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At work problems as a CD

Just wondering if any of you girls have ever had any remarks made by people at work that as far as you know don't know of your Fem side.

Example that's happened to me the last two weeks.

So a week ago I was just stood in the office talking to a couple of my colleges when one of them said why are your nails so long and pink? I just said they not pink but do have a clear coat on to stop them breaking.

This week the same person as I took his cup to brew up asked are you sure you not wearing false nails. To which I said no im not wearing false nails.

This is starting to get to me and really not sure what to do. To give you an idea what we talking about about see picture

13 comments

13 Comments

ally4322022

Aug 02, 2023

Just wondering if any updates at work. Any more suggestive/inquisitive questions from your boss Rachel?

Rachel

Aug 07, 2023

Replying to

So update. On Friday I had nails redone but had them shorter see picture. Today I’ve been asked have I had them trimmed/cut I can't win what ever I do

Davina

Aug 07, 2023

Replying to

No idea what difference someone nails makes in work.. ignore them.

Becca Riot

Aug 07, 2023

Replying to

Well. Just embrace it then 😂. While work is great for me, my wife isn't, and im considering wearing black and purple nail polish as my next passive agressive pushback

Emma Alta

Jul 24, 2023

Hi Rachel. As others have said it is your choice to grow out your nails (and well done they are impressive) but they are undoubtedly going to create a reaction - they are feminine and that is the point.

Whilst it would be great to have everyone simply not comment, that is not the world we live in. Unless it goes to bullying type comments then I’m controversially going to say if you are going to push boundaries - and I strongly believe everyone has the right to do so- you’ve got to also accept there will be questions.

Stay strong and do what you believe in and what makes you comfortable. Progression of rights has never happened without a few set backs

Becca Riot

Jul 24, 2023

Further note. While i have oenly come out at work, im still picking my battles. There are some who may not be on-board and harbour internalised transphobia, so its only discussed if people ask, so not to play into the "they are shoving thier kink in everyone's faces" hysteria the TERFs and Nat-C crowd have been whipping up.

So far my insta for becca is private but 4-5 of my collegues have sought me out on there.

My main dialogue in work is commonalities, to remain humanised in the eyes of some, and i had privelage of allready having some respect having been a change advocate wigin the office, representing and involving staff in quality of process and workplace improvements, as well as wearing my justice sensitivity on my sleave for years

Becca Riot

Jul 24, 2023

Replying to

Yep. Mohawked enforcement officer here, with a reputation for telling people to do thier job (what they fail to mention is the work to encourage and support upskilling, or trying to win hearts and minds of the uninterested before i snap).

Im also known for being outdoorsy and active in military simulation games so all the signs pointed to my more "direct no fuss" side of my persona.

Lately people have been seeing the other side, acknowlaging the work i am doing off click with two colleagues with GAD overcome thier fears and become more active and involved with projects, and on the charity hike the outdoorsy side was recognised as a carer as i was thanked for hanging back with the stragglers and being pushier with stopping to fest feet and check blisters when they felt they needed to catch up.

The point i try to prove to people that people dont need to be one thing at sacrifice of the other side.

The nutter with a pyrotechnic ban is also the one who will help others up

Rachel

Jul 24, 2023

Replying to

Davina

As we only a very small company we have none of this and like you say the equality law 2010 only makes reference to people who have or in the process of transitioning.

The person who is making the comments will soon be the owner of the business so really not sure what to do at moment.

I was out yesterday with nails fully painted so felt like leaving them as they where and go in work this morning with them still fully painted.

I did not by the way

Davina

Jul 24, 2023

Replying to

I'd probably not push it and go in with Iron Man red nails but no one can tell you to cut your nails or stop shaping your eyebrows etc..

And if you were called out as trans.. your family already knows.

Part of my point is I'd not care who I work with as long as they do their job well..

I'd love to get up shave all over put on my black tights, heels, nice skirt and blouse or dress, a more girly laptop bag, jacket, full makeup and bobbed blonde wig and get the train in and go into the office in work.

No doubt first no one would recognise me but I bet within minutes my boss or some other "boss" would be pulling me to one side for a chat about what I was doing or why od turned up to work dressed as a woman or rather presenting as a woman..

I'd probably say we'll firstly you lot drove me to this although I've been secretly trans all my life to some extent, secondly diversity and inclusion bitches and LGBTQ work society.. Yall happy to be photoed on Pride marches here's me showing some pride now if you don't mind I have work to do..

That's how it plays out in my head anyway.

In real life its not as easy as that I know and it's sooooo frustrating.

Davina

Jul 23, 2023

I've had lots of instances where I've been in the mix of people in work and crossdressing has cropped up and I've sat and listened at people with just a bit too much knowledge on the subject either crossdressers themselves or admirers ..

I've accidentally appeared on a video call with people across the UK as Davina.. I got away with it I think.

I had a message on my phone left at silly o clock in the morning by someone putting on an accent saying "I know you dress up like a woman"

Can only be someone from work on my work number .. I ignored it and no repeat and no one ever said anything in work since then.. figuring it's someone who's seen me on tvchix so they've got some interest in tgirls.

I'd ignore the comments on your nails.. they're your nails .. mine grow so fast sometimes mine are long.

Becca Riot

Jul 23, 2023

I've sidestepped this by being open about being genderfluid. While i dont present feminine in the office, my anxiety over these incidents have dropped quite a bit.

I do realise i am privileged to work in a very progressive office right now, which is kind of a sanctuary when my wife is in a particularly combabtative mood.