By: Sindy

Subject: Blog entries

Great blog entries, Davina. I was fascinated with the self esteem one. How funny, but it seems the husbands are assuming the wives have low esteem issues which is why they don't dress up enough, while I'm here assuming my husband has low esteem issues for needing to dress up at all lol.

Personally, my self esteem is as high as it's ever been and I dress up hardly ever these days. Go figure. I actually think I got all dolled up in my youth because I was a typical insecure girl who didn't know how hot I was (and I was!) or how being myself would have made me feel more comfortable. Instead I did the whole short skirts and high heels and red lips and bloody hell, that's misery right there! I don't mind it occasionally, but every day to work? I thought that's what made me special, and worthy of male attention, yet it only got me harassment and more insecurity and I don't blame any woman for not doing it very often.

Having kids centres a woman, I think. We are finally surrounded by people (albeit, very little people lol) who worship us, warts and all, and suddenly it is irrelevant whether we wear heels or running shoes. People love us anyway! Very carthartic moment. I get that men are more visual, sexually driven creatures and if we want to keep you around and vaguely happy, we need to doll up occasionally lol. But it's not linked to my self esteem anymore, and doesn't make me feel pretty or better or whatever. My kids think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world anyway, awe. :-)

So, and this might be an 'aha' moment, I've just realised I really do see my husbands crossdressing as some sort of low esteem coping behaviour. It's no wonder I don't like it or find him attractive for it...low esteem is a huge turn off! I mean, you guys do tend to dress for stress relief and whatever...it's sort of medicinal, yes? A psychological or emotional tonic? Yeah, sorry, that's not very hot lol.

It's not bad though, as I think Davina is right and maybe most men have some sort of weird quirk. The longer I'm on this planet, married to a man, raising young boys, the more I realise you're aliens from another galaxy. Who are you people and what do you want with us?? lol.

Anyway, have a read of this chat thread I stumbled across some time back and thought I'd post here. It shares the angst of this issue, the pain crossdressing can cause for both the man and his partner, and the complicated psychology behind it. It does end on a happy note though, a true sign that most women will try to accommodate it as best they can. But the more you know, and we know, the easier that is. x

https://forums.digitalspy.com/discussion/1033172/depression-furstration-crossdressing