By: Sindy

Subject: Re: Re: One question

I dunno - maybe Davina will lead you astray and you'll find yourself on the wrong side of the law lol.

These are drastic scenarios, certainly - does make me wonder if there were any crossdressers in the previous wars, and I'm sure some are lingering in jail somewhere. I guess they have their fantasies and thoughts to keep them sane.

And you're right, society has done a grand job at making it into a tragic behavior. There are almost never any positive sides to it in the media or anywhere. It's Madonna's song again - it's degrading to be a girl. That's what society thinks.

And as for how many men crossdress? I'd bet the number is far bigger than anyone knows. I think 5% is a numbers found in research but I do remember another one suggesting as high as 10% if you guessed how many would never even tell a survey. I bet there are literally millions of you, especially going by how many kink sites Google has available. But most will never tell a soul.

That's really quite sad.

By: Davina

Subject: Re: One question

Do I think crossdressing is a First World behavior?

I think so .. the escapism factor for us in the 1st world may be due to the stress of work and financial pressures to live a certain lifestyle.. I know in other cultures there will be stress and worries but crossdressing to escape them hmmm not sure . I don't know enough about other cultures to make a point on this.

We're far more image led I think in the 1st world and women in the 1st world have so much fashion to choose from some of which we men find attractive .. still cant explain crossdressing though.

Why do we wear a wig and makeup? Why not just a dress.

Having seen a trans person out shopping today in knee high boots, wide patterned fishnets, short skirt, leather jacket and her own messy hair and little to no makeup, a person having made this life choice it unfortunately had people staring at an obvious man dressed as a woman.

As crossdressers its not a life choice its just a bit of fun and its a bit of a challenge to us to want to see if we can look convincing, so clean shaven, makeup and wig is part of the whole thing for us.. not all crossdressers.

I only started putting on makeup following my wife making me up (for a bit of fun) then got the wig wanting to see if I could look more convincing.

A man in a dress or crossdressed without the wig and makeup to me would look strange but if thats all he needs for whatever reason he crossdresses then fair enough.

So, are modern men more bored? Confused? Exposed to more via the media etc?

We're not bored, I'd say we're over worked or our brains are over taxed in work and this leads to stress if we admit it or not.

My job is pretty full on constantly there is no slacking time and there is so much to do manly due to cut backs and reorgs.

I'm never bored.. I'm far from confused and the media I take with a pinch of salt as its controlled and manipulated more and more by governments which is sad.

Crossdressing has always happened I feel more men are now more confident to admit it and tell their wives and gfs.

We don't know how many men do it, tried it etc.

The why isn't important to us once we've given it enough thought but it is important for us to make our wives feel comfotable with crosddressing.

I've said before Crossdressing is insignificant in the grand scheme of the world and our family lives, communities etc its unimportant but important as without it we'd need another release for the stress and tension especially in a world where our spouses tend to make less of an effort for us men and crossdressing forms part of that compensation..

Remember in this we don't do it all the time we're talking a hand full of opportunities per year to crossdress. Once per month is 12 times …

True everyone is allowed down time, but how does a crossdresser takes it to another level once a month if we're lucky dressing different,looking different, harmless activity but psycologically straining a relationship if you cant see through the fact its a man dressing “as a woman” and think of it as dressing different.. It's not as serious a hobby as you think and thats what bugs us as to us its a big deal because people put the stigma on it making it a big deal but its really not a big deal but women can't fathom as we step on your territory.

On a scale of life issues, how important is it really that we do this?

Its important but unimportant as above why shouldnt we do something we find enjoyment in doing? Escecially if it has this inexplicable reaction - it helps us unwind and de-stress somwhow.

Its harmless but society has doen a grand job conditioning people to it being weird and wrong.

What would you do in a situation such as war or prison, without access to crossdressing items?

I have no idea, I suppose we'd have to find something else to do to unwind. We may still think of crossdressing.

Its a bit of a drastic question / scenaro :)

By: Katie

Subject: Re: One question

Crossdressing is a first world behaviour because our society makes it possible. I'm sure that if you took a member of a long lost Amazonian tribe out of the rainforest and introduced him to a crossdresser he wouldn't bat an eyelid. We'd all seem to be dressed in a funny way. They'd have no concept of gender appropriate clothing.

How would you explain that a man can wear a skirt but it has to be called a kilt, made from a certain material and cut is a different way. It must also be the correct length, if one element is wrong then it's a skirt.

We have to be taught about clothing from an early age to decide what is masculine and what is feminine. Without this early conditioning we wouldn't know either.

Different culture have different traditions. I went to India a few years ago and it's common for male friends to walk down the road holding hands in public. If you tried that in this country the best you'd get called by your mate was gay! In other countries men kiss and embrace. We're pretty emotionally retarded in this country because of the way our society is and the more exposure we get to other cultures the better.

I just watched an interesting programme called 'All man' hosted by Perry Grayson. The gender roles are changing and what used to be required of men is now different from the past. He was interviewing MMA cage fighters and trying to find out why they do it. To some it was a release of the pressures they have of being a man. Having to keep in place this hard exterior expected of men can be hard. Suicide is the biggest killer of men under 45 in the UK! The cage fighting was a release for their pent up feelings and they felt better after knocking the head off a competitor. They felt better after a bout. Crossdressing is another form of release, as we've said we feel better, more relaxed and less stressed after.

If we didn't have access to clothes in order to crossdress then we'd eventually reach a bursting point. How that might manifest itself I don't know but if I can't dress for any extended period then I do become more crotchety and bad tempered. If I was denied it at all then ..... who knows.

Crossdressers can appear to be pretty self obsessed but if we all spent time thinking about the serious issues in the world then we'd never get anything done. Why go out for an expensive meal when there are starving kids in Africa, why buy a bigger house when there are homeless people on our streets. At the end of the day we are all selfish and live in our own bubbles and we'll tut and say it's such a shame but few of us will ever do anything about it as we're too busy living our own lives.

We were fortunate to have been born in the UK with all the privileges it give. As you said there are far worse things going on in the world than crossdressing but they don't affect you or me in the same way. This is our problem in our marriages and if you look at it in the context of what other problems there could possibly be then it is not significant at all. But it still is because it is personal to you and me and our partners.

It always amazes me how women stay with abusive partners. How did Rose West deicide that Peter was a great guy and that what he was doing was fine to the extent that she joined in? In that context crossdressing is a harmless pastime that helps certain men to unwind and should be encourages and not scorned upon.

The programme is worth a watch as I think it explains a little more about the working of mens minds and the pressures we feel. I know women also have their own pressures but women are better at expressing these feeling and don't seem to need the same release values as men.