Hi Hannah, yeah it is like being in a hole and being in limbo, it's living a double life, half in and half out of the closet.

My wife knows, but won't interact with Catriona not even to see a photo so I keep her hidden even though she knows.

I tell her what I'm planning to do and ask for permission to have a makeover and go out dressed as Cat, and she's fine with that, no sign of resentment or worry of what might happen.

Her mood never changes now, she seems happy and everything carries on as normal as if I was just going out with my mates.

1. OK you're not gay and most crossdressers are the same i guess straight, bi or bi curious or for some they like men only when dressed they like to be flattered and flirted with or more and some t girls fancy other t girls some new form of bi translebian label where t girls get off with other t girls either on cam, over the phone, in chatrooms or meeting in person.

I don't fancy other T-girls! I admire some of them for how much work and effort goes into looking as female as possible.

Is that something you've done or thought of?

No I've never been on cam or spoken on the phone to other t-girls, the only person I've met is the MUA who did my makeover/ photo shoot and then video interview.

Paul is gay, he is married to another guy, they are both crossdressers! I later found out!

I've only messaged other T-girls on messanger but only on a social level.

This may sound like boasting, it's not meant to, i get hit on just about everyday on messanger, either from men trying to strike up a conversation or other transgender and T-girls! It gets annoying after a while!

But every so often I'll get propositioned from a closet lesbian cis woman, I've learned to spot them as the way they talk is more gentle, they won't ask for photos, they are gentle with the questioning, (I like that)

Some of them are very shy and some scared because of their culture and fear of being found out.

You can see they want to be with another woman and are fascinated by trans and T-girls but are affraid to show that in public.

Cat xx

I didnt want to be involved at all at first then curiosity got the better of me and now im fully involved. Davinas blog and this forum helped as i read about Esme, Sindy, Emma and Rebecca and others and the curiosity grew and it wasnt as bad as i thought to see him and be with him crossdressed.

It even enhanced our sex life and sex play.

I don't buy into the phylosofy of you lied to your wife by not telling her when you first met either as its a deep secret one you dont know if you should confess or not to someone through the fear of losing them or them thinking you a pervert isnt it.

If yiu've realised that you're more than just a crossdresser this might worry your wife to find out as start her thinking omg he will want to transition and if that happens im outa here.

OK you're not gay and most crossdressers are the same i guess straight, bi or bi curious or for some they like men only when dressed they like to be flattered and flirted with or more and some t girls fancy other t girls some new form of bi translebian label where t girls get off with other t girls either on cam, over the phone, in chatrooms or meeting in person.

Is that something you've done or thought of?

Straight and attracted to women and some t girls?

Dont stop inviting your wife wife to all the things you're planning to do. She may surprise you and say ok come along and enjoy it.

What if you got a makeover together?

Somethin we've done and others have done.

Its a big quest isnt it finding acceptance and leaves a hole where someone wont accept this which i fully understand as been there myself and resisted participation and feared sexuality for a long time and look at us now not saying everyone will end up like us as a couple but both happily bisexual enjoying a good sex life with his tgirl side fully engaged.

Hannah (Wife)

Yes it is a pity my wife won't try and be involved, but more than a pity, for me it breaks my heart sometimes that she's not even prepared to even see how i look as Catriona.

I don't buy into the phylosofy of you lied to your wife by not telling her when you first met, how can i be lieing when I didn't know what I was myself, it's so confusing when I was trying to understand what those feelings where? How could I expect anyone else to understand, and now that she does know, my suspicions were correct, this would of happend 28 years ago.

I've recently realised I'm something more than just a crossdresser, as I mentioned in the interview I see myself on the scale as borderline crossdresser/transgender, i don't have the overweling urge to transition fully, that is one thing my wife is concerned about, the other thing she is concerned about is that I'm gay, again I'm not, well not in the way she thinks I am.

As my male self in my everyday life I see myself as straight, I'm attracted to women, but then as Catriona I'm still attracted to women, so as Catriona i am lesbian, (translesbian)!

As I mentioned I've invited my wife to all the things I've either done or am planning to do in the hope that she will try and find it in her heart to accept Catriona, but by refusing to have anything to do with her what she's actually doing is saying she doesn't want anything to do with me, because Catriona is part of me, like it or not.

Cat xx

Its a pity your wife wont see that its better to be involved than to bury your head in the sand as i know myself all sorts of thoughts go through your head about what hes doing when crossdressed, whos he meeting is he cheating on me etc.

I agree with you that it's one thing to tell and show a total stranger who you are, but doing things like that gives you the confidence to tell your friends and family I think.

I've heard of plenty of stories from other T-girls and trans girls who have come across negative reactions and people who can be violent towards them when going out, but it's like anything when others don't like what they see and don't want to try and understand, that in fact those are the people with the problem not you! As regards to affecting relationships, again it's for the other person to try and accept the person who's close to them as they are, I've suppressed this side of me all my life and I'm not about to let anyone, even my wife to suppress that again just because it makes them feel comfortable, if ultimately she can't cope with who I am then i guess we'll have to go our separate ways, we don't have kids so it's entirely up to her if she comes to accept Catriona or not, there's no going back for me now.

I never push Catriona on my wife, i keep everything in the back bedroom, I've gone down the road of going out because it takes it away from the home, but at the same time gives me a chance to be me, now my wife has allowed that so I guess we've come to an understanding there.

I cannot think about how my wife feels all the time, i need to think about me as well.

Cat xx

I've not been on for a while my you've gotten brave well done its good to be able to tell people about your dressing isnt it as long as no one is negative or it affects relationships.. telling a stranger one thing telling your sister in law or someone another thing

well done

Hannah (wife)