This is well worth listening to if you're a wife or girlfriend of a crossdresser or even a T girl yourslef Gwen the wife of a T girl Stephanie interviewed which i've summarised below and pointed as similarities to me and my wife and our journey with me being a T-girl / Crossdresser / Trans..

Gwen is 40 married 10 years together 13 years.. and Steph came out to her as a Crossdresser and they talked and worked it out.

He or as she lovingly refers to her as "She" throughout when refering to Stephanie which is nice dropped hints.

• He tried on lingerie once with an Ex

• Maybe he knew a friend who was a crossdresser what did Gwen think to that (testing the waters)

Gwen worked away a bit and Steph would become Steph when home alone (they dont have kids so thats a major hurdle out of the way).

I wonder how often i'd be Davina if my wife were away with work and we didnt have kids???

So he came out to her and showed her photos of Steph and Gwen agreed with some trepidation to see the pics.. Myself and Esme went through this stage also..

She asked questions

• Do you fancy me still

• do you still want to be married to me

• are you gay

Gwen had preconcieved notions on crossdressers

• Drag queens

• Gay men

• Sexual fetish

Did she want to be married to someone in Drag makeup and flamboyant dresses and image, did she want to be married to someone whos gay and the sexual kink well she said hmm to that..

Her idea of a Crossdresser certainly didnt link with the person she was in love with and married to and I know Esme will resonate with this when trying to get her head around macho male me as Davina she said it's just not who you are.. but it is somehow..

Her fears

• was he attracted to men

• was he still attracted to her

• did he want to reamin married

• did he want to be a woman

Uness you ask and talk about these fears they linger so get it out in the open

She went through a reevaluation herself

• was she still attracted to him?

• did she still want to be married to a trans person

The acceptance progressed to Steph asking Gwen to see her dressed and she agreed again with trepidation .. Again similar to myself and Esme.

I did ask my wife if she was posing as Gwen on a podcast lol

She didnt want to say no to meeting Steph for the first time dressed so did it and they progressed like myself and Esme at a slow pace of acceptance bit by bit understanding what it meant to her husband to have this escapism and what it meant for her being trans.. It sounds scary putting that "what it means to her to be trans"

That may bring it home in more of a serious than a hobby/fun nature but we crossdress we're trans I'm trans and it's not been easy accepting this myself let alone a wife to accept that they're married to a trans person but we need to understand there is a trans spectirum or refered to on the podcast as a scatter graph and we all reach and move to our level of transness so its important to be honest and open about it and i've assured Esme and myself I've reached my transness its my escapism and yes id dress a lot more if i could but im not about to become a woman.

She reflects the stages they went through from just being a crossdresser to now presenting fully as a woman on weekends and some gender fluidness and would she at the start have been ok with the full on makeup wig the lot and maybe not but it progressed over time with accepance and discussion but Gwen says finding out there was a fully dressed and a character to steph at the start may have freaked her out more.

As a straight woman attracted to manly men this was a challenge to that that hes presenting as a woman and she's not attracted to women - Something Esme has said to me many times.

His progress form dressing as a kid in womens things to makeup wig and a persona as Steph like he becomes this other person and i think its easier to as Gwen says compartmentalise Steph as being this other person hes her husband but for a few hours he's escaped to be someone else and she states its kinda fun.. which is great

I've progressed the same and Esmes compartmentalised it too I believe.

So here theres alpha male hubby me then theres Davina and i think my wife would be friends with Davina she does say i'm nicer as Davina.

Now Gwens not scared / worried as they treaded the waters slowly over time and Gwen states she needed that.. again like me and Esme our acceptance my own of me dressing and her acceptance was over a number of years with different levels of agreement.

Her advice is "Ask all the questions even the ones you're really scared to ask" and my advice to the T girl on the end of the questions is answer them.

She states in Steph is the person she fell in love with is in love with her best friend and companion and isnt any different because of the crossdressing and being stephanie sometimes - Being Stephanie has always been part of them and part of the person.

They've ventured out once together pre pandemic - again i asked Esme is this you? as we did the same pre pandemic then the pandemic hit Davina like a bus in terms of having covid and no opportunity to be Davina in lockdown and since with the kids older..

Stephs motivation for going out in public was

• See if she could pass

• see if she could blend in

Same as mine.. validation

Gwen says she did pass and blend in and was taking selfies to prove it

Who is she out to?

This surprsed me as out to Gwens Mum and sister and theyre fine with it plus some friedns and work collegues..

Stephs on social media and her mum in law is a follower..

I have asked Esme if shes told anyone and i genuinly woudlnt care if she has but id also like to know if she had and who.. I'd actually find that quite exciting.

Method of coming out is genius showing a pic of Stephanie and saying do you know her?

I do t think anyone would guess Davina is me..

Gwen is worried how people especially out of the closet and out out will precieve Stephanie and percieve them .. Stephs ex GF blackmailed him as a Tgirl (Tried to).

Not so worried about people finding out (maybe different with not having kids as thats a whole new problem if it gets out) but know people would have lots of questions they feel would be asked and i know that too i'm confident i could field questions but also know it would be looked on as a negative thing by a lot of people.

Gwen says nowadays queer / LGBTQ isnt as socially shunned any more but more so in the younger generation (us in our 40s and 50s and beyond may struggle to win understanding if we came out trans)

Gwen says shed think it safer to go out in trans groups than in public crossdressed. I've only been out in public but would like to try a group outing / event.

Gwen mentiones at the time years back google was worse than hopeless but nowadays podcasts and better resources and help sites "Such as why do men crossdress" lol I hope to make contact with Gwen and Steph showing them this site..

She mentions she can see where her hubby is in the scatter graph of trans or as i call it the sliding scale of trans spectrum.

Why stick by Steph?

• Brings her stress levels down having such a loving man in her life

• she can be her with him

• they just fit together and love one another

For me i can say this about my wife and about being Davina having an effect on my stress levels and mental wellbeing

Gwen is on a site with her hubby mentioned as Discord (I'll find out more) where like this site she can comment and help others - I really wish Esme would do that here as so much to offer other wives and GFs with her experiance of Davina and she can be as honest as she likes about her fears etc .. would be good for me to read too.

She cites opportunity to chat with other partners being important.

They have met another t girl and had a good time getting together dressed and talking about all this. Something me and Esme havent done but there is someone on here thats a possibility for at least a drab meet with another t girl and her wife i think wouldbe nice to do.

Shes commented on Stephs short dresses and that too is something Esme has said to me be classy not trashy she says and also has a go at me about stockings she deems tarty..

I happen to love stockings on women (and on me) with heels

Discusses Stephs online presence (I'm on here and T Vchix plus pics on flikr) and its true we can get a following and some creeps as Gwen puts it but we can ignore them.. photos may give a tale away with features in the house thats true i'll have to be careful

Gwens accepted Steph becoming her true authentic self with steph accepting too this is part of who she is and Davina is definately a part of who i am and my escapism from who i've become as a man. Gwen also notes some benefits in this in confidence and steph being more comfortable in him / herself.

For me this is true and such a stress relief you couldnt believe it.

She again cites keep asking quesitons

if shed known about steph before they married would they be married

A qustion for Esme too if shed known shed be married to someone whos trans / crossdresser / t girl dressing fully makeup wig perfume etc would she have married me.. probably not but its progressed and happened over time from trying things on to getting to where I am and i can blame Esme in part for one jump forwards her putting makeup on me that in terms of video games levelled me up brought me a steap closer to the character "Davina"

What Gwen does know is she can put the brakes on if there is something she doesnt like and all wifes have that handbrake.

how to come out in 2024 comapred to 10 years ago? so much easier now for younger people who openly express sexuality and gender with so much more known and more rights for LGBTQ people. Gwen said it blows her mind on how younger people just accept it off the bat.

She reccomends sharing this early in a relationship and set expectations but realise these can change over time.

Her style as a woman has changed and so has Stephs.

When throwing out clothes Steph intercepts them.. Lol Esme sometimes black bags clothing and i always check and take out what i think will be ok for me.

Benefits of marrying a t girl?

• She hates shopping but knows Steph can go buy her an outfit which will suit and not necessarily one shed have picked out but it will suit.

• Understands her feminine emotions more

Cons

• Sometimes refers to him as her in public forgetting lol

• Having to keep the secret

• Scares her he may get hurt if he went out as Steph with the safety perspective and some people being anti trans

With reference to Steph on social media Gwen comments if she made it big as a Trans trend setter she'd hope to give up work lol

Perfect world Crossdressing, sexuality and Gender we'd get over ourselves and seperate the idea of sex and gender v how you present yourself and wishes that gender was less of a socail construct.

The host thanks Gwen and i hope to hear more from her in the future on the pod cast.. the host says thanks for putting up with our rediculous selves and i say similar to Esme thanks for accepting and putting up with this silly side to me and it is and isnt silly as its become a bit of a mechanism for me being Davina for a bit for my own good and mental health.

I have some grasp why i crossdress no doubt there is bilology and other theories i just know i enjoy it and i escape for a while into being crossdressed and presenting female.. harmless.

Gwens closing remarks

• Maintian honesty

• Keep asking quesitons

• find resources

• dont do this alone network with other wifes and gfs and eachother

Gwen promotes her email for partners as ohmyguhness@gmail.com assuming the .com but..

Onto the video and podcast well worth a listen ive listened to it 3 times.