By: Sindy

Subject: Why Stay?

Well, it's still the new year and all that, and it dawned on me we're just talking nicely nice here lol. That's fantastic if you're those of us already here, or a crossdresser, but nicely nice is NOT what a newly informed wife wants to hear.

Oh no. She's sad. She's feeling betrayed.

So shoving aside the nice talk, I want to address WHY it's okay to stay married to a man who crossdresses. And I know this might offend the men here as it's never nice to feel someone is needing encouragement in order to accept you, but that's how many marriages survive this. And often women need to feel it's okay to stay with a man with a proclivity such as crossdressing and if they don't get that internal approval, they leave.

So here goes, ladies - this is why it's okay to stay:

- MOST women stay with their husbands when they discover he is a crossdresser. Solid research from a support forum I frequented (substantial research numbers if I recall) showed that the number who divorce when discovering the dressing is at 8%. That means 92% of wives will try and make their marriage work. So dont feel like you're a freak for staying in your marriage. Most women do!

- Crossdressing, while creepy, is harmless. And I know deep down that's what you're thinking....it's creepy. Thing is, the creepy factor comes from secrecy and society. As long as your husband is a Davina Dresser, it's harmless. If he's transgender (a different gender internally) or bisexual or whatever, there are potentially more harmful issues. But the Davina Dresser is far less complicated. Remember that. He's just wearing women's clothing and apparel - he's not sourcing a new pair of boobs from the local plastic surgeon because he feels he's Barbie inside. It's superficial and harmless.

- You have a man who is in awe of women. That's at the heart of it all. If you accept him, I have a hunch you'll have a partner who will adore you until you're lowered into the ground!

- Your life CAN be normal! This is the issue many wives fear and even I still worry about it. How can you have kids and family and work and just be normal with a man like this? How?!! Well, the Davina Dresser controls the dressing and not the other way around. The wife learns to trust this, but also to trust her own strength and identity should her husband 'out' himself. Confront your worst fear, decide how you will react, and then move on. I have done this and my husband knows my feelings. Like all relationships, after that, it's not in your control what happens so go and live your NORMAL life like everyone else. No one has a crystal ball so you're entirely normal in that way!

- He might see the real you more than other men. After all, he's in awe of you enough to emulate you. He could play golf or football or swim or whatever, (he probably does these too!) yet he chooses to emulate a woman. It's hard to swallow this as a compliment, and I still struggle, but it is. He doesn't do this to torment you. He does it because long before you existed to him, this was how he expressed his desire for you and for something inside him. Strange but true. It relaxes him to be like you. So he sees you differently than other men, and perhaps he sees you more clearly.

- He's human. He's YOUR human. Out of 7 billion, you found each other. That holds some statistical significance.

I have many others but it gets too long in this chat format. Anyway, I hope this helps even one wife stumbling upon this site. Nicely nice is fine and helpful, but it's also nice to hear the truth. Because it actually ain't that bad and maybe I was too nicely nice myself! :-D

xx