Aww no problem here to encourage acceptance as a wife its not reallynthat big a deal with your head around it

Emma (wife)

thank-you Emerg17. I appreciate your comments.

You've done fab with embracing it Emma it's not as scary as some think is it

My husband isnt trans per say ok this whole thing is trans but hes a crossdresser like Davina and Katie and many other tgirls here.

Ive embraced it and accepted it and we both have fun with it and for whatever reason ive realised it does help him with stress of work and think we take men for granted sometimes as they are useless of letting go and unwinding and keep hold of this heightened sense of stress and either become ill, brash or just explode with anger at some point.

I can see and tell if hes stressed and may even arrange for one of our girls nights without telling him just sort out a friday where we wont be disturbed lay things out on the bed for him and say go for it time to unwind.

My motivation is a happy husband and a happy mariage and a healthy stress free mind for the both of us his is that too plus the enjoyment he gets in being someone else or looking like someone else and the escapism from being my cave man for a few hours.

NOthing complicated to see here

Emma (RG Wife)

The motivation behind the crossdressing.

I have noticed that the wives who seem to have come to a better place with it all have husbands who are trans.

Emma and Rebeccas husbands are not trans per say they’re crossdressers like me and Katie.

Isn’t it rare for a marriage to carry on when a man wants to live as a woman.

I would think it is easier to live with a self-professed masculine heterosexual Alpha male man who has formed a habit of dressing as a woman… It has to be as it is so occasional as hes the man 99% of the time with stolen opportunities to crossdress.

The need builds and builds to the point we finally get opportunity to get our fix but it’s not through selfish behavior as we’ve probably put it off and put it off so not to affect our wives or family many many times and taking an opportunity finally where we feel it has least effect on wives and family sometimes to the detriment of our own sanity and stress… I went from June to October with a lot of stress in work and little opportunity putting it off and off and the stress made me ill last year and it was such a release in October to find time to crossdress and get that fix… what else do I have to escape the stress for a while now I no longer have competitive sport to unwind via aggression on the sporting field which was another way of releasing stress and tension.

Living with a trans person must be more traumatic as then everyone would know – would you stay with him if he said he wanted to live as a woman? Would that really be easier..??

Male crossdressers are sexually motivated even if they don't admit it, and anything sex related for men can be all consuming.

OK you’re onto something here it is a turn on but thats part of a wider pie chart of why we dress and men are very visual and touchy feely.. ie the feel of the clothing and how we feel wearing it and how we can look wearing it especially if we can look convincing but crossdressing isnt sexually motivated … when I think oh I could crossdress its the thought of transforming and dressing which is first and foremost and the fun I find in it the fact I sometimes get turned on thenmay bring a sexier side to crossdressing..

I also see competitiveness in the behavior – Yes this is true Katie’s put a photo now others may put their makeover photos which will be some form at some level of competition to say wow she looks nice look at me lol in TV chix theres a top 40 chart for example.

Thrill seeking that has lead men to sleep with other men while married. Not cool.

This happens as Katie and myself can contest chatting to others on TV Chix. Some compartmentalise it by putting it in a box that “Davina did” not the male self and some state they remain straight. Some do it situationally which lots of t girls have confessed to me as im nosey like that asking them why they did it and some do it as they have a sexless marriage or because they are secretly bisexual or whatever the sexuality is where tgirls fancy t girls… but yes it’s wrong

Which is also why I think a wife accepting it lessens the risk of this happening and a wife driving it away from home opens up the opportunity for this to happen...

Not to mention the skanky outfits,

I dont wear skinky outfits.. I’m sure Esme thought I might but she was surprised to see I was dressed normally.

endless money spent on shopping – I dont spend anything on Davina I would like to get some things but cant justify it so spend hardly anything on Davina .

An exhibitionist desire to go public and be seen. - Not all t girls have this desire granted I;d like to see what it’s like to be out after 20 years of dressing behind closed doors .. not in public per say but outside as Davina.

Even if I weren't the wife of a crossdresser, if I had a straight male friend behaving this way I'm fairly sure it would make me uncomfortable… I think most women are ok someone else being a crossdresser but when it’s their husband its a problem?

Personally, I'd rather not live with either a crossdresser or a trans guy as I like masculine men.

Well there you go “I am a masculine man!!”…. “Yay!” … but every now and then I dress as a woman it doesnt make me any less masculine

But I wonder if the time spent with a transperson who knows who they are is less rocky than time spent with a compulsive, thrill seeking crossdresser?

I know who I am

I know that living with another addict, an alcoholic, is hell, and I know this from witnessing a close friend go through it with her husband. She never knew when he would choose his 'fix' over her and the kids, and he was not the same person while drinking.

I cant see how crossdressing can be related to alcohlism or drug addiction

Sadly, I saw some of my own marriage in theirs. But she issued him a motivation and he is now clean. I can't do that to my husband because he's apparently powerless over his behavior and even counsellors now insist that partners accept it, and I've said this already, but that makes me annoyed and unbalances the entire relationship.

Its just dressing up as a woman in the unbalanced universe where a woman can dress as a man whenever she likes and change her image whenever she likes so I really cant see eye to eye on this

So I wonder if a man who identifies as a woman and is centered and calm about this, whether some wives, and society at large, will find him/her easier to live with than the drama of the compulsive male crossdresser?

Yes as transexuals and full time transvestites are more and more globally accepted where a crossdresser is still looked upon as a pervert even by some transexuals and transvestites.. “I’ve been told I’m not a real tranny” by a transexual person.. my answer was “Ok Am I bothered?” .. “Do I look bothered?… do I seem bothered .. I mean Am I Bothered?”

Does motivation affect acceptance? - Motivation by a wife to want to accept maybe yes with good communication and understanding