This is something Katies added in a thread on here "The more you understand the less threatening it gets"

This is so true, I'm sure the wives and girlfriends here who have found acceptance will agree.

If you can't talk about it, write it down.. Find a way to discuss it without clamming up or feeling embarrassed.

Don't let it slide (both of you).. it adds to the frustration and also depression.

A t-girl can fret over bringing up the subject literally for months to be dismissed in seconds and then its back to the fretting. It's something we need to talk about, its something both sides need to talk about.

A wife can do the same wanting to talk about it and in embarrassment a T girl changes the subject.

Both the above examples you're not doing one another any favours.

Check out the post on the Kubler-Ross Graph

Don't get stuck in the denial (burying your head in the sand), the frustration on both parts which can cause a bad atmosphere and definitely don't get stuck in the depression phase.

This isn't as bad as you think. Don't let society guide this, discover for yourselves.

Move along this curve as the more you understand about why you crossdress.. or if you're a wife reading this the more you understand about why he is crossdressing it really will get easier to accept.

You can set a levels of acceptance.. mine went like the below.. Imagine Esme (My wife) saying the below.

1. "Ok if you have to dress do it when I'm not in and don't leave any evidence but I really don't get it"

2. "If you're going to dress let me know so i know to tell you when I'm coming home so you can change back"

3. "Buying a wig is OK but I don't want to see you do you want me to get one for you in a fancy dress shop?"

4. "I'm Ok seeing photos of you dressed as a woman you look like a woman but i still don't get it"

5. "You can dress upstairs if you like when I'm home but I don't want to see you"

6. "You can work from home dressed if you like but i still don't want to see you"

7. Esme came upstairs knowing I was dressed and saw me dressed in the flesh for the first time

8. We had a girls night in (and have had several since)

9. We went out together in public as "girls"

10. Esme's now OK seeing me dressed when working from home and talking about "Davina" is easier.

This took me and Esme around 17 years (now in 2020) and steps 7 to 10 came over the last 5 or 6 years, chatting with Emma on here It took her months, but I think she'll admit she read my blog and got some of the answers she wanted and the questions to ask so my 17 years for her husband was a lot more rapid and something I wish myself and Esme had as source to progress our chats on Crossdressing.

We got stuck in the Denial, Frustration and Depression stages far too long.. See another post of mine on "wasted time".. I feel this time was badly wasted through my late 20s and into 30s where we struggled to talk about my crossdressing and could have instead been having fun with it.

So believe me if you want to work out why you crossdress or why he is a crossdresser talk and know that you will follow the path of the kubler-ross curve at some point if you want to make this work and accept this part of yourslef.. or of him.. The more you understand the easier it gets..

I hope Esme will comment on this also and give her thoughts on her acceptance of me crossdressing.

Davina