels and a dress for it to count as "Davina Time" and if I don't have the time to dress in full then I wont dress.. I used to get like an hour.. the wife would go to her mums with the kids for dinner and Id get home from work and get changed .. to be fair I can get transformed makeup dress and all in about 10-15 mins I'm used to it from the early grabbed opportunity days.. SO 17:00 wife would finish work Id get home from work quick shower shave then makeup and dress then by about 1830 Id be removing makeup and back in the shower or bath to male mode..

Now I have a different job and can work from home I have more opportunity and more time but it can be boring working from home that 09:00-14:00 opportunity then get changed back to get the kids from school at 15:15... Would be nice to get up get dressed and stay dressed for a day a whole day or maybe 2 days just to experience it..

By: Davina

Subject: Re: Personal chat

How often do you crossdress?

Probably once per month to once per 6 weeks depending on if I have the urge to dress mainly through stress of work although on occasion stress of work can outweigh the relief I get from crossdressing as has happened recently working on a large project to a deadline mopping up someone elses mess.

So that makes it 10-12 at most times per year = occasional

I may dress 9 - 10 times at home when working from home or away in a hotel with work and maybe get 1 or 2 girls nights in with the wife if lucky

How does this compare to what your ideal amount would be?

My ideal amount would be once per month and it would be nicer if this could be some quality time not dressed when working as even when away in a hotel dressed i'm more than likely working on the laptop into the night

Once or twice per year a girls night in with the wife would be nice.

Where do you dress?

At home when working from home if the urge takes me, in a hotel if away with work alone without collegues and sometimes a girls night in with the wife at home all behind closed doors and windows,

Is this where you want to dress or where you have to dress?

Its both I have always crossdressed at home since a kid never gone out dressed so at home or in a hotel is fine by me and happens to be where I have to dress also as my wife doesn't want me out and about dressed as Davina although part of me wonders what it would belike to be dressed out at some trans friendly venue socially but not out in public public such as shopping as some t girls do or to normal yes I used the word normal venues.

Does your wife ever tell you how she feels when she knows or sees you dressed?

She has said a few times that I look nice, or I remember that dress and on occasion I'll have that dress back lol but no she doesn't really tell me how she feels other than telling me I think too much about it and she doesn't really think about it just accepts it as something I do.

The need for crossdressing is the inexplicable thing as I've not dressed for a few weeks and the last time I did dress I was so busy with work that I was only dressed for an hour and then back in man mode dressing as there was opportunity rather than want.. last week I thought ill dress I even shaved as the stubble was annoying me but then thought I don't feel like dressing shall I dress for the opportunity to do it nah cant be bothered.

I would like another girls night in soon and a try on as I have a suitcase full of dresses which needs to be sorted but a man woman night out far outweighs Davina time... I hope to get a girls night in between now and Christmas maybe November..

By: Katie

Subject: Re: Personal chat

I work from home most of the time so have plenty of opportunities to dress when the kids are at school. Obviously school holidays, evenings and weekends are not an option but I do find that 2 or 3 hours a day is the maximum I'll do before I get changed back as it starts getting uncomfortbale (something I'm sure women are only too familiar with!) and loses the thrill. I'd hate for it to become mundane.

I don't often go full on with make up and wig as I can't justify the extra time - I should be working! I also don't feel I need to as I don't tend to look at myself in the mirror. I can look down and see my legs in tights and heels. It's how the clothes feel and look that are important to me. It's not really me becoming a whole woman.

If I've got a clear diary then I might dress for the first 2 or 3 days but by the end of the week the urge has gone and I won't bother.

I guess this is how I know I wouldn't want to dress full time as a woman.

I'm not sure if given carte blanche to dress when ever I wanted would necessarily increase my dressing. I do get plenty of opportunities but don't take them. Perversely in may even reduce the amount I dress because you're no longer waiting to grab that moment. The pressure to dress does build overtime if it's not possible but making it commonplace could mean the clothes lose their appeal.They do by the end of the week!

I dress at home because this is the only option. I guess that the fantasy is going out dressed to the nines to a special event or even a business meeting in a nice skirt suit but it ain't ever going to happen.

I've dressed at a hotel whilst away with work on a couple of occasions but that is very rare and I just couldn't justify the cost of hiring a room just to dress.

As you know I've got no idea how she feels about my dressing and she's never seen me dressed.