Few studies have been conducted to understand the phenomenon of transvestism, or crossdressing, as it is commonly referred.
The purpose of this study was to explore the effects of crossdressing on a person's dating/love relationships and sexual practices.
The study was comprised of a non-random sampling of 21 male heterosexual cross-dressers who reside in Maine and New Hampshire.
Most of the men had identified themselves as crossdressers for decades.
Almost all of the respondents had an entire femme persona with name, and regularly appeared in public crossdressed.
Most of the men were married to women who were tolerant or accepting of their activity.
The most negative responses were from wives who had found out about their husband's crossdressing years into their marriage.
Feelings of anger, betrayal and fear were typical reactions by these women.
The most common concern expressed by the crossdressers' partners was having others find out about their husband's behavior. Implications, as well as the limitations of this study, are discussed.
Sound familiar to wives and Gfs?
Lol at you n Pjs dont blame you and they do make more effort than us dont they with makeup and how they look they can be vane about it too.
Its great that we have this forum and some accepting people involved.
We all have different backgrounds and cases but for anyone worried i would agree with Emma it has its benefits.
Hannah (Wife)
Nice to see Karen on here another wife and Hannah commenting
It is scary at first to find out your hetero husband is a t girl a crossdresser a tranny and you do think omg hes gay but the positives outweigh any negatives being in a relationship with a t girl hubby.
If you can accept it from time to time and he doesnt go all kid in a toyshop or sweet shop it can be good for him, you and the relationship bringing massive trust and closeness and a shared secret which can be a shared inside joke also.
As always talking about it openly and forums like this one help enormously
Sat typing this in my PJs still at almost mid day with him reading over my shoulder in tights, high heels a skirt and blouse long dark curly hair and full makeup lol.
He's certainly made more effort than me today.
Emma (Wife)
The scandal if he ever comes out straight or bi 🤣
Yes it can bring you closer together if you let it. On the whole things haven’t changed much here. Yes we do have a private joke about it too and I have become the go to person about fashion although to be fair it is mainly shoes and lingerie.
I agree me and Esme can share a private joke about "Davina" Deep down tho she doesn't like it.. Probably as I walk better in heels 🤣
it is hard to talk about but when you find acceptance it becomes a lot easier and a secret shared brings you closer together.
Hannah (Wife)
its so hard to broach the subject let alone talk and find some agreement.
As I've mentioned on here a lot it took Esme about 8 years to come to terms with my crossdressing which went from dressing in clothing and lingerie to putting on makeup then buying a wig then progressed from trying things on now to if i can't dress fully with makeup and wig which means I need time to dress then i don't do it.
We went through phases of if i dress its when Esme is out and leave no trace, to ok dress when you work from home and when i come home lunch time i don't want to see you to eventually her venturing upstairs and meeting me as Davina..
In between Esme had some compromise and bought me a wig and some lingerie and high heels and stockings and i got the courage to buy some things for myself. Christmas presents of makeup and a lot of hand me down dresses.. I've got more dresses than her.
I'd like to try a makeover but they're so expensive. I did find a woman who does home makeovers but she said we were too far away .. Could have done the both of us and given us both makeup lessons.
I'm sure Esme says or thinks the same ie if it makes me happy crossdressing then shes happy although i know she wishes i didn't do it.. Not that I have since February :(
Davina
I am not sure what was in my head when I said we needed to have a chat to clarify what I had found on his computer. I know he was shitting himself and avoided it as much as he could. Even made contingency plans if I was going to chuck him out. I told him to bring his stuff home and I am not even sure why I asked that but I think it made me feel in control of the situation. He did but also thought I am not bringing it in doors.
There was a lot of crying on my part and lots of question. I was surprised about how long he had been dressing because in my head it was a recent thing as a progression of the ful body waxing that had recently started. I had even joked with the lady that does does the waxing ‘as long as he doesn’t start wearing my knickers’ little did I know he had been wearing his own for years.
During the conversation I was shown a photo taken at his last make over the week before my discovery. I thought why are you showing me a photograph of a women at this point I had no idea it was him. I was very impressed. Introduction to Vikki was a long process and I saw the complete transformation in March again I was impressed. During our initial talk I told him that he should unpack his stuff and put it in the wardrobe as it would get ruined. Again not sure that was where I was going with it when I told him to bring it home but that is where we ended up.
As you know it has not been easy and I still have days where I have problems with the situation but he is happy and that in turn makes me happy 😊
I told my wife .. She actually asked to dress me as a woman.. In my head shed found out I dressed and this was her way of saying I know you dress.. But in her head it was I wonder if that alpha male idiot will let me dress him to for a laugh. She can explain why she did it here. So when dressed uonwith makeup in told her this isn't my first time I've done this all my life.. Then in put it in writing trying to explain and was there with her to answer any questions. She cried and asked if I was gay.. That threw me as I'd never considered shed immediately link cross dressing and sexuality assuming shed see I did it as in my letter for escapism, stress relief, fun.. Etc Took 8 years of awkward chatting and negotiation then one day when i was working from home dressed she came home for lunch decided to meet "Davina" and then things changed up as following this we had our first girls night in, the 2nd she wanted to see me transform.. The rest is history. Hoping she's still reading the posts here and will add her own thoughts.
I'd be interested in reading my wife's initial feelings I don't think it was anger more fear of what did it mean for us?
I don’t have any info on this one, but I would like to see what the wives think and how other Crossdressers overcame the anger and betrayal issues their wives had.on finding out, how long did these issues go on for or do they continue to this day?
Go with the feelings of anger, betrayal and fear. Mainly anger at the deceit around it. It dents the trust that you have in your husband and you need trust in any relationship.
Am I worried about anyone else finding out? Only a few people I would be worried about as I wouldn’t want his relationship with these people damaged. The rest of the world? I really don’t care if they know or not.