Cross-dressing (and here on our WDMCD Forum we refer particularly to men dressing up as women) historically and socially has tended to have a bad reputation.

Men must be a certain way and if they aren't then they're not normal..

The idea of a man getting any pleasure or finding it fun in putting on a pair of stockings or some lingierie or a dress, makeup etc has traditionally been seen as laughable, pitiful – and plain sinister, weird of perverted.

I know I'm a normal man brought up a normal boy, usual teenage things, then progressed into my 20s etc did the boy things, played with action man and star wars figures and space ships, always had a ball in hand or at my feet, always loved watching, supporting and playing sport, always loved girls / women, from a young age wanted to be an Engineer or an Architect, had planned for a wife and kids and want grand kids and great grandkids to keep the family name going and have a family and legacy, house good job, car, holiday and to live happy ever after. I'm as far as I'm concerned and the rest of the world is concerned a normal bloke.. In fact and I've referred to it before an Alpha male, always right, strong willed, want my way, but compassionate, and politically more socialist leaning one for all and all for one.. I'm a bloody Musketeer of a man lol anyway that's me now back on with the crossdressing ramblings,,

It's usually assumed that a marriage would almost certainly break up the day a wife found her husband crossdressed in her underwear; and that a manager would lose all authority if his colleagues knew about his enthusiasm for a blonde wig, red lipstick, black stockings and high heels.

From our perspective, cross-dressing can seem like an admission of failure that we're failing at being men and we need this outlet.

Instead of living up to and maintaining the fascade of strength, ruggedness and sheer ‘normality’, for many years most of us have found solace, a turn on and escapism from expectation and stress by slipping on a silky nightie, french knickers, tights or a dress which to most would indicate that we are some sort of a deviant, pervert or plain weird.. People get transexuality but even in the Trans world crossdressing is a low ranking form of Trans..

Cross-dressing for me is my escapism, I feel different and I feel like I'm able to relax from peoples expectations of me or rather the expectation of me based on what I've built myself to be as a man. The stupid thing here and it's probably up bringing.. how many times do you see someone from previous generations eg your father or grandfather cry... My generation has to look back on grandparents who served during world war 2 who fought in the war or kept the wheels of industry turning and then next gen our parents picked up from there with that upbringing and passed it on to us and now some people refer to others as "Woke" or liberal or lefties or soft and it's a generational cleansing and with the invention and availability of the internet its a wider understanding and connection of information and that people are and can be different.. LGBTQ is now a thing which wasn't allowed in previous generations.. things have changed.. by the way Woke isn't an insult .. it's bringing attention to wrong doing and things like racism.. but its been twisted as a term to offend or to fob off by name calling.. but that's another thread for another forum.. back to the point..

For me and others this escapism is grounded in a highly logical and universal desire for the opposite sex, I love women and the female image and fashion and how the clothing feels on me and how i can look as a woman,, There's also the wish to be for a time the gender I admire, is excited by, turned on by and to dress how I like women to dress and to feel the different fabric on myself.. Dressing like a woman is merely a way of getting closer to the experiences of the sex one is profoundly curious about, to wear and feel types of clothing and see it albeit in the mirror which you wish your spouse would wear (case in point lace topped black stockings and heels and lacy black lingerie under a nice dress).

We know cross-dressing well enough in other areas of life and there think nothing of it ie women borrowing their husbands denim shirt or football jersey.. what's that you say women play football too yes they do and that's great they also play rugby.. also fantastic it's a sport and open for all to play but its an our generation thing diversifying and womens rights but the contravercial thing is to say well done women have won the right to do things and quite right they have those rights.. So what's the deal with crossdressing.. why can't a man in 2022 have the right to crossdress if he wants especially if it helps his mental state and wellbeing no matter the reasoning for that benefit? There are still rank and file feminists demanding more rights for women and that's great but they'll show hypocracy is stating we want the right to this and that .. buy nah no way womens clothing is for women.. break it down and its just that clothing and an image and a look .. this is a rabbit hole and someone could say i'm digging myself into a hole here on womens rights.. "mens rights" mens needs, mens feelings, mens mental health... i'll just leave those words there as we bury our thoughts and feeligs on them and get on with it and we get stressed out greatly and bury those feelings too which ends up in us becoming ill, physically and mentally.

I used to dress as super heroes .. or sports people.. it was the dressing as super heroes that introduced me to tights and the feel of them which got me into crossdressing in a way.. it progressed to lingerie via seeing the lingerie section in clothing catalogues.. tights felt nice on my legs what about silk.. i'd felt silk with my hands walking through the lingerie section in M&S seeing lingerie on maequins from an early age coupled with the catalogues of real women modelling lingerie (my first porn) I loved women, i loved women even more in stockings and lingerie and high heels.. I loved the women in "Allo Allo".. I couldn't see a real woman in that lingerie so i substituted myself in and tried it on myself.. madly as it sounds to most my mothers lingerie, stockings and heels and hindsight it's disgusting and perverted.. no it's just clothes!!

We should accept in dressing up as a super hero that an adult cross-dresser is no different we dress up but as women.

We for a while get to and for most of us need to inhabit the experiences of dressing as a woman. We seeks to some how know and feel what it would be like to be a woman, to wear the things we want our spouses to wear to feel the breeze on our nylon clad legs and we vainly admire ourselves in the mirror in a pair of black tights, heels dress, makeup and wig and even share photos on line to show how we look an identity other than male us an escapism, another life another us shared with like minded men and women on websites such as TV chix, ever growing on youtube and reddit and other social media we form networks of contacts and realise we're not alone..

It's an intense, fascinating satisfaction of being simultaneously yourself and someone else looking completely different, unrecognisable and with it mannerisms and that guard let down as described by my wife nicer as Davina and we can also become an object of our own desire the look we like in women, the clothing we desire women to wear, the heels the ref lips.. we can feel sexy which is something we can't identify as men and we can also fancy our alter ego in the mirror.

Crossdressing is or rather Trans is becoming more accepted although men are still in predominant generall expected to be men "The man of the hose" is still a saying and expected still in our generation.. Crossdressing is an internal secret protest against being imaginatively bounded by the particular gender-province we happen to have been born into and trapped to behave a certain way as expected by Society and that has to change for bottling up emotions which is what's led me to typing all this again is not good for the soul and not good for your mental and physical wellbing and is darn right Fing frustrating!!!.

We realise at some point through denial and acceptance that as men we're not so firmly anchored to the gender we were born into... I think a big % of me is an act a front.. Put it this way I am an alpha male i do lead, i do want to lead but we need an escape valve as we cannot go on and on leading, solving problems, worry for others and mine is Crossdressing my escapism that no one would think i do.. It's bewildering to have to accept in my semi-conscious mind we as crossdressers can feel more comfortable when presenting female and it can improve our mental health which is obviously worrying to a spouse to hear (what if he want's to stay presenting female?) but for the most part this is just a temporary fix we need and we're happy to return to male mode but sometimes that return crossdressing cut short can be unfulfilling if we don't have quality time especailly if we need it and cant do it can be damaging.

I've typed and typed here so lets bring it to an end and hope others add their thoughts..

I'm stuck in a rut in my 40s with wife and kids what i wanted, a good job, a government i detest and a world i don't understand more and more seeing such selfishness and wanton ignorance where z list celebs in a jungle is more important to life than the state of the nation, poverty, cost of living.. its a smokescreen shown on an idiot box in all our housing to whats really going on in the world.. crossdressing in amongst that is insignificant.. so what if a man dresses as a woman especially if it helps his mental health especially when hes as open minded to consider everything that's going on in the world in 2022.. especially as opportunities to crossdress condense considerably to the impossible and you lose that outlet through having to keep it secret because the wider societal implications damage the reputation and even trust of friends, family, collegues etc..

I've mentioned generations and I hope going forward future generations evolve further and see crossdressing as some harmless hobby and that the psycological benefits of men escaping that aplha role and fascade are accepted more than calling it a fetish or perversion.

I really need some quality time as Davina as my mental health is suffering and i know I'm not alone.

We all need some form of escape from reality and Crossdressing is ours.

D