By: Katie
Subject: Why I post here
I like the lively chatter here and although some options expressed here are not necessarily those I share I am willing to listen and learn from other peoples points of view. I have even change my thinking on occasions.
I am also willing to put my opinion across in what I believe is a civilised and well thought out way. I try and read and re-read everything I post so as not to make it too personal and so that it won't be taken in the wrong way. I appreciate that words can sometime be misinterpreted and it is difficult to try to express feelings and meaning in a short post. We haven't got the time to write a long essay so sometimes our thoughts are lost in translation.
We are each unique and have our own problems. Just the few of us here all have different issues that are not necessarily all associated with crossdressing. But crossdressing is the one thing that we all have in common and it is us trying to come to terms with it, either as a crossdresser or partner, that is the important point.
I have seen people coming to a better understanding and a mutual respect has been built between crossdressers and partner wanting to understand more. It's not going to be perfect but then we're not perfect. We all have our own narrative about who we are, a cognitive dissonance the has to be overcome which takes time and understanding.
We are all guilty of confirmation bias and saying rash and hurtful things only provides further evidence that we are right in our beliefs. Sensible reasoned debate is the only way that we can understand each others feeling and maybe be more compassionate about others.
I think that a great understanding have been built up here and I don't want that to be lost. I think that we can all speak candidly here but we must always be conscious of how our word maybe interpreted by others. If it becomes too passionate and less about reasoned argument then the whole process falls down.
Please be thoughtful and considerate in posts. Don't try to generalise because we are not all the same and above all be compassionate.
By: Davina
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Why I post here
The lively chatter is good.
It is good to get random points of view.
It is good to read something which can change your thinking and make you think broader.
In forums I have learnt that what you type can easily be misinterpreted and twisted in what can sometimes be misconstrued as a Monty Python argument sketch with the mentality of some people who I call the “Tranny police” - Something I am keen not to let happen here – “We are all equal”.
Crossdressing is the one thing that we all have in common among other things like humour and the air that we breath and it is us trying to come to terms with it as crossdressers chatting to one another and partners which keeps this blog going.
I think some of the bias can come from both sides of the male / female divide with the main bias being us men cannot get our heads around why women get so freaked out by us wearing different things “Womens things” and also why women don’t wear womens things lol, It’s almost that time of year when women wear tights, dresses and heels as the summer leaves us..
It’s impossible to generalise because we are definitely not all the same with different levels of acceptance and problems outside crossdressing.
Peace and Harmony please bloggers :)
By: Sindy
Subject: Re: Why I post here
Sarah and I are pushing each other's buttons for whatever reason this week - maybe we both have pms lol.
I agree though, no more generalisations and snarkiness. Well, snarky is needed sometimes but I'll do my best. :-D
I've learned a lot here too and I can hear the pain and joy in other stories here as well. It's not a one size fits all experience and I even think this crossdressing experience might be completely unique for every man and his partner.
So let's all be friends again. :-)
And Sarah, I am sorry for you pain, even if I can't relate to why or how. You're suffering and that's not good. I hope things can improve or therapy offers some help.
Meanwhile, I'm off to consume something stronger than coffee and take the edge of a long day. Kids are a joy, but dang they're also exhausting. x