Oh i'm probably quite demure as Davina and walk differently hold myself differently but I'm not Camp I think my wife would laugh her head off if I started mincing and acting camp but I also change my mannerisms and feel different more relaxed and the wife says i am different and nicer when dressed so something changes in me

I think there's a fine line between being too 'camp' and being too masculine. I've seen clips of CDs walking into a studio like John Wayne and then sitting down with their legs a part. That kinda crates too - kinda Les Dawson!

As I've said before sometimes the clothes themsleves dictate how you walk and sit but if you're trying to dress lady like then you should try and act accordingly.

My wife would go made if I posted a video of me dressed as a woman on here lol

Just made myself laugh thinking if id sound like a bloke though looking fabulously glamerous of course or if i'd put on a silly womens voice lol

Come on, Davina, post a video and we can be the judge! :-D

I've no idea why some Crossdressers go overly camp.

I don't myself (I hope)

His / Her videos are ok for a Crossdressers perspective but I do cringe a bit hearing the "trying to sound fem" voice and the campness.

I have been looking for a wifes perspective on video to add in here.

Good video, Davina. I like this Vera person.

That said, I noted one of my pet 'ick' things about all this, and that was in between acting what seemed 'normal', he (Vera) would do some over the top movement like flick his hair with a limp wrist or whatever...very annoying. Grown women dont tend to behave like camp gay men. This always comes across to me as very fake, or some sort of multiple personality disorder. Why the weird change of mannerisms? That older movie 'Sybil' always comes to mind when I see this behavior lol.

Oh don't get me started on politics a whole new forum will be required lets just say I think the current incumbents are weak and unstable and out of touch and bloomin dangerous and June 8th we need to see change even if its a coalition of chaos as the opposite will be a disaster from us all unless you're one of the 1%.

Quickly back to Crossdressing its far less complicated..

I'm with you Rebecca. I spend too much time reading the Guardian to worry about crossdressing. At least I have any easy choice in re-electing Caroline Lucas. We're just a bunch of hippe looney lefties down here in Brighton!

Find peace by talking then once you realise its none of your fears you have to set rules and just get on with it.

He's nicer when hes dressed quieter calmer and after hes been dressed hes more relaxed ive given up worrying about it hes discrete no one would ever know he does it life goes on.

Worse things to worry about like the general election and 5 more years of the conservatives which the husband is worrying about as he works in the NHS and I'm a teacher so both see the problems the current government is causing which the media keeps saying isn't happening.

Maybe not the place to talk about this but an example how crossdressing is not as important as the wider worries we all have

Rebecca (Wife)

Ok when you say Frozen I will put on my Elsa costume and sing "Let it Go.. Let it go don't worry 'bout crossdressing any mooooore... let it go let it goo turn away and slam the door..."

I don't really have an Elsa costume lol

Hmmm and app I wonder how I go about doing that lol

I still think we're a niche corner of crossdressing us married super hero occasional types so we can only give certain advice from this perspective but the more who join the more diverse replies we might get.

I chat a bit in TVchix when I can and when I come across an interesting T girl or wife I advertise the forum to them. Some have come in some haven't yet.

I'm going to list the titles we've discussed to put on the front page so we can try to avoid old ground a bit as it looks like if you went back and added more to an older thread it comes to the top of the list which is good.

Anyway this is as much a support forum as anything and we'll look out for "Frozen"

Frozen - that's my code word haha.

Thanks everyone. :-).

And doubtful hubs would be any use here. He's utterly crap at writing his thoughts down. I'd be an old lady living in another country with 20 cats before he finished the first paragraph. One liner comments are no use to me and I get FAR more from Katie and Davinas feedback. Besides, he has no problem. He is not doing anything wrong. He's respecting boundaries etc. And he knows exactly how I feel and where I stand on all this.

As one counselor told me a few years back, the issue is all mine. :-(

That's why I stumbled on here, I guess. I need to have a safe place to vent and chat and maybe even shift a little of these negative feelings. I have had it happen a few times! I felt resentful of it all until I read something Katie wrote and that day I was able to let it go and see the okay side. That was awesome.

I'm aiming for neutral. I hope to get there one day, though I know I'm also prone to bad days which is when coming here is my savior.

Maybe I need a code word - I can then type this word and you guys can remind me how simple and okay this all really is. You could turn this into a small business Davina lol. Or design an app that reassures wives when needed! :-D

I actually enjoyed Frozen when we took the kids having protesting having to be there lol See I do have a softer side and I've seen it hundreds of times and sang along.

Communication is the key and I'd be happy to chat off line with your husband Sindy I've chatted to hundreds of Crossdressers via email or in the chatroom in TVchix we really are very diverse but possibly there is a niche section with accepting wives who dress because we dress no other reason fetish or want .

In the word of Elsa!

Get him in here Sindy let him read your thoughts and our thoughts and get it all out in the open please don't leave as I'll be all alone as don't think the other wives have joined the forum yet "Not even Davinas wife!"

Or take up Davinas offer of a chat off line as a go between that might work?

Em x

Good to hear you've talked with your husband recently Sindy about his crossdressing and sounds like hes feeling sad and guilty that it's changed things between you.

Maybe at some point my wife felt this way but doent any more as I'm mainly presenting as a man and only occassionally does she see me as "Davina"

He needs to know to what extent it affects you especially if its not as dire as he assumes and you don't think less of him, not as a whole.

Surely you don't see him dressed so it shouldn't wreck intimacy... see in our minds it would enhance it to have sex dressed and made up that erotic mystique we know we'll never experience and cant expect it but that's just our fantasy (as I say to my wife i know you wont do anything sexual with me dressed but we'll never know how hot it might be) lol

Maybe at some point my wife felt this way but doesn't any more as I'm mainly presenting as a man and only occasionally does she see me as "Davina"

Neutral is possible when the crossdresser reaches his plateau and his wife or girlfriend is happy that it wont escalate to transvestism living as a woman wanting to be a woman etc. I understand your husband dresses when away from home in a hotel? does he tell you he's going to crossdress or is it entirely private? I could understand it if he was going out meeting others which may be of concern but he could be playing 18 holes of golf for 6 hours or cricket all day...

Crossdressing isn't likely to grow if you talk about it but not talking about it means he may talk to someone else then there's the peer pressure to do more to meet or go out dressed so I think not talking and having agreements is far worse than fretting and burying your head in the ground about it.. Getting out given this is occasional and done in private would likely be a massive regret as Crossdressing is such a small percentage of who your husband is

As we've said there are far more worse things he could be doing than dressing as a woman in a hotel room.

It would be great if he could come in here to chat or get him to email me or find me on tvchix and we can chat and of course I'll keep your identity and thoughts secret.

Don't we all look beyond each other faults to see the real person? If we didn't we'd probably never get together. I'm sure that some wives look on husband as a 'project' they can work on and improve. Nobody is perfect and occasionally we do thing that infuriate or disappoint each other. To walk away every time we were upset would be very immature and I'm sure we'd all be doomed to a life of solitude with a society full of single parent families. Not an ideal world. Instead we try and work round these problems to find common ground.

Love is very powerful. It always amazes me how devoted couple can be when some life changing event happens. When a husband or wife becomes the other person's carer it would be so easy to walk away but people don't. They stay and sacrifice their own lives to make the other person's better. I know I'd stay and look after my wife and I'm sure she'd do the same.

Being a part for a couple of weeks is nothing like being a part premaritally. My wife hates it if I'm away for even one night. I don't know how she'd cope without me and equally I don't know how I'd cope without her. We make a good team!

I do think that it's easier to discuss things here in the virtual world. Nobody judges and anonymity can produce honesty. To try and bring things back into reality is difficult. God knows I've said things here I'd love to say to my wife but stuff just get in the way and it never seems the right time. So finding a sensible solution here is fine, it's just putting it into practice that's difficult.

I think feeling neutral about crossdressing is the best that many of us can hope for. It's the "I'm fine with what you do just don't let it get out of hand" approach. There is alway a lot about ground rules and boundaries which I think are important, especially if anyone is concerned about progression. Some of these ground rules are implied, I think mine are implied i.e. I can do it but not flaunt it.

I think that I've reached a plateau and wouldn't go any further without encouragement from my wife. Buying women's clothes in a shop is traumatic enough that I can't ever see myself going out dressed! I like the idea, hear in the virtual world, but in reality it probably won't happen.

It's been 4 years since my wife found out. I had an initial 'pink fog' when I bought a few clothes, wig and boobs but since then it's really been maintenance purchase (yes I like to stay fashionable). So no escalation. I don't need to do anymore than I already do. I did feel a certain amount of peer pressure on other forums but got out, so now I'm at peace with what I do. Posting here is good as having a 'yin' (Sindy) to my 'yang' keeps me grounded.

Funny, but we had a chat the other day (hubs and I) and he hinted that he wished his dressing hadn't changed things between us. I couldn't lie because it has - but it's not as dire as he assumes. I don't think less of him, not as a whole, and while I know he thinks it has wrecked intimacy, we get on great otherwise, and I can see the guy beyond all this. But I need to look past it to see him, if that makes sense. And that seems to counteract what you're all hoping for, which is to be seen.

I fear that peace is impossible when neutral ground can only be found in neutral territory. A big part of me doesn't believe any of you, including my husband, that neutral is even possible. I don't believe you can stop wanting more or trying more or doing more, and yet I long surpassed my comfort zone. I can't take any more.

Is there any peace? Or, in all seriousness, is crossdressing always likely to

grow and someone like me is better off getting out now. I have these very real questions in my head and my husband has been away recently and it has given me time to acknowledge the incompatibility and consider life without him. :-( All true.

And yet, I love the silly sod. Is that enough?

I defiantly need to get my wife in here to read this and give you her perspective as no doubt to an extent she may feel the same.

I will try to get her to log in and read and contribute this weekend albeit it's another busy weekend.

I think you're on the knife edge tip of your tongue etc and if you understand all this in here getting your head around your husbands cross dressing is within your grasp.

Its back to I get it and it's ok for your husband to do that but not mine and my wife although accepting of my dressing is no different.

The only real way I feel is for you to discuss this openly with your husband and if his answers are the same as the answers you are comfortable with in here then what's there to worry about.

You want the manly man, honesty and faithful, happy and supportive etc and you have that but once in a while he needs to unwind and escape (don't worry about the why as my wife says it's just something I do) and that unwinding is very occasional cross dressing.