That’s an interesting point about blaming wife’s? I would consider myself to be straight, but I do wonder if sex was more frequent, she wore lingerie and makeup rather than comfy big pants and no makeup and occasionally slipped into a french maid outfit or handcuffed me to the bed no and again, would I still crossdress? We’ll, I’ll never know, but I probably would, but definitely wouldn’t get the urge quite so often. Crossdressing is part of who I am, but it also substitutes other things too? Perhaps that’s where the after dressing guilt comes from?

This whole thing of sexuality is really a can of worms as means so much to so many. For me I've always liked femininity and been attracted to it. So in those terms my tastes are towards women, and I always wanted the traditional wife and family life, and always wanted my own kids. Had I been born a women I would like to think I'd have been a great mum, etc. From my male life I'm generally happy. Times I'd like to be able to dress more and if I'd not met my wife of now 22 years who knows how things might of panned out. In regards to straight/bi/gay, etc then I'd say primarily straight but can see different elements in me depending on how I feel. I honestly think as I get older, and when I first chatted with my wife about my crossdressing that I want no one other than her the rest of my life but if being truthful I can understand the gender neutral position, in that if I was single I think I could fall for the person over the sex if they were right for me. Male on male will never be my thing but I'm completely comfortable around others. Even if I had bisexual notions I'm faithful to my wife and she is to me, I have too much of a good thing to throw away. I find that quite often I wish I could gravitate more to the feminine but either through family, career or sport ended up in more masculine places. I guess I have almost an ongoing fight where if I didn't have to act a certain way I might be more feminine and chilled out. Don't get me wrong I find if anyone is overly masculine or aggressive then it's fires up my stubborn:aggressive side. Basically I'm a bit mixed up but at least through forums like this starting to get my head in a better place and accept myself. So thanks to all of you for being there. X

Given this post has been up 4 days I did think it might have elicited a few more comments but it does seem to be on the move now. Maybe the fair amount of activity on one of the other threads has encouraged comments. I dive in and out of this forum reasonably regularly as I find it hugely informative, kudos to Davina (in the main) for creating new threads, and it's great to get others perspectives on why and how they dress and also the partners comments....great insights and thought provoking. Anyway, back to this one. Have I ever considered I am bisexual. No. Never. Thoughts have never crossed my mind in that way and I dress for my satisfaction and pleasure and not to attract other males (in whatever guise etc). Personally I find the male form fairly unsexy tbh, now don't get me wrong, there are some 'attractive' men that I can appreciate (actors, celebs etc) but that's more a facial thing where I can agree that a bloke is 'good looking'. This doesn't mean I want to shag them or vice versa..... NO THANKS. The female form is far more attractive. Always has been, always will be. If I consider a very nice lace lingerie set on the female form (and yes I know they are designed around the female body) and then consider the same set on the male form...... I know which I prefer 😁. Would I be happy if my partner was bisexual? That's a difficult one as if it was known at the start of the relationship and we had navigated the ensuing 25 years together, as we have, then obviously it wouldn't be an issue. We would no doubt have worked her desires into our relationship. I'm sure it would have been daunting in the beginning but it's all hypothetical really in our case as she's not! It would certainly have been a threat, probably in the same vein that our partners (who know) may see our crossdressing as a threat. I know two couples who are together because the 'straight' partner left their male married partner for their current female partner. I'm not going to lie, I do have a couple of fantasies based around my crossdressing, but don't we all?

my opinions

I’m certain sexuality and whether you are gay, straight, bisexual has nothing to do with crossdressing itself. .

If my wife announced she was bisexual I would be ok with it but if she cheated on me with a woman I would be furious- as I would be if she did with a man. It isn’t who your spouse is cheating On you with, it’s the fact they cheated.

Now, if she said, could she invite a girl into our bedroom - would my views change? It would be a shock after nearly 20 years of being together but it would be different because the spouses are complicit in the three-way. And I wouldn’t want to end up like Ross on Friends episode-I seem to recall he ends up making a sandwich after getting bored of watching

I am sure there is a sliding scale of sexuality. Some of us find other CDs/Tgirls sexually arousing - there is countless ‘shemale (horrible term) porn available, but would never be turned on by man on man gay porn. Some men who have no trans tendencies themselves are going to be into Tgirls and not male porn - where do they sit on the sexuality spectrum If it is only feminine Tgirls they are into but with something extra.

I do suspect that the majority of women on the whole wouldn’t find man on man action as sexually appealing as men find lesbians (always will be exceptions)

I’m off to watch the Friends flashback episode

I thought this one may have got a few comments .. Maybe its more for the wives with the questions. Its also the elephant in the room for wives but to a lot of tgirls not an issue, not part of why we cross dress. I'll answer one of the questions. I'd have no problem at all if Esme was Bisexual... But I know she'd hate it if I was. It's kinda the same as this person is a cross dresser or this person is bisexual and that's fine ... But not my husband. I've heard, read that sort of thing so many times.. So why is this different for a bloke.. Would I be OK if Esme was into men and women, sure but its probably because it may make Davina more of a sexual arousal to her? Or is it just us men are perverts and the idea of two women kissing etc is a preprogrammed turn on? I mean two beautiful women kissing or having sex must be most men's dream fantasies if they're part of it or just watching? So does that feel the same if we see two convincing good looking t-girls snogging? If we didn't realise they were t-girls maybe but if we knew then male us would say that's bisexual and not as attractive to the brain as two women.. So next what if a wife was bisexual but inactive in she said she fancied women but had never tried? Again I'd be cool with that but would assume I'd have a fantasy about her with a woman and shed have one herself.. Or if she'd been with a woman and admitted it us males would want to know the ins and out of what she got up to and we may see to less than cheating and more a turn on as it was with another woman.. But as we know from Ross on friends a woman can leave her husband for another woman.. If the shoe is on the other foot though a wife is probably less likely to be turned on by men kissing and touching? Less likely to be impressed by a man with bisexual fantasies or curiosity and would probably kick him out if he'd acted on it. Mix in the crossdreasing and it may be worse for a wife.. Esme mentioned something to me once about cross dressing to attract men.. No not on my tick list I cross dress for myself, my own mental health, the escapism and the fun of cross dressing.. I don't do it for sex although I can get really aroused when I'm Davina "Autogeniphilia - getting off on ones self" and I know from messages that men do find Davina attractive but I'd not go near a man with a barge pole. This forum tends to skirt around the sexuality aspect which is good and bad. Good in that I don't want this forum to become another knocking shop cross dressing website but bad in that the sexual and sexuality aspect gets mentioned a lot less here than I know is reality from chatting to wives and other tgirls. Maybe that's fine but its still one of the "Elephants in the room"..