I think it was Freud who said sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. As a behavioral therapist I see people struggle with trying to find answers to the why in their lives. I try to guide them to understand that life doesn’t have to have meaning. You just live it and try to do things that make you happy. I’ve been dressing since my teens. The dressing didn’t become a regular occurrence till after a divorce and having the freedom from living alone. I’ve read hundreds of books and journal articles. Spoke to many therapists over the years. No one has an answer to the question of why men crossdress. The only therapies are abstinence or accommodation. Like a lot of others it has ceased being a sexual stimulation for me. I am never aroused like when I was younger. It is just something I do having amassed a huge wardrobe of clothing, wigs shoes and boots. I have tons of makeup and more jewelry than any three women I’ve ever known. I love women but on the few occasions I’ve been with men I find real passion. Those experiences truly take me to another level although I find the mens’ desire to be with me curious to say the least. The older I get the less I care about the why and just pander to my desires. The old saying life’s a bitch and way too short applies. That’s accommodation.

I must be going through a reawakening moment as not having had the opportunity for well over 12 mths I’m finding I’ll be dressing tomorrow given I finally have the house to myself for 6/7 hours or so. (We had both retired early but took on jobs over winter : me full time and my wife p/time, and we’re both still working) I have a day off tomorrow.

In my mental meanderings I thought back to how and why I started much of which is covered in my profile but what it is about dressing and getting made up that I enjoy so much?

Looking back like most I imagine I started off with just wearing knickers and found the feel of satin and lace so arousing. The next step was nylon, usually tights at first, but stockings was always the appeal. It wasn’t until I married though that I could get to wear stockings (never though of buying some for myself ..doh!) Whilst I would buy my wife some lingerie she’d only ever wear it for bedtime fun and even then not very often despite my buying lingerie sets more suite to daily wear.

The arrival of kids inhibited our bedtime fun and I suspect it was this that led me to thinking I’d try wearing it if she’s not. In the first instance it was probably a form of sexual void filling? However the sensation of lace, satin and nylon was intoxicating and the more she wouldn’t wear it compounded my desire to experience that sensation of feeling the touch of lingerie more and more.

When did this transition into wanting to dress fully and look properly feminine I can’t recall but to me if I’m going to wear undies etc I want to go the whole hog. Whilst being hetero I do subscribe to the idea that normal convention dictates that most women dress in a way to appeal to men. Accordingly I try to dress I suspect in a way that I would like a woman to dress for me. Though I don’t seek male admirers I do acknowledge feeling a sense of ‘achievement’ when receiving favourable comments on tvchix chat rooms from guys other that the ‘I want to f### you’ ones I’m sure many of you might recognise.

In conclusion .. for now anyway.. I openly declare I actually feel sexy when dressed en femme, a sensation I never feel when dressed in male garb! Can’t wait until tomorrows attempts and getting some more selfie pics too.

Oh and I too am a golfer with a 16 handicap. Would be great to all have a game together however unlikely that may seem.

Thx for reading 💋

Golf @Kimberley Cox?! Oh no! I've only ever done golf on the Wii - that's my handicap! Although it does mean that heels are definitely not an impediment to my game.

Crossdressing for me is still a complete thrill, despite the fact I dress most of the time, so that aspect is still an important part of my whole dressing... thing. When I get up and put on my tights in the morning, I get that familiar shiver through my entire body. Als0, like @Davina I am a much more relaxed and pleasant (so I have been informed!) individual when I am dressed.

So my reasons for crossdressing are: I like how the clothes feel; I like how I look whilst wearing them; I feel more like 'myself' when wearing female clothes, makeup, perfume etc. (although I have no desire to transition); I have been told that I am a nicer person, no doubt because I feel relaxed and content; and, undeniably, I find it a complete turn-on!

I just thought I should apologise for going Miss Tgirl world there for a moment wishing for world peace, etc. My humble apologies ✌️🙏😂

Hi Kimberley

Bizarrely, I think I would be at greater peace with it if more people knew. I get most stress relief when I can indulge as Emma when I’m away from home because I am not worried about someone coming home at an unexpected time And I know I have cleared away all traces of make up etc

But then I feel bad knowing that my wife doesn’t know - essentially she doesn’t know I venture out as Emma - don’t do anything naughty hasten to add.

Now she doesnt really want to engage in it so you could say that should be that - but we share and talk about everything else (I don’t think she’s A drag king 😯) so the not sharing is the stresser for me. I think that might be why the need to dress ebbs and flows, it is both a stress reliever but also a stress inducer.

Does that make any kind of sense?!

I still get a buzz 40+ years on from nylon, silk and lace etc its still on my pie chart of why I dress loving the feel of the clothing on me, but yes its a hobby i find it fun to transform and to be Davina for those few hours available to me but that time as the kids are growing up not knowing Dads a tgirl is scarce.

The stress release being dressed and the escapism is inexplicable and must be illogical to anyone reading we get stress relief from dressing and trying to present as women.. Who cares "it works" and helps balance our mental health somehow.

Do you have the same profile name on the other site? I know what you mean about some of the forums on chix, it can be a little daunting making a comment not knowing if you're going to get shot down.

I agree about the pigeon holing and I'm not against visiting a gay bar as probably safe but don't want to feel that's where you have to go.

Been good nattering, helped my day pass. Cheers

season starts this weekend for me, whole new set of clubs in play......(only kept wedges from last season)

awaiting big money offer call from LIV

It's taken many years to get to the point I'm at today. 2 years ago I decided to let go of the guilt, self hate and anguish that dressing brought and just accept that this is a beautiful part of who I am and I shouldn't feel ashamed. I got to a point where it was just making me constantly depressed and I was worried it would begin affecting my relationships around me. Since then I've had frank conversations with my wife and whilst it's early days still she is coming to terms with it, I think. I'm still only getting the smallest of opportunities to dress but that is more to do with current circumstances. At the end of the day who are we really hurting. Like a few have said the stress relief is immeasurable for that time dressed.

If you ever fancy a round of golf Kimberly let me know, although the south coast to the north coast is a wee bit of a drive 😁