Brilliant! It's like a whole new world just oppened up to me :)

Yes Muggles non crossdressing folk not in the know

Emma

I was just reading this thread and spotted a reference to "Muggles" is this referring to poeple who are none transvestite? If it is i think thats so funny, but in a nice way :-)

Not yet!

Last time I stayed away with work dressed in a hotel in Shrewsbury i popped out to the car to get my phone charger dressed. Past the girl in reception and past a couple was a bit of a thrill as they didn't bat an eyelid.

That's the extent of my out in public apart from once at home putting the bins out as Davina on a dark winters night. Lol

Was just looking back through and found this back.from the blog says

How many girls here have been out in public ?

Emma (Wife)

By: Davina

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Going out

Hi Rebecca

I've read both Karen Adler's books one about her husband Mark and how she discovered his crossdressing and the other a compilation of stories from lots of trans people.

I'll have to give my wife a prod to see if she will read and add more thoughts to the blog.

Our chat the other day she did say she's not bothered about the blog :( bit ill see what she says

By: Katie

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Going out

The only site for 'normal' crossdressers. I'll take that as a compliment!

By: Sindy

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Going out

I'm with you Emma. I don't want the hubby here as he's got about 3000 crossdressing sites he could frequent if he wanted, yet try to find somewhere a wife can discuss issues with decent feedback from some 'normal' crossdressing men and well...there's none. This is it.

So I ain't sharing!!! lol

By: Katie

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Going out

I maybe speaking out of turn but I aways thought the idea of the of Davina's blog was to help the wives and partners of crossdressers and by association the men themselves.

I think that having wives and partners contribute here makes it all the more valuable to those needing help for the first time. Been there and got the T shirt!

Too many of the crossdresser sites that are dominated by men are too 'pink and fluffy' so having wives with different outlooks can only help. Equally some of the CD wives sites are vindictive and nasty so I hope that we've got a good balance of reality here.

I'm sure your husband would say if we'd got it wrong through the power of 'Em'.

Enjoy your evening you dominatrix!

By: Emma RG

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Going out

What let him come on here reading all this and adding his thoughts? noooooooo

Sindy doesn't let her Husband on so I'm not letting mine on it's my way of chatting and discussing let him find his own.

He has read things on here and seen what I've written but he's just said I've said it all anyway but if you think it would help Katie I will allow him to contribute lol.

Look at me becoming the controller of my man all dominatrix "I may let him contribute" he is watching me type this and just poked me in the ribs lol

By: Katie

Subject: Re: Re: Going out

I bet he spent the whole time looking ahead avoiding any eye contact!

Good on you both.

Katie

PS It'd be good to get his side sometime.

By: Davina

Subject: Re: Re: Going out

Bloomin Ek Emma I bet he was nervous leaving the house and being driven through the village lol.

Sounds exciting though and you really do get a kick out of making him squirm I think.

You're a really positive story on the blog and I'm glad you're both having fun with Crossdressing.

By: Rebecca RG

Subject: Re: Re: Going out

Has anyone read Something to Confess by Karen Adler?

She found out her Husband crossdressed and was going out so at least you guys are talking to your wife about this and not doing it behind their backs.

It ended up OK for Karen she had a rapid acceptance phase but better to be open and honest like Davina and Katie with wives and have an honest discussion.

I've said hello on Davina's wifes guestbook.

Davina is she still reading the blog?

By: Emma RG

Subject: Re: Going out

Hi Kids hows things? Hmmm going out

Well we’ve done it lol

We’ve come a long way as you know and we’ve both become pretty confident with crossdressing and he now really does look the part with a nice wig which compliments his face shape and he's so good at makeup.

A few weekends back I said what shall we do tonight go out or do you want a girls night in?

He said a girls night in would be nice so both got our glad rags on did hair and makeup I picked out his outfit he picked out mine.

Surprising the taste in clothes crossdressers have and the eye for detail.

So we’re sat there watching TV when I realised we had no wine.

We had beer from Christmas she he / she was ok but no wine so I said I’ll nip out and get some and left the house got in the car then thought shall I?

I went back in opened the front door an yelled “Are you coming or what?”

He was like you’re joking arent you and I said no its dark come on quick the coast is clear so he put on one of my coats and legged it in his heels for the car.

We drove to a supermarket miles away lol not our usual and he was cringing until we got out of our little village then settled down lol me driving my husband crossdressed in the car he was quite thrilled and I found it so funny.

I joked I hope we're not pulled over by the Police how would we explain this lol. He didn't find it funny.

We got to the supermarket and I got out he didnt so I went back to the car and he said “One step at a time I’m not going in there” lol

So I got the wine then we drove home the coast clear he legged it back inside so my other halfs officially been out dressed as a woman and we both found it quite exciting lol.

Go for it Davina and mrs Davina

By: Katie

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Going out

Muggle central is a pretty daunting thought!

I can see the attraction of a T girl event but I'm not one for late night dancing! I'd also be worried about the 'admirers'. Guess that's a problem real woman have so if I wanted an 'authentic' experience that I'd be the one to go for!

By: Sindy

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Going out

Fascinating. How you describe it, Katie, as almost the next thrill in life, and you don't have much left you haven't tried, well maybe you should try it once? But tell yourself you will do only once, because there does seem a problem with you lot going out in public and then ramping it up into daily outings and suddenly you have a new gender on your licence lol. I doubt this would happen to you and Davina but given how your wives might feel about regular outings, make it a one time thing and any extras are a bonus.

With that out of the way, why not organise something? If it were me I think I'd prefer Davina's idea of not doing anything 'muggle central' as I think you'll need a very thick skin. And maybe you do? I just think Davina's wife is right - he can hang with the girls now and they love it, but if he rocked up as Davina I'm fairly sure they'd politely make chit chat and then tell Davina's wife not to bring her weirdo husband along anymore lol. Reality isn't the same as fantasy and I have friends who know my husband dresses but to actually see him and engage him like that would not go very well. It's very, very hard for women to put aside the reality you're a man under all that garb and treat you like another girl. I suspect few can do this so that experience will be hard to find. You can pay people to pretend though, and that's what makeover places etc will happily do as you're a paying customer. They'll call you a duck and brush your feathers if you tell them. :-D

But I always think it would be more fun, if I ever felt inclined to hang out with crossdressers and my husband, to be at some crazy kink bar or gay bar or whatever. I used to frequent gay clubs regularly and wow they're fun, and I'd want him to blend in and look as odd as everyone else, rather than be standing next to the crossdresser at Walmart haha. I'd have to disown him in muggle central, no matter how good he looked. People always know.

Why not plan something in another city where you'll be anonymous and then Katie can hit muggle central and get that adrenaline rush, and Davina can go cray cray amongst the nightlife. Sounds sort of like fun! But keep chanting 'I'll only do this once' because I don't want to see you two slip down the obsessive plug hole and disappear in a puff of pink smoke!! Hopefully Mrs Davina and Mrs Katie have enough over you both that you'll retain some control!!

Don't make me come over there and slap you both up the head lol.

By: Katie

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Going out

I can understand about being in 'muggle central' but it really depends when and where you go. I've walked around almost deserted shopping centres.

I've read how helpful the sales assistant are and how much they genuinely want to help. I think lots of women are intrigued about crossdressers - it's just not in my backyard!

It would be good to see what sort a job a professional could do with makeup. If it's on the bucket list then cost shouldn't be an issue! Some are happy to do it for free if you buy their product! A win-win.

By: Davina

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Going out

I wouldn’t want to go shoppping .. I think if I went out it would be to some event with other t girls for a meal or just socially having a drink and I’d want my wife there but she’s unsure if she’d come .. would I go out without her? Hmmmm

Shopping sounds good but then you’re in muggle central under the spotlight and not sure I’m up for that ...ever.

A makeover would be fab but I’ve ruled it out on account of the cost but wouldn’t it be cool to see how fem and convincing you could look having had a makeover and some photos = Pure Vanity.

I’ve had plenty of nights out with the lads and I find them boring and overly macho and predictable

I prefer to go out as couples (always have).

I’m also lucky enough to have girls nights where I’m the only bloke there yapping away with the wife and our girly friends and as I’ve mentioned before they say I’m like one of the girls .. but didn’t believe me when I told them I crossdressed lol..

So I kinda do experience the girls night out and do wonder when with them sometimes what this would feel like as Davina and what difference would it make… Wife would say “ahhh They’d think you were a pervert and not ask you out again nor bother with me” lol

By: Davina

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Going out

Sindy “Just always been curious why men who don't want to live as women feel any need at all to go out publically dressed. Doesn't make sense to me. Why do want to go out, Katie?”

I don’t know lol… I think it’s a little boring being stuck at home dressed behind closed doors and curtains and its a bit boring being stuck in a hotel room as Davina when away with work.. no company and no one to talk to apart from in a chat room or on skype.

Girls nights in are ok as have the wife to chat to.

I was away yesterday and got to the hotel 1500 booking in time to book in do some work there on the laptop and a phone conference and by 1530 I was crossdressed fully made up and a few hours later was thinking I wonder if anyone would give me a second look if I left the room and went out to my car and back… why ? I have no idea. Maybe it is the element of excitement maybe it is exhibitionism maybe its the “I wonder if anyone would notice” but if I did go out it would be miles away and to some event not our in regular land with the Muggles.

The whole going out thing just came out of my mouth when chatting to my wife after a few beers and I think it means subconsciously its something I just want to try doing for whatever reason .. maybe I‘m mad lol but it’s starting to add to the “Davina type crossdresser” a bit..

Maybe this is just part of the crossdressing journey… maybe I’d hate being out as Davina.. but then you don’t enjoy everything on a bucket list once you’ve experienced it so who kows.

I will have to read the article now lol just incase I do venture out one day.

Agreed no need whatsoever to discuss with the kids and it would have to be a top secret mission in a different city.

The bloke catch up just seems a nice thing to do to meet other straight “Davina Type Crossdressers” have a pint and laugh about us being Alpha male crossdressers lol

I didnt expect to find my wife agreeing to come along as like you I thought she’d say she couldn't imagine anything more boring (and surreal) than listening to a group of men discuss dressing like a woman but she was a lil drunk when she said she would so maybe she wont sober lol..

Who knows I might feel a bit weird too...but I’ve chatted to these guys for ages so meeting up seems a logical progression unless we all decide to keep our annonimity.

Love Sindys quote “Go for it! Just make sure to whisper or meet up far from home so you don't find out a colleague from work witnessed your wee get together” lol

By: Katie

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Going out

I guess the going out is to experience some of the feminine things that women do that as men we don't.

I know most of them would be mundane for a 24/7 woman but things like going shopping for clothes. At the moment it's either internet shopping or going into a shop and grabbing an item I've seen, queuing up feeling really self conscious and getting out the shop as quick as possible. There is no pleasure in that experience, whereas, just being able to browse and try on clothes without feeling that pressure would be great.

My personal shopping experience was a glimpse into this world and it made me feel special. To be given that attention and being able to talk to a woman face to face about what suited me and what didn't was great. In the end I didn't feel at all self conscious and it just felt normal.

I'd love to have a makeover too. I try and put on makeup every so often but to get that expert guidance on the right way to do it would be fun. I see women in the beauty departments getting fussed over, trying on different shades and I am jealous. I'd love to know how to best make the most of what I've got so that I can feel I'm doing a good job.

I'd love to experience a night out from a woman point of view. I'm sure that a night out with the lads is completely different to a night out with the girls. I'm talking about getting the glad rags on and maybe going out for a meal and a good chat. I'm not looking to go out on the pull or a hen night with male strippers though!

I guess that we can play dress up at home but there is more to feeling 'feminine' than just the clothes. It's an attitude thing too and to be looked on as an equal in the female world would be special. When I say equal I mean being able to experience some of preserves that are normally only available to women.

My wife hates the idea of a spa day but I'd love to experience one from a female perspective. Being primped and pampered would be a good way of losing some of those typically male traits. It's something that is totally unnatural for most men which is why I'd like to try it!

For me life is about experiences. I've travelled the world. Dived in some of the best coral reefs in the world, trekked through jungles looking for orang-utans, swam with dolphins, rode elephants and many more experiences. I'd hate to die with regrets and I'd just like to experience being a woman for a day.

I'm not talking about walking out the front door or even popping down the town all frocked up. It would be miles from home where nobody cold ever recognise me. It would be a thrill and maybe that is some of the attraction.

I know from reading blogs and posts in the past that the adrenaline rush is very real. Maybe I'm a bit of an adrenaline junkie!

Maybe risk taking is more of a male thing. There aren't too many things left that can give a middle aged man that rush and maybe looking for that next rush is why some men feel the need to go out dressed. I know we could be subject to riddle and violence and maybe that is what makes it such a rush.

As I said my private shopper experience was very controlled. I arrived and left as a male but spent the whole time locked away in a private suite as a female. It was still nerve wracking to start and my heart was pumping.

It does seem that it is a combination of experiences and feelings that make going out dressed such a compelling act. Looking back over this reply it's funny how it starts off wanting to experience feminine things and ends up as an adrenaline trip.

Most of the time I'm able to control this urge but occasionally it bubbles up and I think 'what if'. Just thinking about it creates makes my stomach flutter so to actually go ahead - well maybe one day!

I hope that this answers some of your questions Sindy and maybe gives you a better perspective on why I'd want to go out dressed.

By: Sindy

Subject: Re: Re: Going out

Haha, no freaking. Just contemplating as I've read that article before and mentioned it here I think. Just always been curious why men who don't want to live as women feel any need at all to go out publically dressed. Doesn't make sense to me. Why do want to go out, Katie?

Can anyone else answer this public outing phenomena? Is there an element of exhibitionism here? Can't be validation because we all know how Jo Public react to crossdressers - they assume you're gay, insane, a punching bag or they just outright ignore you. So what's the appeal?

But I guess if you absolutely must do this then that's a fair list in the article. Though I didn't know why a discussion with the kids was needed. Surely a secret night out in a different city doesn't require a public announcement? I think maybe that article is covering transgender dressers over the hidden kind...I don't know.

And Davina, nothing wrong with a bloke catch up. I wouldn't want to go along as I couldn't imagine anything more boring (and surreal) than listening to a group of men discuss dressing like a woman lol. I sort of wonder if you won't feel a bit weird too...like you're blending your two lives? If not, why not. Go for it! Just make sure to whisper or meet up far from home so you don't find out a colleague from work witnessed your wee get together.

Sometimes, and I don't mean this to be hurtful, but I actually crack up at the conversations we have here. Who'd have thought these were the things grown men spend their time pondering/doing? And I'm an old hat at all this now, and yet I still have to pinch myself on occasion that I'm having these chats, or that my husband is also doing this. It's always going to be true that unless you're a man who crossdresses, it's impossible to truly understand.

Laughter is good too though. I'm not laughing at anyone, just at humans in general - we're such a complex bunch. Makes my boring mom days interesting. Thanks! :-)

By: Davina

Subject: Re: Going out

Sindys gonna freak!

“It would be great to get out again but in a controlled environment”

“Whilst I'm not rushing to get out there, more of bucket list item than a burning desire it does none the less introduce a new dynamic into the relationship”

Funny you should post this as Saturday night me and the wife were out.

A woman we know was out with her friends and my wife said omg she looks like Kaitlyn Jenner with what she’s wearing and I commented and her friend in the short black dress and black tights and heels looks like she’s got a bit of an Adams apple..

What’s this got to do with anything well I said “Look at my neck I’ve not got an Adams apple at all, and I’ve got long girly eye lashes”

This after beer and wine bearing in mind we’re in a pub got us talking for over an hour abut crossdressing which we continued walking to the bus then continued when home until 0200 in the morning.

By now I’d had about 6-7 pints and she’d had the same amount in glasses of wine and we just chatted about my crossdressing and I asked her again her fears and again sexuality came up so again some reassurance so onto the point.

I’ve been chatting to other straight married T girls in TVChix and we’ve formed a bit of a support group. I’m the only one whos never been out .. well apart from that time I put the bins out as Davina and I do get the bucket list as initially I asked my wife

“what would you think about me meeting some other straight t girls for a pint as blokes” and she said well if you wanted to that would be ok so I said “would you come too?” and she surprisingly said ok.. so that’s something which might happen soon a kinda outing but as blokes although sober will she say ok? I will have to see if it can be arranged as it would be nice to meet others and chat.

So I went on more a bucket list thing again just to see how it would feel by asking her how she would feel if I went out dressed and would she come with me… her initial fear was hang on think of family etc and I explained it would have to be miles away from home at some event and she said no she wouldn’t go with me but then surprised me with if you want to try going out do it just don’t tell me..

I said well I don’t know if I want to do it or if its a bucket list thing and if I was going to do it id want her to know so she said ok tell me after you’ve done it and again I said id rather be honest and open and tell you if I was going to go out so she said ok but a million miles from home..

So I have an option but I said I know I'm shifting the goalpost and she said what you mean? I said well we’ve moved goalposts a few times and now I’m saying I want to move them again and go out dressed for the experience of it to see how it would feel ad she said don’t worry about it.

So will have to have this discussion again sober and rational but the drink with some tgirls as blokes may be something we’ll do or I’ll do if my wife doesn’t want to go just be nice to talk to others about crossdressing and hope no one eaves drops lol.