It’s a strange experience hearing your own words read back to you via Spotify.

But exciting hearing Olivia saying she loved my email .. Although I didn't expect it to feature a whole podcast.

I listened to it again recently on one of my early morning walks and reflected again.

Hearing my email discussed, unpacked, and challenged by two intelligent and fun people like Olivia and Erika on the Weekly Hot Spot - Still makes me think Wow!

It took my truth to another level.

What struck me most listening back wasn’t just that they read my email, it was how deeply they engaged with it.

They didn’t just tell my story, they expanded it.

Challenging the “Alpha Male” Myth

One of the first things Olivia and Erika honed in on was the idea of the “alpha male.”

They didn’t just accept the label — they questioned it.

Erika, in particular, cut straight through it:

The whole idea that men must be purely masculine, emotionless, dominant… it’s flawed / folly. 

She made the point that we’re all human first, not roles, not labels.

And Olivia added something equally important, questioning where these ideas even came from in the first place. Was it history? Society? Outdated thinking? Freud?? 

Listening to that, it reinforced something I’ve felt for a long time:

The “Alpha” identity isn’t false — but it’s incomplete and expected by Society.

It's something I have to be, expected .. My male character.

Why Men Like Me Turn to Feminine Expression

What really stood out was how clearly they articulated something many of us struggle to explain.

Olivia asked the question directly:

Do alpha men turn to crossdressing or feminisation to access feelings they’re otherwise denied?

Erika’s answer was immediate:

“Absolutely. 100 percent.”

That wasn’t said as a theory — it was said as something understood and it's true.. I've chatted to 100s of Crossdressers and the reasons why we dress vary but escapism from male us and feeling "feelings" we suppress as men is something we gain when we present as women.. it's a bit extreme I know but it works.

They framed it not as deviance, but as balance which is a word I use a lot in my blogs. Balance and something that's good for my mental health.. Some who don't understand it would say "Yeah mental".. I can see the perspective.. Why as a married man do I present fully as a woman when I can, why do I enjoy it so much and find balance and escape in becoming Davina?

I've given it a lot of though and because it's fun, I enjoy it, and something Erika put in an email to me and I've heard her say on the podcasts which is the theory of being two spirited. And I like that .. What if I'm two spirited male me and Davina symbiotic. 

If you suppress vulnerability -It will find another outlet

If you suppress softness - it doesn’t disappear

If you suppress emotion - it builds pressure

It's not good to suppress all this as it will build up stress and that's not good for the body or the soul.

Davina, for me, isn’t random.

She’s where those things live and where I allow that side of me to be expressed that I dangerously suppress as male me. 

Another powerful thread from their discussion was around masculine and feminine energy.

Olivia and Erika spoke about how even in their own life, stepping into something like ‘strap-on play’ brought out a more masculine energy — confidence, power, assertiveness.

And crucially — They didn’t see that as strange. They saw it as natural. That flipped the narrative completely.

If women can step into masculine energy and be empowered by it…why is it so hard for society to accept men stepping into feminine energy?

That's a huge question - Why is a man acting more feminine so wrong? Frowned upon? Belittled?

Its Society led - It’s misunderstood and assumed.

My wife's said I'm nicer as Davina and when out on a date earlier in 2026 said this..

"Maybe I'm thinking about this in the wrong way, as in, maybe I shouldn't think of Davina as my husband dressed as a woman.. maybe I should think of Davina as a female friend"

That was nice, I’d love her to think of Davina as a female friend -  What’s also nice is corresponding with Olivia and Erika and being thought of by those two beautiful intelligent witty women as Davina as a woman .. I've only ever written to them as Davina they don't know male me. 

Olivia summed it up perfectly in a way that stuck with me:

Sometimes we step into something different to better understand ourselves — or even others.

“Davina Completes Her” — Not Weakens Her as I wrote the email as Davina it was so nice to hear Olivia refer to me as Davina, She and her.. 

One of the most powerful moments in the episode was Olivia reflecting on something I wrote:

That being Davina doesn’t weaken me — it completes me.

They both leaned into that idea.

Not as a novelty. Not as something surprising.

But as something that made complete sense.

Erika connected it directly to something deeper:

Every human being needs to feel peace, vulnerability, and lightness.

And then came the line that probably hit hardest:

“Men shouldn’t be ashamed of how they arrive at that feeling.”

That’s it, really.

That’s the whole thing in one sentence.

The Questions Partners Ask — And Why They Matter

They also didn’t shy away from the reality of relationships.

Olivia brought up what many partners immediately ask:

Are you gay?

Are you bisexual?

Do you want to transition?

And instead of dismissing those questions, they validated them.

Erika explained that for someone not familiar with this world, those questions are completely reasonable.

That was important for wives and Crossdressers to hear.

Because it’s easy to get defensive when those questions come — but hearing it framed like that reminds you:

This is new territory for both people.

Society’s Double Standards

One of the more interesting parts of the discussion was around how society treats gender expression differently depending on who is doing it.

They pointed out:

Women can adopt masculine traits — often even rewarded for it

Men adopting feminine traits — still heavily judged

Olivia even challenged the idea of who gets to define what’s “acceptable” or “attractive.”

And that’s when it really hits:

A lot of the discomfort around crossdressing isn’t personal.

It’s cultural.

The Bigger Picture 

What Olivia and Erika did really well was zoom out.

They took something very personal — my story — and connected it to something much bigger:

Identity isn’t binary

Expression isn’t fixed

Labels are often limiting

Exploration is human

They even linked it to things we all accept without question:

Dressing up at Halloween

Acting and role play

Exploring different perspectives

So why is this any different?

What I Took From It

Listening back, the biggest takeaway for me wasn’t validation — although that was there. It was clarity and hearing them talking about “Davina” made me smile inside and out.

Hearing two intelligent open minded women articulate what I experience in a way that made it sound… normal, accepted, given them my story so its out there hey this is male me and I crossdress but also not hidden although male me remains anonymous, 

Not shameful. Just… human.

I was asked if I feel empathy as a man.. Yes .. I ask myself is that because of Davina?.. maybe.. But I also think I'm pretty open minded, caring, loyal and a pretty good human being as a man or as Davina - And I don’t mean Davina is someone else, I’ve not schizophrenia or anything like that - Back to Two Spirited I’m happy as male me or presenting as my alter ego Davina but always rationale.

I believe in live and let live, I've always championed and defended the different and what's perceived as the weak.. I can't abide bullies and bullshitters.. people with an ego they can't back up and people who belittle others for sexuality, religion, politics, trans matters.. Toxic masculinity and macho BS.. Having just watched the Manosphere.. Those men and believe it or not there are some women like that also.. Let's all just get along be polite and open minded.. it's not woke to care about people and the planet.

Final Thought

Olivia closed the segment by repeating my words:

“When I become Davina, I tap into peace, vulnerability and lightness… I’m still me, just in a different gear.”

And Erika’s response said everything:

“Isn’t that wonderful.”

After listening back — I’d say that sums all this up perfectly.

Davina