I have yet to read Savannah's book so maybe he's (she's?) addressed this already, but I was thinking about how Davina's wife still seems reluctant and perhaps uncomfortable with it all, as am I. It's really, really hard to verbalise the discomfort I feel about my husband crossdressing, and this almost innate gut reaction I have to it. I don't think it's rare. I've had female friends make throwaway comments about 'trannies' and I know they feel the same. I also have my doubts that it's entirely a response brought on by upbringing etc.

And then someone randomly mentioned an old movie the other day, and I had this 'uh huh' moment.

'Single White Female'.

Does anyone remember that film? I'm not sure if it was something even crossdressing boys thought to watch lol. But it was a big hit with girls and for good reason. It's all about a woman essentially being stalked by another woman. One of the most disturbing moments for those of us watching it (other than the obvious attempted murder scenes lol) was when the stalker appears dressed exactly as the other girl. Same hair style, dress, make up etc. Creep alert warning bells sounded off everywhere, and girls everywhere eyed up their best friends suspiciously!

Most girls feel weirded out when someone copies them.

Friends, sisters, acquaintences etc...so many of us have experienced that incredibly awkward and unsettling moment when you realise the other girl is intentionally presenting the same as you. Unless it's a planned 'dress alike' event, it's not a good moment.

And then it occurred to me that this is the exact feeling I get in the presence of a man crossdressing. Even though he's wearing an entirely different outfit to me, it's still this sickening feeling that he's emulating and copying, almost trying to possess what it is to be me. And when I say 'me', I do mean women in general, and yet it still feels like a personal attack. Does that make sense? I feel like I'm in a scene from 'Single White Female' when I see my husband wearing a long wig, dress, fake boobs and holding his posture how he thinks we girls hold ours. It creeps me completely out!

I would love to hear from other wives who have also felt this, or perhaps never felt it etc. Savannah, does your partner ever chat online? I'd love to hear her thoughts. But this is something I don't know I'll ever move past. I don't feel this way around my gay friends when they're playing 'drag queen' on a night out etc. Dang those were some fun nights lol. But then, I don't feel like they're trying to steal my soul or something lol. They're just having fun. They over act. They don't try to be real women. The crossdresser however, is trying to be an authentic woman, even for a short time. As an actual woman, it's an uncomfortable thing to observe. It can make you feel like you're being broken into parts, studied and then mimicked. The men who have it honed to a fine art are probably more confronting than those who look like stripper clowns. I'd say the very fact a man is passable makes me wonder how many hours did he observe women before he reached that level?

Possession.

That's what emulation can feel like. Like you're being possessed. I don't like that my husband tries to possess what it is to be a woman. I don't like feeling copied or studied. It is not flattering.

Now that I've confronted these thoughts and feelings, where the hell do I go with them?