First impression is drag queens and gay men

i found though hes not quite a drag queen can be a drama queen and hes bisexual when crossdressed so there is something in thinking and first impressions as a wife.

I wonder if younger women see it the same or different as times change.

Hannah (wife)

Between 2-5% of men crossdress according to this which is broadly in line with 1 in 20! Obviously the definition of what constitutes a crossdresser may vary from lingerie to full blown.

At a football match I look around and think how many other crossdressers must there be in the crowd. If it's less then 20 then I know the answer 😂

Katie x

Having posted the 1 in 20 slide from the film I am going to say it sounds high to me when you translate it - as above - to 600,000 men. I am guessing there is not an accurate way to do that survey - which if you would openly tell a stranger when asked - so maybe it’s more of a guestimate than estimate.

Love White chicks hear they are making white chicks 2 but maybe pandemic stopped that for now.

The Sean Bean film i didn't like i watched it with my husband and we both cringed a bit and struggled to watch it it just felt awkward for us watching it and Silence of the Lambs only watching it back did i remember the killer making a suit out of the women he killed eww.

What enters my mind now is different from what entered my mind in the past.

Now i know my husband and you lovely t girls my impression is you're nomal (most of you lol) and crossdressing is letting the softer side through which you hide away and you escape into this fem side for relaxation and a bit of fun. My husband is certainly relaxed after a whole weekend en fem.

Before and back to before I found Davinas blog and here i associated it with drag queens, perverts, and found it something that in general comedians did for laughs.

It's a lot more widespread than we think and 1 in 20 is wow if its true.

Emma (Wife)

Shit the bed ! 👏

I’d say I would take your lead...but I don’t really fancy Mike Ashley fiddling with my tits thank you...

Seriously?? You are my hero then. Respect.

I have been sorely tempted but never had the nerve!

You need a fitting at M&S Katie in that case...

My first time out was at Pink Punters, for the trans and CD monthly BNO (Big night out)

The hotel opposite is called the Campanile, had a drink in the bar there but wouldn't stay in the hotel, I was advised not to.

The bar in the Campanile was heaving with t-girls and then the same up in the cocktail lounge in pinks, never had a problem with anyone, all very friendly, some very quiet others a little bit clicky most attention I got was from a lesbian who looked me up and down.

I've only managed to go there the once as then Covid hit.

Not that that’s ever happened to me you understand 😳

He’s the one with remnants of nail glue on his nails Davina...

It just shows how you could walk past someone you know really well and they would not have a clue who you were

Shoes look a bit big though

Did anyone see the Rhod Gilbert programme about work experience and he was made up by the Femesque dressing service, the transformation was amazing, unrecognisable

That figure seems high to me but I’ve always assumed there must be over 100,000 of ‘them’, I mean ‘us’, in the country. Although, and here I may be completely wrong, that assumes there’s an equal distribution across ethnic groups, and it may be my imagination but ‘it’ seems more of a white dude’s thing? This is in absolutely no way meant as a loaded comment, at all, but that’s how I perceive it. In which case you then ask yourself...is it a cultural / social / environmental thing in any way, or simply genetic, or a mixture of the two.

If this is roughly correct and we say there are around 16m males in the country, then we’re looking at 800,000 crossdreamers in the UK. Jesus no wonder Victoria’s Secret is so profitable!

One in 20 and that was in the 90s? Wonder what it is now.

At the end, just before the credits roll, they flash up this. You are not alone.

The film is on YouTube 🙂

Couldn't get on with Pose maybe didn't give it a chance, never seen Transparent and the Drag race I can't stand.

I watched Transparent on Amazon prime and Pose on the BBC. I've also watched a few of the Ru Paul drag races but my wife won't watch any of them.

Katie x

Yes I've always stayed in hotels near the train station or in Coventry. Don't think the one opposite was on our work optional hotel list for crossdreasing employees lol.

OK I will allow it is probably not a film you would want your kids to see or indeed a wife struggling to come to terms with ideas.

Dressing is however a very broad church and there are some for whom it is very sexual and maybe Tracy/Sean was painted at that end of the spectrum, making it less than easy viewing, especially for wives or partners that have understood it (dressing) does not automatically equate to gay and/or sexual.

I think the film does capture Sean's loneliness in his male side and a sense of what might have been. And we do see a slight change from his over the top styles, when he says "I cannot pass for a woman but I can pass for a mans fantasy of a woman" to a slightly toned down version towards the end.

Pink Punters?

It is a film that makes me cringe I can't help that. Cross dressing doesn't have to be a shameful or sexual thing. No one casting you as anything Stephanie its an open forum here non judgemental. Its not a film I'd want my wife or kids to see if I were looking for acceptance and understanding the same as many other films which paint what we do in some stereotypical sexual way or horrific way like Paycho or Silence of the Lambs. There are others with more of a lighthearted theme that I've not seen like Priscilla queen of the desert and the like but everyone I've seen the tgirls are camp and it features sexuality. There was a program on mainstream TV following the lives of T girls and wivea in the UK, I used to chat to one of the wives but think it was more extreme than most cross dressers in the closet behind closed doors as these were all tgirls and wives confident and part of the t girl Milton keynes scene (forget the name of the club there) I watched it but again thought nope that's not me .. Such a difference in why we do this and where we are on the Trans spectrum and I've never seen the husband father stressful job dressing for escapism on any main stream media. Davina Davina

Sean Bean Accused Another bad story first cross dressers he won an award too

Absolutely x There was also a play on BBC years ago, really am showing my age now, I remember watching in the front room with my family, it was called Even Solomon...was the first time I’d ever heard of trans anything and was shocked but also relieved,and fascinated. Needless to say I got flustered and had to leave halfway through. I may even rewatch it, it was highly regarded at the time I gather.

Fair point, I’m being a bit harsh...

If anyone wants a copy I’ve got one somewhere, no charge...! On the one hand it was refreshing to see the subject approached with some empathy and curiosity. On the other the film quickly descends into ludicrous lame slapstick...it’s anyone’s guess why they chose a lead actor who looks more like John Cleese playing Mrs Yettigoosecreature.

I've just found a dvd of it on eBay for nearly 25 squid which is outrageous for a film of that age so I guess it is "out of print". I had forgotten until I searched that it is based on a true story by Monica Jay.

It's the best I could find in a hurry, a well observed scene of her first time out "in daylight" :)

Wasn't a fan of Victoria Wood.. Not heard of this. My Cinema trips are more for the Marvel and Star Wars blockbusters.

Funny last week there was something on Facebook with football managers and what they'd look like as women and some comments on some of them were phwoor from blokes lol

SO i got pics of the coaches at my club and found the app that they'd used on facebook and made us all into women.. was i the only crossdresser on there.. the photo of me electronically converted into a woman didn't look as good as my makeover of myself lol.

Still some were giving themselves ratings and laughing at one another and some stayed quiet and didn't comment.. they are the secret crossdressers and i fuelled their urge lol

Have we lost the wives? They're all very quiet of have we gone too blokey?

Davina

Did anyone see or do you remember ‘Just Like a Woman’ with Victoria Wood circa early 90’s? It was very sympathetically done, if a little escapist in the plot line thought not the dressing. It was a cinema release I went to with my wife and I’ve only seen it crop up on mainstream tele once since so if you missed it it could be gone but it was a firm fave of mine.

Esme was appalled that I was a crossdresser is probably the best way to put how she felt yet loves the movie white chicks which is two detectives dressed as women under cover.

Comes back to the it's ok them doing it but I don't want my husband doing it.

I'm Sure @Katie you're wife if you could have a girls night in and you could present yourself as Katie would not be freaked out by her childhood memories.

What would your wife think of this site? I've chatted enough to you to consider you sane and think if she'd talk about it and if you'd open up your wife would accept this side of you and your reasons.

I remember Esme and our first encounter me dressed face to face and then the first girls night in ok whilst I was getting changed upstairs i think she had a bottle of wine down her before I finally said hi how do I look but the next day asking her how she felt and she said it was ok she was impressed by my makeup skills but needed to get me a new wig and would do it again.

This is where I look to movies and TV to present us in a better light and not the stereotypical Psycho, effeminate gay or pervert.

Thinking of films off the top of my head, Psyco, Rocky Horror Show and the Crying game.. Not the way I want to be portrayed as a Crossdresser, then others like Danish Girl which was very interesting and more serious but led to transition and gender dysphoria which isn't representative of me either then onto white chicks, kinky boots, carry on films, Some like it hot, Mrs Doubtfire pure comedy and dressing for comedy value which is a bit better i think but still not why i dress.. I don't dress for comedy value,

Different perspectives can be given by the movies and I've never seen anything that I can say to Esme that's like me crossdressing.

Then on TV we've seen in Eastenders and the like the crossdressing undertaker which could have been much better if they'd concentrated on his escapism and his acceptance by a friend but not by his wife and that all ended up a little weird as his son found out and was negative .. I only watched those few episodes to see how they portrayed him as a crossdresser and gave up as could see them making him look like a psycho.

Holyoaks also had a crossdresser but a gay crossdresser who was seducing straight men or something..

I think the humorous side is the closest as I don't take my crossdressing that serious (says she who went out in public dressed with her wife in London) but even the trip to London was more a challenge something I wanted to do not serious just bucket list or curious to know could i fool the public.

Then there's Drag Race which I'm cringing watching these camp foul mouthed drag queens which definitely does not represent me.

So what is it wives think seeing men in drag on TV, Movies etc?

Davina

Stanley Baxter was gay, but married, i understand his wife accepted this, maybe he was a crossdresser too

I don’t remember Stanley’s act but based on the picture and knowing the likes of Dame Edna, these were not dressers they were artistes presenting a caricature of women based on what was then an acceptable view of womanhood. We do our best to present as feminine as we can , I don’t flatter myself I pass , but that is what we are, not entertaininment.

Thanks Katie this should be a pretty good thread.

He had amazing legs. Just saying.