After thinking about wheather or not to publish this letter i have decided to put it out there for people to see.

I don't really know yet if it actually helped my situation but it's all I could do, my wife wouldn't talk to me about my dressing so i had to try and do something to try and move things along.

Take what you will from it, if you want to take ideas and ways of going about communicating with your partner then that's entirely up to you.

If it helps to give you suggestions in how to approach telling her thats fine.

Wheather you put it in letter form or face to face is up to you.

Cat xx

Firstly i don't want you to be worried about getting this letter, things are fine , i thought the best way to try and help you understand my crossdressing was to put a letter together to try and explain things. I know you must be confused or maybe don't want to talk about it, but unfortunately for me it doesn't go away and i can't ignore it.

I know i said initialy i would not mention the subject unless you wanted to but on reflection i think i need to try and understand how you feel about the whole thing, i wanted to give you as much time as possible to try to come to terms with things and also to show you i am still the man you married.

As far back as i can remember, about 3 or 4 years old I've wanted to wear clothes of the opposite sex, it doesn't seem to be something i suddenly decided to want to do, but more of it was something i was born with and was just there. It just felt normal and comfortable to me, but, in the back of my mind i knew i was different, even at an early age and as the years went on it becomes more and more obvious that poeple won't understand and so you know you have to keep it secret. You fear ridicule and even worse, you don't know how people will react to the news you like to wear womens clothes as a man.

When we first met and then married i didn't have any urges towards dressing and i thought that it had gone and I'd grown out of it, and for many years this has been the case, but i think since the death of my mum then Mike Foster passing away this seems to have affected me more than i thought i think, and it has now reappeared but far stronger. I also feel that i want it to be part of my life and just want to accept me for me, seeing people pass away i just want to make the most for whatever time of my life i have left,(hopefully many years to come).

As i said when i first told you, I'm not gay or bi, I'm staight and i don't want to transition at all I'm happy being a man. I feel just as comfortable dressed as a woman as a man, and think it's quite nice being able to switch between the two, but I'm happy as a man probably 80% of the time. I still find you attractive, and i always will, and i hope our physical relationship can continue.

I hope you don't think I'm less of a man because i like to wear a dress or makeup, It took a lot of balls to tell you what i am, something that a lot of(Real Men!) would not be able to do. Dressing is for me a way of relaxing, and it actually makes me calmer and i think a more balanced person. I hope you don't just want to ignore my female persona, but i would respect your feelings if you do. I want you to be comfortable at whatever level you want to be involved and i don't want to push you, i hope given time it can be quite a lot, but lets see.

I'm sure you must have some questions and i want you to ask them because i want to be open and honest with you and nothing to be hidden. But what i don't want is for you to just say nothing. If you don't know what to ask just say what can you tell me about it? And I'll do all the talking if you want, we could even do it in a letter if you can't do it face to face.

It would be so nice if, from time to time you could buy me small girly gifts like false nails, nail polish, or a necklace and bracelet, nothing expensive, or even if you felt you could, if we're out shopping and you could help me choose some clothes? Or we could sit and you could do my nails for me! I've never had that done so would be nice :-) And maybe one day in the future venture out into the world dressed?? Or go and have a makeover! :-)

I want to be able to share my life with you as a dresser and not hide it away. I know there is a lot of information and a lot to take in, it's like a whole new world isn't it?

If you feel you can't discuss things face to face as i said then send me a txt or write me a letter, whatever your comfortable with. But i hope you can discuss it with me. I know this must be really hard to come to terms with, and i don't expect you to come to terms with it straight away but i hope you can find it in your heart to try and understand as much as possible. Please understand that this is so important to me, and i need to dress, i don't have a choice in it! Believe me I've tried ignoring it, but it always comes back!

So far for me it's been a very emotional experience since i told you i crossdress! I know i don't have the right to ask or expect anything from you, but i hope there is a place in your heart for my femme side and maybe it could be a new and exciting part to our life together?? Above all i hope you can be proud of me and not ashamed of me! :) Most of all i love you so very much and hope we can make this work.

All my love,

Catriona XXXX