Not me another agony aunt thiny this time a more serious one with the issue of crossdressing secondary but the agony aunt again in a rag of a paper getting paid to give advice yet again is crap.

MY wife found women’s clothes in my wardrobe and thought I was having an affair.

Now she knows they are mine, she says she feels differently towards me and that she wants to sleep with other guys.

My wife accepted I am not having an affair, but just like to cross-dress – but our marriage has changed

We have been married for eight years. I am 43, my wife is 38. We have two kids aged six and four.

Life was OK but during the past couple of years, we have started to argue and fight over nothing in particular. She says I irritate her and our sex life has become non existent..

I have always fantasised about wearing women’s clothes and even wore girls’ panties occasionally in my teens, but I repressed it and thought I had outgrown it when I met my wife.

I’ve had a lot of work pressure this year and my wife wasn’t being sympathetic. I found that wearing women’s clothes when I had the house to myself was very soothing.

Then I got a text from her when I was at work saying she’d decided to have a clearout at home and found the clothes. She asked what the hell I’d been up to.

She moved back to her mum’s for a few days with our sons, but eventually believed me when I said I wasn’t cheating, just enjoyed cross-dressing occasionally.

She now says she wants to go out and meet new men, and she keeps buying me women’s underwear

She came back but nothing was the same. Two of her friends started coming round a lot.

She said she’s told them about me and about our sex life, which hasn’t worsened lately.

One morning I woke up and she had painted my toe nails. I laughed it off but a couple of days later she bought some hold-up stockings and told me to wear them.

One day we were out shopping and she was buying underwear and asked which panties and bras I liked, saying her friend was having an underwear party.

I presumed they were for her but when we go home she said there was no party and the undies were for me as it’s what I am into.

We have grown further apart and now she says she wants to go out with her friends, meet other guys and do her own thing.

I know her friends are behind her attitude, as she listens to them more than me. I don’t know what to do any more.

Agony aunt SAYS: Your wife may feel your cross-dressing is a rejection of her and she is clearly angry.

I know you didn’t mean to deceive her at first but this must have come as a bolt from the blue for her.

Tell her you love her and that your sons need you to work together to resolve this crisis in your marriage.

Arrange to have some couple’s counselling with Relate (relate.org.uk, 0300 100 1234).

My e-leaflet on Cross-dressing Worries will help your wife understand your needs and also explains specialist support.

Davina – Hopeless advice this guy is reaching out for help and thats it?

Shes totally taken the womens side and given no advice at all with the woman stating shes looking for men.

Right first the marriage has other problems prior to crossdressing being discovered now put your big boy trousers on sit her down and outline that you are married, husband and wife and have issues to resolve.

Write down what you want to discuss and get her to write down what annoys her.

You’ve been caught crossdressing a bad way for her to find out and now you have to explain its something youve enjoyed doing it helps you somehow unwind it doesnt make you less of a man at all and the reasons for dressing I suspect you enjoy it, its stress relief and its making up for a part missing from your marriage.

No way will you tolerate infidelity as youve not cheated on her so this is out of the question.

As for her buying you lingerie ask her what is motivating her to do that and tell her thankyou but theres no need at the moment.

Its poor form shes told her friends and listens to them before you also poor form shes risking the marriage and also how it will effect the kids.

Sit down discuss it then discuss marriage councelling leave crossdressing for another day and sort the marriage first.