By: Katie

Subject: Extra Comment

I thought that this was a valid reply to some of Sindy's concerned and didn't want it to get lost further down the blog so I posted it again. There is a lot going on at the moment and unless you make the effort it can be hard to follow. So excuse my double post.

I don't think its the label 'crossdressers wife' that is the problem. The partner of the main subject will always get the anonymous tag line. Davina McCall and her husband?

The issue is that Sindy and other wives/partners are the wife of a crossdressers with all the social stigma that that entails. When I asked the question about it being a 'burden' this was really the response I was expecting. Maybe keeping the secret is not a burden but a wife / partner will always have the same fears that we, as crossdressers, have about being found out. It can affect us and our families both socially and financially which is why many of us decide to keep in private and in many cases from our wives and partners.

It doesn't make it right but it does give an element of protection for the ones you love.

My biggest concern is always for my wife and children. I know the easy answer is just 'give it up' but I think that that demonstrates the huge need that I and many others have to crossdress. As I said before if there was a pill then I'd take it.

I get Davina's points about it being harmless fun and a good way to relax. It is. But this fear will exist until it becomes socially acceptable which I think is a long way off. I don't see it happening in my lifetime anyway or at least for people of my generation!

Transgender individuals who decide to live their lives as women are becoming more accepted with high profile people such as Caitlyn Jenner. However, for normal people changing your sex can have a devastating effect on their lives and that of their families.

Crossdressers don't want to change sex and although we share some of the same social problems as transgender people I do believe that our wiring is not the same and their need for gender expression and identity are different from our own (CDs).

Changing peoples opinions one by one is a difficult task. But as with anything going viral it only takes a few to be on message to get it out to the whole world. Or at least those with the intelligence to understand that we are all individuals and different from each other.

I don't think that men being accepted as crossdressers will suddenly mean an army of men tottering about in high heels and dresses. It is still a private matter and although some people will want acceptance by dressing in public this would still be rare.

By: Katie

Subject: Re: A couple more questions to our GGs (Genetic Girls)

Thanks for the replies so far and welcome to Hannah.

1) I think a lot of crossdressers will dress for themselves which is why it is always confusing that it is assumed that we are dressing to attract me. Both Sindy and Hannah dress up for themselves and not to attract men.

2) Clothes definitely change the mood of a crossdresser so it's the same for both sexes. I guess a GG can understand the power of clothing to change mood if they can experience it themselves. I know it's not the only reason for dressing but it does form part of the package.

3) I think men generally buy with their eyes and are not very good at imagining themselves in something on the rack. I am always inspired by the models or women I see in everyday life. I guess that I assume if I wear what they are wearing I'll somehow possess their attractiveness. Unfortunately it sometimes ends up as a complete a disaster! The charity shops do well on occasions!

4) I'm glad to hear that neither Sindy or Hannah felt their husbands were competition. I could never compete with my wife and my dressing is not some substitute for her. It's just that I've read that some women look on their husbands alter ego as another woman in the marriage. Maybe that occurs if he becomes obsessed and his personality and actions become too feminine - the OTT femininity that Sindy hates so much.

By: Davina

Subject: Re: A couple more questions to our GGs (Genetic Girls)

1) When you get dressed up for an evening out with the girls are you dressing for yourself or to impress your friends? I'm assuming that you are not dressing to attract any unwanted attention from men.

I think women make more of an effort when they go out with friends and collegues and they don't realise how it effects us men when we have to stay in and baby sit seeing our wives go out all made up, wearing something nice and heels.

2) If you think you look good does it lift your mood? Can you change your mood with clothes?

My thought in this would be it must do and the women have said it does.. so why not make the effort more often? It works for us when we crossdress it lifts our mood. What can we do as men in this regard in terms of dressing in male clothes? Not a lot.

3) When you are looking to buy new clothes do you look at the models and think I'll look good in that or she looks attractive in that it'll do the same for me?

I look at women, models, celebs and think i'll try to do my makeup like that or thats nice I wonder how I would look in that dress or those heels.

4) When you think of your husbands alter ego do you think of her as competition (another woman in the marriage) or as part of him?

This hasn't crossed my mind I hope my wife doesn't see Davina as competition as to my mind thats silly.

By: Sindy

Subject: Re: A couple more questions to our GGs (Genetic Girls)

1) When you get dressed up for an evening out with the girls are you dressing for yourself or to impress your friends? I'm assuming that you are not dressing to attract any unwanted attention from men.

Both for my, too. I dress for me, but also its nice when your friends think you look good. I don't dress for other men at all. That seems to be a side effect of dressing nicely anyway.

Em said how much better she felt about making an effort and how compliments made her feel better.

Women always seem to compliment each other whereas men just take the michael.

Haha, true. I think this is linked to what Davina said - she can't tell when other men look good, so maybe when men joke around they're actually paying a compliment?

2) If you think you look good does it lift your mood? Can you change your mood with clothes?

Yep. But funny, the clothes aren't always 'going out' clothes. My mood can be lifted if I wear my fitness gear and don't feel flabby. Clothes can definitely change it, when they fit well! They can completely ruin it when you are having a fat day lol.

3) When you are looking to buy new clothes do you look at the models and think I'll look good in that or she looks attractive in that it'll do the same for me?

No. I know my size and shape. I might notice what she's wearing, but how she looks in it is irrelevant. I actually did a bit of modelling in my youth so I know first hand how rubbish the industry is. Those women don't even look like that in real life. I actually think men can probably wear the clothes of a model more than most of us as these girls are almost expected to have the body of boys. I was always told to do the lingerie stuff as I'm not boyish enough apparently!

I'm glad to be past all that. It's not fair there's so much pressure on women to look a certain way that getting older is almost a relief.

4) When you think of your husbands alter ego do you think of her as competition (another woman in the marriage) or as part of him?

Never competition. He's a man and no matter how much time, effort, money or whatever he puts into it, thats who he will always be. It's a part of his personality, I agree. But I wouldn't say there's this other woman in him as she's awfully annoying and seems very much like my husband haha.

By: Hannah (Wife of a crossdresser)

Subject: Re: A couple more questions to our GGs (Genetic Girls)

1) When you get dressed up for an evening out with the girls are you dressing for yourself or to impress your friends?

Both

I always make an effort for myself but a night with the girls I probably make even more effort and i'm lost to explain why.

Women always seem to compliment each other whereas men just take the michael.

Agreed we do

2) If you think you look good does it lift your mood? Can you change your mood with clothes?

Yes I said earlier I don't do dressing for comfort much but I have my expensive clothes and my primark stuff lol I will dress in the expensive clothes and feel better

3) When you are looking to buy new clothes do you look at the models and think I'll look good in that or she looks attractive in that it'll do the same for me?

I think I will look good in that but sometimes you try it on and its like a bag on you.

4) When you think of your husbands alter ego do you think of her as competition (another woman in the marriage) or as part of him?

no just seomthing he does I don't see Kiera as another person in our house more like him dressed up and he looks ok but theres no competition